


Creepy Potter and the Azkaban Breakout

by Piff



Series: Harry Potter and the Cursed Children [3]
Category: Creepypasta - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angry Murder Children, Angry Murder Horse, Bad decisions and the friends who support them, Dark Harry Potter, Gen, Gore, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Incest, Lupin's a jerk, M/M, Questionable Broom Modification, Violence, Violent Harry Potter, teenage boys being teenage boys, very briefHarry/Liu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2020-02-10 18:14:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 33
Words: 83,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18665731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piff/pseuds/Piff
Summary: Boy, aka Harry Potter, is thirteen.... Brace yourselves, puberty is coming. Maybe he'll finally get a little taller this year, that would be fucking great.And Wizards worry too much, who cares about a prison breakout when you could be modifying your broom?--Things have gotten stranger and darker, so prepare yourselves for a wild ride.Tags will be updated as needed with each new chapter.





	1. Why the Long Face?

Boy stretched his arm out as far as possible, barely hanging on to the apple by the very tips of his fingers. 

In return, the suspicious-eyed horse stretched its neck out also as far as possible, lips flapping in the air like a mute Mr. Ed… but the apple was just barely out of reach. One of them would have to move closer and Boy didn’t want to be the one doing so. The horse was a gorgeous, majestic creature with a gleaming white hide and long silky tail. Just the sort of horse described in a children's story being ridden by a knight in shining armor. Or evil sorceress.

Which would explain its tendency to snap at fingers or attempts to run over a curious Proxy. 

If Boy could just.. reach a little… further… 

He waggled the apple coaxingly, and he was finally rewarded by the horse slowly shifting its weight and leaning in a few precious inches. It grabbed the fruit with its massive yellow teeth and the apple vanished in seconds.

Perfect. 

Using the moment of distraction, Toby lunged forward and grabbed at the handle of his favorite hatchet where it just so happened to be stuck in the beast’s neck. He pulled at the weapon with both hands but all that happened was the horse stepped sideways under the sudden pressure.

It be stuck but good. 

Masky jumped in and wrapped his arms around Toby’s waist to add more weight, but even so, all the horse did was whip its head around and lunge at them with a very unhorse-like scream and bared teeth. 

“Shit!”

The proxies scattered in all directions to get out of the way. No one dared actually touch the beast, not knowing what would happen but having a good idea. All around the head of the hatchet where it had landed, the flesh of the horse had gone black and bubbly like it was leaking tar instead of blood and just as sticky. Weirdly enough, after it had kicked Toby clear across the field during the initial attack, the horse hadn’t seemed to care it should have been dying of blood loss. 

It had even let Boy get close enough to feed it an apple.

Now, however, the bubbly black goop started to spread from the wound. It leaked down the neck, across the shoulders and back, then down the legs to the ground. The goop also leaked upwards towards the head. It only took a couple minutes of astonished watching before the snowy white steed had turned itself into some sort of liquified zombie horse with glowing white eyes.

The not-a-horse screamed again before leaping into the pond. When the rippling water had calmed back to a crystal clear clarity the horse was gone. Completely vanished- along with the hatchet. 

Toby dug his hands into his hair and yanked. “Fuck fucking fucked fucker.”

Masky wiped a chunk of mud off his mask before replacing it back over his face. “Honestly, this is what you get for attacking a random creature you knew was acting suspicious.”

Hoody stared across the meadow at the pond. “Can we.. set it on fire?”

“The water?”

Toby whined. “My _axe_..”

Liu slogged his way through the knee-high grass to rejoin them. “Call me crazy, but has anyone tried talking to it? Kelpie’s are supposed to be intelligent.” He reached over to pull a stick out of Boy’s braid, tossing it over a shoulder.

“A what?”

“Kelpie. Shape-shifting water fae.” Liu looked from one puzzled Proxy to the next. “..nevermind. Go back to camp, I’ll stay for a bit and see if it can be reasoned with once it calms down.”

“Good luck with that. Toby tried to chop its head off so it’s not likely to respond well.” Masky looked back to the pond and would have sworn he saw a pair of white eyes peeking out of the water. They were gone when he blinked. “Ehhh… Keep the brat with you, I don’t want anyone out here alone right now. And be back by dark.”

The shift to a daylight schedule had been a complete surprise, Boy hadn’t known his brothers could adapt to sunlight. Well, he knew about half of them could. Alright fine, most of them did alright in the day hours, it was mostly just Jeff who refused to face the sun. And yet..

“Wait, why do I have to stay? It’s Toby’s fault! Can’t we just fucking buy him another one?”

“Why don’t we just buy another one of _you_ ,” Toby growled. The usually very energetic and happy boy was slouched over with his hands in his pockets. He glared at the pond until Hoody grabbed him by the arm and pulled him along. 

“Now there’s an idea… what do kids go for on the black market these days anyways?” Hoody mused aloud. “Or pieces of one?”

Boy sulked harder as the voices faded, his outrage firmly ignored. “How long are we waiting?” The campsite would have had a nice big fire and dinner and why was Liu being so.. _Liu_. This was not the time to be Liu, this was the time to make a strategic retreat and leave!

“Long enough.”

“It’s not gunna come out, it’s just gunna sit there and fucking watch us.” Just as before, his sulking was outright ignored by the taller boy. But then Boy was pretty sure he’d been a brat for most of the week so far, being ignored wasn’t a surprise by now. He didn’t want to be out camping in the Scottish wilds! He wanted to go home and play video games and beg to go on a hunt and.. 

Boy could see the Kelpie out of the corner of his eye as he whined. A little shimmer of silvery light where the horse was poking its head out of the water to watch the Proxies. Boy was seeing all sorts of auras these days. Magic was gold, so was electricity, but the Proxies had a sort of dark gray haze outlining them instead. Now he was seeing silver. Great. Perfect.

Liu hmmmed lightly in response.

Boy shifted from one foot to the other. Wiped his hands off on his new and already filthy hoodie. Eyeless was always prepared by the way, the jacket was even in Boy’s favorite shade of red and the sleeves were long enough to be pulled over his hands and it had holes for his thumbs and a great big pocket. Boy was pretty sure he’d thanked him. Mostly sure. Might not have. Boy had been in a bit of a mood at the time he’d been handed the jacket.

“ _Liuuu_ …”

“Shhhh.”

It was starting to get dim. Not dark, the sun was still a few inches above the horizon, but dimmer. Once Boy was able to stop thinking about how irritating his wet jeans were, it was pretty nice out. Quiet. No sounds but the birds and the wind weaving through the grass. Very very faintly came the sound of moving water.

Scotland was utterly gorgeous in the summer, he had to admit. And he’d almost forgotten what they were waiting for until Liu gently nudged him. “Look. It’s gotten curious.”

The Kelpie had fully lifted its head above the water, bright white eyes glaring at the two boys. Also a lot closer to the edge of the pond rather than the middle. It was sneaking closer. Closer..

“It’s gunna try to eat us again.”

“Just wait.”

Boy fought off the urge to yawn. Being so still was making his brain slow down to a crawl after the previous excitement. Which he guessed was Liu’s intention since a calmer Proxy was one less likely to stab a magic water horse in the eye. Even if it did move startling fast when hoisting it’s over-sized body onto the grass edging the pond.

Boy blinked at the monster now a mere twenty feet away. The front half was pretty much like a half-decayed zombie. The back legs had melted into a sort of fish-like tail, all bloated and lumpy like the designer wasn’t sure how a fish tail looked. 

“... _gross_.”

“Don’t judge it by human standards.”

Boy squinted. When put that way… Nope. Even for a zombie horse it was still gross. The Kelpie hissed at the boys, mouth gaping open to show off a nice set of shark teeth.

Boy looked up at Liu as the older boy seemed content to stand and watch the beast. “...soo…”

“It ate your offering of an apple, I’m just wondering if you should be the one to approach it.”

“What. No!”

Boy could have easily shrugged off the light grasp on his shoulders as he attempted to leave, it was nothing like Jeff’s grip that left purple and black bruises from his fingers digging in. It would have been easy to break away. Let’s put it down to conditioning as Boy wilted under the touch and allowed Liu to turn him back around. “But Liu…!”

“Just move nice and slow, and try not to look any more suspicious than you already do. Ask if you can have the hatchet back, and we’ll leave it in peace. That’s it.”

This is what happened when you spent all your time with a nose stuck in a book. Boy liked to read but not to the extent Liu did because all Liu ever did was read! That’s how he knew the Hellbeast was a Kelpie and that was kind of helpful, but then he also got weird ideas in his head! Such as sending his delicate, delicious baby brother to face down a man-eating monster four, ten, twenty times his size!

“I think you need a shrink…” Boy muttered even as he took a small step forward. “What if it tries to fucking eat me? You know it will! I’ll barely be a snack for that thing!” 

“Trust me.”

Boy whined. He loved his brothers, Liu included, but there were some days they drove him batty. Like now. Right now. This was insane.

...Liu rarely asked him to do something though. Which meant even as Boy really, really didn’t want to take small, careful steps towards the Hellbeast with his hands held out to the side to prove he carried no weapons, he did it. 

“Nice horsey, good horsey. Remember the apple? Nice, tasty apple wasn’t it? Much better than eating me. Want a… uhhhh...” 

Shit, he didn’t have another apple. All he had was.. half a candy bar? 

“....how about a candy bar? Ever try chocolate?”

The kelpie hissed at him again. Not even a proper hiss, it was just some boring whistling air without any proper words. The Hellbeast looked like it had stuck its face in a lawn mower before eating it, so maybe it was full of too many holes to talk properly. That’s if it actually was as intelligent as Liu said it was. 

“This is sort of a one-time offer you know, I can’t get any more of these right now. I can bring you a hamburger I guess. Some bacon? Who doesn’t love bacon. Bacon is almost better than murder. Which means the best bacon comes from a murder but if you murder me then you won’t get any bacon at all.”

He was babbling but it seemed to be working as he edged closer. It stank of rotting fish but a nice breeze kept it going in the other direction and Boy blessed all his lucky stars. He held out the last two sticks of his kit-kat. 

 

“One little bitty axe that has to be a little annoying by now, for some nice yummy chocolate. And bacon. I won’t forget to bring you bacon tomorrow.”

It was the most disgusting sound ever, a wet sucking slopping sound as the hatchet chose this moment to slowwwwwly disengage from the goop making up the beast’s neck. Or as the beast chose to let go of it because it had a supernatural control of it’s goopy form which made more and less sense.. 

All Boy knew is that the sound was just as disgusting as the rest of it, making him wince away and nearly lose his fingers as the Kelpie lunged forward to take the candy bar from his hand.

“Mother fucker!” 

Three things then happened at once- Boy fell backwards onto his ass, the Kelpie lurched forward with its mouth wide open, and three rapid gunshots cracked through the air. Hellbeast rocked backwards onto its tail and Boy scrambled to his feet in such a hurry he nearly fell over a second time.. 

“I FUCKING TOLD YOU!”

Liu shrugged. “Don’t forget the hatchet.” He continued to aim down the barrel of his pistol just in case three bullets to the face wasn’t enough of a warning for the Kelpie. He didn’t put it away until Boy grabbed the oh so important hatchet and fled to a safe distance. 

“See? Easy.”

“Fuck you Liu.”

Turned out Liu was correct about the intelligent part, as the whole team found out in the morning when the Kelpie showed up for breakfast and refused to leave without the promised bacon.

Did you know Kelpie’s could take on a human form? Boy didn’t. Masky didn’t. Liu did but then Liu could be one hell of a snarky bastard who refused to share information until it was blatantly obvious. A shared family trait for the Woods when you thought about it.

“It’s a Kelpie. That’s what it does.”


	2. Campfire tales

The Kelpie became a complete nuisance after that. It spent the morning prowling the perimeter of the camp until breakfast was ready, Smile Dog keeping pace with raised hackles. Once the bacon had been fried the Kelpie would then plant itself by the campfire and wait, long strings of drool dripping from the shark-like teeth. And then it would vanish for a couple hours but come back at lunchtime. And then dinner. And then it just never fucking left at all during the few days the boys stayed in the empty grasslands.

Masky had taken Liu aside the first morning and grilled him on his knowledge of Kelpies. Which wasn’t much but better than nothing at all.

“It’s a Fae, Boy promised to feed it bacon in exchange for the axe so… Nothing we can do really. It’s probably harmless now, if that helps.”

Masky turned to give Boy a _Look_ , as Liu continued with- “Once we leave we’ll never see it again anyways, since it’s bonded to the pond here. Where’s the harm in feeding it?”

Masky shifted his gaze back to the creature and glared. The Hellbeast looked like some melted-clay configuration that was half-horse and half-man and all-weird. There were large patches of white and black skin/fur that kept shifting around its skin. It was a little hypnotizing if Boy stared too long. 

Boy blinked rapidly to clear his eyes. He’d thought he’d seen a splotch across the beast’s chest that looked like a bird and had nearly fallen off the log that was being used as a bench as the bird seemed to flap its wings and.. A good time for him to get thumped on the shoulder and snapped back into reality.

“Move it brat.”

With a sulky huff, Boy moved to the ground in front of the log so that Jeff could sit down behind him. “There are plenty of other places to sit!”

“Yeah but this is the one I wanted so shut the fuck up.”

Boy felt his braid get lifted off his back and then his head jerked to the side. “OW. FUCK. WHY?”

“Have you seen this ratted mess? It looks like you’re trying to weave a damned dreadlock. When was the last time you brushed your fucking hair?” Jeff dug the spike of the comb handle into the end of the braid, trying to tease the strands apart. “Fucking Christ, it’s like we raised you in a goddamn barn.”

“Didn’t you?”

“Didn’t I tell you to shut the fuck up?”

Head jerking every so often as Jeff fought with what had been a braid and now was a matted mass of hair, mud, and a piece of Mimi’s shed skin, Boy tried not to wriggle too much. When had he last brushed his hair? Uhh…. 

The Kelpie looked entertained enough, watching with big dark eyes as it scraped teeth against the bare bone of the sheep’s skull. It had been gnawed clean of skin and flesh and it looked like the Kelpie was now trying to crack the skull open to eat the brains. Smile Dog was nearby gnawing on a leg bone, the creatures having come to some sort of snacking truce for the moment. Smile Dog did NOT like having the Kelpie too close, but at least Kelpie had stopped trying to eat him.

The air was full of wet, slobbering, crunching sounds, easily masking the quieter sounds of the Proxies eating. Well, most of the Proxies were eating. Some were feeling too high-strung at the moment to eat.

“I’m gunna fucking shave your head.”

Wincing as a particular strong yank ripped a chunk of hair out of the mangled mess, “I’m not going to have anything left TO shave if you keep pulling it all out!” 

“Serve you fucking right. Have you been walking around like this all year? People will think we’re fucking neglecting you.” There was a long riiiiiiping sound as Jeff dragged the comb through a chunk of curls and ignored Boy’s whining. “No one is intimidated by a head covered in mats.”

“It’s not my fault, you guys have been running me ragged ever since I left the school! I haven't had the time! You guys barely give me time to eat!” Boy waved a piece of bacon in the air to prove his point. Sheep bacon was, by the way, a little weird but delicious and Jeff was being a mean bastard.

“Bullshit!”

The argument was broken up as Toby dropped to the ground to sit beside Boy, his plate piled high and drenched in syrup. Draped over his shoulders like an expensive fur stole was Voldemort, head raised to look around over Toby’s and hood fully expanded. There was a spot of maple syrup on the tip of his pale nose.

“ _Pathetic_.”

“ _They should have left you at home in your box_ ,” Boy snapped. He kept trying to eat but his head kept getting pulled back every time he tried to take a bite. 

Voldie hissed at him but it didn’t take a keen ear to tell it was half-hearted. Even a wizard could only stand being locked up in a tiny box for so long before going a little stir-crazy. Add in a good bout of Stockholm Syndrome from Toby feeding him rabbits instead of mice, and the deal had been set. Voldie wouldn’t try to bite any of the boys, and Toby would take him out around the Castle and occasionally beyond. Toby couldn’t understand Voldie’s hissing but they had worked out a system of gestures that seemed to be working for them. Boy had very briefly attempted to talk to Voldie about how he felt about working with a _muggle_ but nearly got strangled to death by the snake in return. 

Since strangling wasn’t biting, Voldie had been let off the hook and the two now spent most of their time ignoring each other.

Speaking of snakes, Boy tried to find Mimi in the fire pit where she’d wanted to go play among the embers and ashes. It was still too hot to get close, when the Proxies built a fire they built a fire. Eh, she’d be fine. She knew to scream if she got stuck on something. Too bad he couldn’t take her with him on the hunt, but Eyeless had promised to keep her warm and fed.

“What kind of journalists are we waiting for anyways? Do people ACTUALLY still read newspapers?”

BEN, perched on the hood of Masky’s car where it was safe (dry) and he was never going to explore a place that had hidden bogs _ever_ again, spoke up. “Not that kind of journalist. They’re collecting evidence and documenting their finds for other weirdos like the suckers trying to capture Bigfoot. They aren’t affiliated with any actual scientist or news channel, just an online forum.”

“Cool.”

Actual reporters wouldn’t have been a challenge at all, not with their mountain of equipment and microphones and fake smiles, so this was good. Sneaky weirdos on the other hand made hunts so much more fun! ! Sneaks weren’t as concerned with laws and they always thought they had a chance to get away. Boy was so excited to be a part of this hunt! He hadn’t liked it very much when he was younger and couldn’t run as fast but Harry had been jogging almost every morning for 9 months, that had to have helped!

Unlike Jeff who was about as un-excited as a person could get but then he wasn’t being allowed to come along. Boy would almost have felt bad about it but… yeah. 

He was going on a Slender Man Hunt! Chasing and taunting and attacking! Should Boy bring a knife? His hatchet? His Beater Bat? All three? He wasn’t exactly allowed to kill anyone himself during the hunt, especially not this one.. But you can do a lot to a person without killing them! In that case, Boy wanted his bat. Maybe.

“Are there such things as a switch-blade bat?”

For a moment the only sound was the wet gnawing of teeth against bones. 

“...huh.” Hoody looked up at the sky as he pondered the idea.

“A locking mechanism perhaps, rather than a spring.”

“Too big don’t you think? Giant stick one one side, knife on the other.. Better option would be to have the knife hidden inside, not attached to the base.”

Boy wondered if he’d come home to find the dining table covered in pieces of bats and broken knives from them trying to mash the two together. Toby’s attempt would be a knife duct taped to the handle, Eyeless would have some meticulous contraption with locks and gears and switches. BEN would just make a taser. 

He was distracted from the continuing talk about weapons hidden inside larger weapons when his head jerked back again, but instead of being quickly released this time he found himself stuck. The bad angle meant he couldn’t see precisely what Jeff was doing but it sounded like he was sawing through Boy’s hair with a kitchen knife. Fucking felt like it too.

Boy’s head fell forward when the pressure finally let up, and he struggled to turn around to see what the fuck had happened. Jeff had a chunk of matted black hair wrapped around his fist and his beloved knife in his other hand. “You fucker!”

“Brush your fucking hair!”

Boy ran a hand over what remained, relieved to find it still hit his shoulders. Not too bad really, though it would poof up a bit more now that he’d lost about half the mass. He could tell one side was a couple inches shorter than the other and that was annoying but fixable.

“That hurt! Couldn’t you have used some fucking scissors?”

“Sure, because I always carry a pair in my back pocket.” Jeff forced him to turn back around and face the fire. It was much easier to get the comb through Boy’s much shorter hair now. With less tangles came less yanking and it started to feel a lot more soothing. 

Boy leaned his cheek against Jeff’s knee and sighed. His scalp throbbed but it was a temporary hurt and would fade quickly. Now he could relax and enjoy the warmth from the fire and enjoy the break from the insanity. And finish his breakfast.

“When are you guys leaving?”

“When we get to the sanitorium, or soon after. The journalists are getting close and we need to look the place over for weak points. It's been abandoned for decades and I don’t want to end up in the basement cause I didn’t know there was a hole in the floor.”

Masky answered instead of Jeff, and Boy could just imagine the scowl on his bigger-but-not-biggest brother’s face. Jeff wasn’t a stalker though, nor did he like to leave his prey alive, both of which were important for the coming hunt.

Every now and then the prey had to be allowed to escape after all, else there wouldn’t be a way to get the stories of Slender Man and his killer Proxies out into the world. Each of the boys at one point or another had to leave some sort of evidence behind to let people know they were still out in the world, lurking in the darkness. Waiting. Killing.

This was to be Boy’s debut too, something that needed to be done before a Wizard came calling. Harry had salted his little ‘art books’ throughout the library at Hogwarts and had seen them in the hands of various students during the year. _Someone_ was going to be stupid enough to attempt the ritual, even if it was just a dare from friends because it sounded silly. Boy needed to be established among the normal people first because it would serve as the frame for the trickier Wizard myths.

Hopefully Boy hadn’t gotten too rusty in his hunting skills... Suddenly all the sheep chasing made a lot more sense to him in that regard. The sheep wasn’t just for a good meal, but also to give Boy some practice before the main event. Genius. While gutting a human was going to be a trifle different from cracking open a sheep, the whole chasing and guiding towards a trap was eerily similar. Right on down to the panicked shrieking if Boy remembered it right. 

The soothing strokes of the comb running through his newly de-tangled hair was suddenly irritating. Boy turned his head and snapped at Jeff’s fingers with a growl. He got a good smack upside the head for it but Jeff stopped. Didn’t let Boy wander off just yet though, Jeff wrapping his arms around Boy’s shoulders and resting his chin on Boy’s head. 

Boy was trapped inside the slightly-too-tight hold and no matter how he squirmed it didn’t seem likely he’d be turned loose any time soon.

“How are we getting to the sanitorium?” 

“Walking. It’ll only take an hour or so which is why we camped here. Close enough that we can high-tail it over if the nosey pests suddenly got a fire under their tails, far enough to not accidentally run into anyone.”

Masky was in the middle of a growth spurt and had not only devoured everything on his plate, but was now freely eating off of Boy’s since the smallest Proxy had his arms pinned down. Masky was swiftly heading towards his twenties which meant Hoody wouldn’t be far behind. Looking at his eldest brother, Boy had a sudden realization that completely sidelined his questions about the hunt.

“He’s _short_!”

Masky’s eyebrows went up and Boy clarified quickly. “Jeff is short! He’s shorter than Liu and Liu is shorter than you and-”

Boy’s sentence ended in a squeak as Jeff tightened his grip. 

“ _Shut_ the _fuck_ up.”

The resulting scuffle did get Boy turned loose, and it did wake everyone up, especially when Toby fell into the fire and toasted his ass, but the ruckus was quickly squashed by Masky as he started shoving people in this direction and that with a heavy hand.

“Toby, take down the tents if you’re done eating. Liu, get rid of the Kelpie. Jeff, put the fire out you grumpy asshole. Boy, get your bag and have Hoody check it over. I swear to god you all will make my hair go gray one of these days.. Eyeless! Go tell Laughing Jack that we’re leaving! Shake him out of his box if he doesn’t respond. It’s like herding cats around here.. “

When Voldie gave a cranky hiss, Masky grabbed the snake by the snout and said “I will nail your ass to the door if you wanna get sassy with _me_.”

Voldie silently allowed Toby put him in the truck. There was a box with a heated blanket plugged into the cigarette lighter anyways, far better than grunt work.


	3. Run

Boy was never going to live this down. 

Fingers clamped over his nose to stop the bleeding, Boy glared at his brothers as they leaned into each other. Hoody had gone silent he was laughing so hard, while Masky was doing his best to stifle the sound and try to act like the lead Proxy he was. 

“It.. takes some.. Getting used to.”

No shit. Slender-vision was the worst. The buzzing in the back of Boy’s head made him itch and the occasional cold-brain-touch of Slender looking through his eyes was bizarre, but the wonky vision itself was leading Boy to walk face first into trees and that was just fucking hilarious wasn’t it.

It was also giving Boy a migraine as the two sets of lights warred with each other. His red eye was stubbornly continuing to show him the spots of electricity and Proxy haze, while his left eye was showing him hot spots. Masky and Hoody looked normal when nearby, but if they went behind a rock or a tree they flared up a bright red and yellow like fire. Plants were a sort of greenish haze but not the ones he could see directly. 

Hence the bloody nose.

And the wheezing sounds as Hoody got himself under control. 

Wiping at his eyes under his cloth mask, “don’t worry my little Duck, it’ll get even better once it gets dark. Let’s just hope the cryptozoologists wait until morning to show up or you’re in for a hell of an adventure.”

“I hope you fall through a floor,” Boy muttered. It came out a little funny thanks to his fingers over his nose, but Hoody graciously didn’t comment. Boy let go of his nose and sniffled lightly, the bleeding seemed to have finally stopped. He wiped his hand off on his hoody and looked around. 

The campsite was much smaller and lonelier without the rest of the group, merely a tiny fire and a couple blankets on the ground. It was on the ground floor of the Sanitorium, in a room that had lost an outer wall facing the forest. It was supposed to look like they’d been there a while so Boy had cheerfully decorated the remaining walls with soot and rabbit blood handprints, sigils, and the Slender Man in full glory on the biggest wall. Little easter eggs if the Journalists actually investigated.

The tree Boy had run face-first into had been the reason for the wall to fall in, pushed over in a storm and knocking the stones all over the floor. Branches criss-crossed the gap for a serviceable camouflage, a few tied back to leave a doorway.The branches couldn’t be cut away since the marks would have shown up too shiny and new for their purposes.

There was a trickling stream nearby for water, a roof over their head, and plenty of plump rabbits in the forest. It was a pretty good campsite all in all. 

If it wasn’t for all the damned lights messing with Boy’s equilibrium.

Masky finally solved the problem by tearing long strips off a spare shirt. “C’mere.” 

The rough eye patch to cover his ‘Wizard Eye’ was going to get annoying real fast, but it helped to only have one set of strangeness going on. And now Boy was a pirate. Arrr!

“Now what?”

“Now we wait.”

“And run into more trees,” Hoody snickered.

Boy flipped him off. He didn’t even have Mimi to talk to, the fire snake was on her way back to the Castle with Eyeless. Voldie better not try to eat her or there’d be hell to pay. Toby had been acting very suspicious with a water bottle when the group had split, what was that all about? He was up to something. Toby was always up to something.

Oh yeah, while Boy was out he really needed to find some sort of public phone to call Justin. Surely he’d be back home and able to go sneaking soon, he’d say mid-August to be on the safe side. Taking the bus to the Wizarding district was going to be the easiest part of the process.

Tugging on the ends of his shortened ponytail, Boy debated with himself very, very briefly before taking in a deep breath.

“Are they here yet?”

“Toby,” Masky decided later, as he dangled Boy by his ankle over the side of the staircase inside the building, “has been a very bad influence on you.”

Boy had come this close to making it to the second floor before getting caught but the older boys were both much taller than him and weighed a hell of a lot more. That should have meant they were slower by the laws of physics, but not in this case. Or Boy wasn’t remembering his science lessons correctly. Either way he was looking down at the ground from a good distance away.

“If you drop me I won’t be able to help!”

“Mmmm…” Masky hefted him higher in the air as he pretended to consider the facts. “I dunno, little troublemakers like you might just get in the way of things.”

Honestly it was impressive how easily Masky could hold him up in the air for several minutes without having a problem. Boy could feel all the blood rushing to his head and start to ring in his ears. “I’ll be good, solemn oath!”

“Yeah right.”

“Hey Boss, I think the weirdos are here.” 

Boy craned his head around to see Hoody where he was standing by the broken railing of the second floor, arms folded across the rusted metal. “How can you tell?”

Hoody raised a finger and pointed down.

Masky had to swing Boy to the left a bit to see, but the journalists had indeed arrived and were staring with big round eyes at the spectacle. One slowly raised her camera and took a picture.

Hoody flashed them a peace sign.

“Well… shit.”

 

=============

 

“You _dropped_ me!”

“You recovered.”

“You DROPPED me!”

“Good thing you can fly, eh little Duck?”

“It was more of a controlled fall than flying..”

Boy growled at the pair of them. His fifteen foot drop had been cushioned, true, because Boy had learned to slow down his falls after Toby had dropped him off a roof when he’d been a baby. However, being held upside down before being dropped to the cold, hard ground meant it had only slightly worked as Boy tried to remember which way was up. 

He’d not cracked his skull, but Boy was going to spend the entire trip with a bloody nose he just knew it. His mouthguard was soaked, the white bones painted on the black fabric turning different shades of rust.

“My face is going to start looking like a squashed tomato,” Boy muttered. 

“It doesn’t already?” Hoody reached over to give Boy’s nose a tweak and got his hand slapped away.

Masky was doing a slow spin, looking for the bright spots that would be their prey. The initial scare had gone great, the journalists had fled as fast as their expensive sneakers could take them once the older Proxies had attacked. 

‘Attacked’. 

An actual capture wasn’t the plan after all, far too early to do anything but scare. The longer the game played out the more energy Slender would get out of it. Kind of like a battery-charge Boy assumed. And because a quick kill was out of the question, Boy had had all his weapons confiscated. 

Right down to his tiny pocket knife.

“Who could I kill with THAT?” Boy whined, trying to snatch it back. 

“I’m sure you of all people would find a way, oh disciple of Chaos and Mayhem. No. Weapons.”

“You guys have weapons!”

“ _We_ know the meaning of restraint.”

Hoody coughed a little, looking down to examine his fingernails as Masky turned. “Don’t worry Boss, I’ll keep an eye on the little Duck.”

“Ahuh.” Masky didn’t look (sound) like he believed a single syllable of that promise but what could he do. “You two go around to the back of the building and wait there. When you see the journalists scare them towards the boathouse, they’ll need the sigil there before they go down the trail.”

“Hopefully they got the one off the front gate.”

Masky scoffed. “If they didn’t then they’re blind as bats. It’s a white piece of paper pinned to a black iron fence.”

“Just sayin’. So boathouse, then the trail to the gardens? We can thump them around a teensy weensy bit after that right?”

“Bruising _only_. No broken bones, no major cuts. They’ll need to get to the far end in one piece to meet Slender. After that it’s up to him how much tormenting you can do.” Masky pinched Boy’s cheek between a pair of fingers. “Maybe if you’re a good little brat he’ll let you kill one of them.”

Boy tried to bite him but the mouthguard protected more than just his face, the wretched fabric. “You said this would be fun!”

“Get a move on. If they head down the trail before we’re ready Slender himself will beat your ass.”

Boy stuck his tongue out before turning to follow Hoody around the building, skulking along the walls of the abandoned asylum to stay out of sight of the prey heat-spots. It wasn’t hard. 

Boy yawned.“How much of this is going to be ‘Hurry Up and Wait’?”

“Most of it, since it’s a bit of a special case. We can’t always be out having fun, little Duck, we do need to get some actual work done at times. Still better than working fast-food. Next time will be far more interesting, and I assume in your case, bloodier.”

“Stop calling me Duck. You haven't called me Duck in years.”

“No.”

The hardest part, other than the No Killing rule, was making sure to let the journalists get a picture now and then between scares. It meant that the Proxies had to give some sort of warning that they were nearby, usually by talking loudly (Boy had whined to his heart’s content in those moments until he realized he sounded _exactly_ like Draco) or by planting themselves in a wide space to be noticed. 

Boy felt so stupid. This was stupid. This went against all his training and he didn’t like it. Even if it did mean he had special permission to call Masky and Hoody by their real names, something usually avoided like the plague.

“Briannnnn….” 

“Harrleeeeey…” Hoody mocked. 

“I’m booooored.”

“Yanno, when we return you to your brothers, I’m going to tell them exactly how spoiled you are.”

Boy flailed his arms around. They were standing in the middle of a clearing (check) talking loudly about their plans (check) and Boy could see their guests hiding behind a large clump of rocks to the left (check).

“At least they know how to have fun!”

“Liu? Fun? Hold your tongue.”

“ _Jeff_ knows how to have fun. I wanna go home. This is stupid.”

Boy crossed his arms over his chest and tried not to mutter. He was, in this moment, just a kid who wanted to go home because the babysitters were boring. Jeff and Liu were going to be familiar names to anyone who followed the horror legends, making ‘Harley’ an unknown third Woods brother. A much younger brother if one considered the timeline, which Boy never did because it gave him a headache at the best of times.

“I’m pawning you off on Masky when we find him. You’re cramping my style, Woods.”

It was.. kind of like a play? They had their assigned roles and lines, so it wasn’t exactly hard. It might have felt awkward and contrived but it was the best plan the older boys could come up with AND had Slender’s approval. No one would know until later if any of this actually worked because prey could be awfully stupid at times. Really needed their noses rubbed into it.

 

===========

 

“Who _are_ you?”

His beloved Beater Bat finally in hand, Boy grinned down at the gasping man. Too bad his facemask covered the expression.. The strip of fabric covering his red eye had gotten pulled off in the struggle, but Boy was soundly perched on the man’s chest now and they were both bathed in the eerie red glow. The woman had skedaddled during the fuss, which the man had obviously intended, but that was just fine since she’d been the one holding the camcorder.

A bat to the kneecaps solved so many problems, especially with a following whack to the belly. The man had crumpled to the ground and Boy had been able to pounce.

“Me? Just another Lost Boy out looking for an adventure. Too bad your girlfriend got away, but I’m sure we’ll find her later and make sure she knows who she’s messing with.” Boy couldn’t help the giggle, it was just too amusing. “Now say Goodnight Gracie!”

The angle didn’t let Boy get a proper swing in, so he grasped the bat by the middle and brought the rounded end down hard into the man’s face. Again. And again. There was something so intensely satisfying about the sound of breaking bone after having to wait. The gush of bright red blood. The colors, the smells, the writhing muscles as the spirit left the body in a flood of pain and fear.

It was perfect.

Boy leaned forward and lapped at the bloody mess that used to be a face. His brothers could take care of the woman, silently flanking her and making sure she headed in the right direction as she fled the area. They’d make sure she didn’t drop the camcorder or trip and break her fucking neck. 

By the time Masky and Hoody got back to the placement of the final act, Boy and his clothes were drenched nearly head to toe in blood and he was licking it off his fingers contentedly.

“...did Eyeless ever get around to that sex talk?” Hoody wondered.

Masky groaned. “Fucking hell.”


	4. Boys are Weird

Things happened much sooner than anyone had suspected, so Boy guessed getting the Journalists dealt with right away had actually been a good thing after all. It had felt so rushed at the time ..

Slender had informed them at dinner that he was going to be away for the night, that he’d been called by the first Wizard. That had caused a stir among the boys, since the potential of much more challenging prey was of course going to be exciting. Except, none of them were allowed to come along this time.

“Awwww… but Masky…!” 

Masky’s voice went strangely echoey as he relayed the staticy message into crystal clear words. “We don’t know what the Wizards will do in this sort of situation, nor do we know how their magic will react against Slender.” Masky shook himself before adding in his normal tone, “we don’t want to end up as the ones who brought knives to a gunfight.” 

Alright they had a good point there, and no one was going to argue with Slender Man himself. Didn’t make it any less disappointing, just slightly more understandable. 

Then the sun went down and all hell broke loose.

The clan was normally a bit hyped up when Slender went hunting on his own, the energy getting spread out among the boys as Slender collected.. whatever it was he collected. Sanity. Life force. The very air would crackle with it and the boys would be unable to sit still and the roughhousing would get a whole lot rougher. When Masky, Hoody, and Boy had played around with the journalist, it had been like having an extra cup of strong coffee.

This though, was more like shotgunning a couple bottles of 3-hour energy drinks at once.

Toby kept losing track of his sentences and gnawed on his fingers like they were candy. Liu had put three bullets in Laff’s chest when the clown popped up next to him and startled him. Boy thought he was going to jitter right out of his skin and the knives were starting to look awfully tempting towards cutting the feeling out.

The boys quickly took to the roof to release some of the pent up energy.

The only rule they could agree on was-‘Don’t Hold Back’.

Boy heard a bullet graze by his head but he stayed focused on catching BEN as the ghost bolted through a wall. Boy jumped and pulled himself up and over the broken barrier and kept chasing. 

“Dammit Ben, play fair!”

BEN just laughed at him, the fucker. 

Boy ran right by Masky who had Jeff in a chokehold, nearly tripping over Jeff’s butcher knife as it fell to the ground. Going by the blood spreading down Masky’s side he’d been slashed only moments earlier, but was too ramped up on Slender’s magic to stop and deal with it. It’d be healed by dawn of course, unless he got slashed again, everything moved at lightning speed during these events.

Boy couldn’t imagine how any of them would survive the night without that healing boost.

It was just before sunrise when things finally calmed down. Boy collapsed where he’d been standing, feeling every scrape and stab wound with a sudden clarity that left him breathless. BEN, over-powered asshole that he was, didn’t have any marks to worry about but he’d gone as transparent as a thick window pane. The ghost sank through the roof-tiles with a tired wave and Boy knew he’d go hibernate in the T.V. for a while. No more than a couple days.

Feeling a cold breeze on his stomach, Boy looked down to find his hoody had three very long rips right over the belly. He didn’t even remember running into Laughing Jack during the night.. Huh. His skin underneath was pink with three long scratches and it was a wild guess if that meant Laff had barely touched him or if Boy had already healed.

He staggered back up to his feet and went looking for his brothers. The first two he found were oddly clumped together, in a way that they usually avoided. Jeff was all but curled up in Liu’s lap, draped over his legs like a bloodied dishrag in his stained hoody. Liu was leaning over him and poking at his shoulder, digging out a bullet with a pocket knife through a hole in the fabric. 

Jeff was too tired to do more than growl at Boy as he slumped down next to Liu under the only intact Gargoyle on the property. 

“Seen Toby?”

“He fell through the floor last I saw. I’m not sure he ever made it back or if Hoody trapped him down there.”

Liu used his sleeve to soak up the blood, needing to see what he was doing with the knife tip. He was rewarded with a shiny bullet after a little more digging and he tucked it into his pocket. He pressed his hand down over the hole in a lazy attempt to stop the bleeding long enough for Jeff to heal. 

“S’this gunna happen all the time?”

“We’ll have to wait and see. This is Slender’s first Wizard and we can’t assume anything just yet. Can’t say I look forward to the next one if that’s the case.” Liu yawned widely. “Anyways, we’ll have to wait a few days for Slender to calm down, then Masky can get some details out of him.”

Liu had chosen a good spot to rest, the gargoyle’s wings were spread out impressively over the three of them and blocked the light as the sun slowly rose. Boy wiggled closer, putting his head on Liu’s shoulder with a yawn.

It wasn’t often that he could sit with both Woods without someone trying to start a fight. It was nice.

“Everything hurts.”

“We just spent nearly eight hours chasing each other across the Castle, I’d be concerned if you weren’t sore.”

“Toby won’t be,” Boy sulked.

“Toby has Masky and Hoody to keep an eye on him. If he’s sprained something they’ll chuck him into his closet of a room and lock him in till he’s healed.”

“Is that why Masky ties him to the bed?”

“. . .no.”

Jeff started snickering, face pressed into Liu’s leg. His own hoody had the same claw marks across his back that Boy’s did but he hadn’t healed nearly as much yet. Boy was pretty sure he could see the muscles moving as Jeff laughed. 

“Shut up, Jeff. As if you can say anything,” Liu rolled his eyes. He ran his hands over the slashes crossing Jeff’s lower back, digging his nails in and ripping the wounds open again, making Jeff’s snickers twist into curses. 

Boy huffed. “It’s a sex thing isn’t it. Like Laff picking fights with Jeff.”

“You could say that.” Liu had a faint smile on his face and that was just as unusual as Jeff being willing to stay sprawled across his legs while muttering. Boy sighed and curled his aching body closer and let his eyes close. Masky was going to make them stay up all day to continue the daytime schedule, but taking a moment to relax wouldn’t harm anyone.

The sky was getting lighter and lighter as it officially became morning. The birds were waking up and getting noisy.

“....how do Jeff and Laff have sex? Laff doesn’t have a penis.”

Liu’s startled laughter made Boy open his eyes. Jeff was still for a few more seconds before he started heaving himself up to his feet. However, Liu’s fingers digging into the open marks on his back made him abort almost immediately. 

“Dammit l don’t have the energy for this. Wasn’t Eyeless supposed to talk to you about this shit? Go find Eyeless!” 

“He gave me a book to start me off. He said things get complicated real fast but the basics are pretty simple and I can ask for more details later. The book says sex is penetration of one person's body by the other person's genitals, but that doesn’t explain why Masky ties up Toby or why you need stitches after foreplay.”

“Oh my fucking god..”

Liu was downright _giggling_ now. Boy assumed it was the exhaustion coming through, because it wasn’t that weird of a question! Nobody exactly tried to hide when they were masturbating or having sex, though they did avoid doing it in front of Boy. And now, even though they’d spent all that time teasing him about getting The Talk, no one wanted to actually give him details.

His brothers could be so infuriating. Maybe it was Boy’s age?

“Laff’s a puppet isn’t he? An animated puppet? That’s why he leaks sand and Eyeless has to use superglue whenever Laff breaks his nose. How does he have sex without blood to fuel an erection?”

Only Liu’s nails continuing to dig into Jeff’s back kept him in place, writhing and complaining, but in place. Pissed off enough that his breathing was getting a bit ragged, but Boy could understand that- Jeff hated to be pinned down. 

“Laughing Jack doesn’t have any genitals, true, but he has a mouth and hands that Jeff seems to enjoy quite a bit. Don’t you, brother?” 

Boy side-eyed Liu as the last bit came out in a purr. There was something going on here that was just out of range of Boy’s understanding and that was irritating. He was too tired and achy for this nonsense. “So all that bickering and fighting is for a handjob?”

“Mmm… I suppose so.”

Definitely something going on here. “Fine I’ll just ask Eyeless later.”

“Good idea.”

Boy sulked, but decided it wasn’t worth the aggravation of prying for more information. He settled into a light doze as Liu continued to pet Jeff’s back, fingers running along the open claw marks and keeping them open. The bullet wound he left alone to heal, but the long still-bleeding cuts seemed fair game for some reason. 

It had to be painful, Jeff was gasping for air and holding himself tensely.

Liu jostled his shoulder suddenly, making Boy sit up. “Why don’t you go find the rest of our band of merry psychopaths, and see if anything is being planned for breakfast? Remind Eyeless that we need to go shopping and to make a list.”

Boy’s whine didn’t soften any hearts, he was elbowed roughly until he was forced to get to his feet. “Rude bastard… Fine. But I won’t be nice about it!” 

“Never assumed you would be. Go.”

With one last glare to both his stupid brothers, Boy stomped off. Just because he was the youngest didn’t mean they should be able to boss him around all the time! Go do this! Go do that! It wasn’t something he’d missed while at school, there he got to boss other people around. No one dared boss around the Boy Who Lived or the Dark Lord’s Heir! Unless you were Susan but she was scary.

Muttering to himself all the way across the roof to where it broke up over the lower floors, Boy dropped down and continued his search. BEN would be in the T.V. room, Laff would have tucked himself into his box by now, so that left.. four. 

All of which could be found in the kitchen. Toby was pinned to the table with Masky at his head and Hoody at his feet while Eyeless carefully pried a chunk of wood out of his guts. Pinned, because Toby couldn’t feel the damage the post had done and he kept getting distracted and would start squirming all over again. 

“Did he fall onto a tree?”

“Close. Broken bedpost. Guess we should do another roof-check for weak spots.” Hoody had an impressively large bruise down the side of his face, from the cheekbone curling down to and under his jaw. Looked like he’d dislocated it during the night, popping the jaw hinge back into place must have hurt like a bitch. His jacket was missing along with his mask, and his shirt had the same random holes and cuts as everyone else did. 

“Nooo! It adds more fun to not know if something’s about to break!” Toby complained loudly.

Masky leaned over Toby’s face for an upside down glare. “Getting gutted by Jeff should be enough excitement for you. Getting gutted because you fell through the ceiling is just stupid.”

“Bah. Logic makes me break out into hives. Do we have any honey?”

“Hey, you,” Hoody snapped the fingers of his free hand at Boy until the little Proxy looked over. “Your bat is on the second floor landing where Toby dropped it. Good work with the lead, that sucker cracked three of my ribs. Much better than the last one.”

Boy beamed. His first bat had had plugs of lead, the wood drilled out and the lead hammered in. It had been heavy and workable, but it hadn’t been perfect. His new bat had been completely cored down the center and the cavity filled in. Weighed a ton but didn’t need that much force to do some serious fucking damage.

Boy was so proud. He oiled it every night and kept the wood gleaming and silky smooth. He’d been tempted to name it but that would have been going too far.

“Thanks, I’ll grab it later. Liu wants to know what we’re doing for breakfast, and to remind Eyeless we have to go shopping.”

Eyeless nodded. He wasn’t looking down into the hole in Toby’s abdomen, he was using his extremely sensitive fingers to go feel over the various organs to find the random splinters of wood. He’d be able to find all the tiny tears and holes far better than anyone using their mere eyes. “I’ll take stock of what we have when I’m done here. It’s not too bad overall, just a few pieces left behind.” 

The household went through so many shirts and hoodies. Used as rags for bloodied hands after a makeshift surgery, torn to shreds in brawls.. Boy himself was on his third jacket of the summer and it was barely halfway over! Even Jeff’s preferred white hoodies were permanently stained a faint rust on the bottom hems and sleeve cuffs no matter how often they got bleached.

“Alright Toby, you’re almost free. Don’t pick at the bandage until it’s healed up, and don’t pick at the wound. Actually, where’s the duct tape…” 

Can’t pick at something if you couldn’t get to it under a thick layer of sticky tape. 

Only then did Masky allow Toby to sit up, yanking his shirt down over the silvery corset. “If I catch you messing around with it I’ll beat you black and blue.”

“You did that last night,” was the cheerful reply. “Hardly a threat now.”

Masky cuffed him upside the head. “Now that that’s finished… where is Liu anyways? I know everyone is tired after last night, but we have things to do. No one better be taking a nap.”

Boy shrugged a shoulder, deciding now was the time to check the fridge for a snack since no one seemed interested in breakfast. “On the roof still, with Jeff. His back is all sliced up so they’re waiting for him to heal up some more. Though I dunno how it will if Liu keeps scratching it open.”

Oooo they had oranges! Boy nabbed one, then a second one to stuff in his pocket, and turned around in time to see Masky and Hoody making motions at each other. “..what?”

“Nothing. I’ll go get them. Give Jeff a.. hand.. if he’s still having problems. Don’t leave without me!”

Boy glared at Hoody’s back and huffed a short breath. “I’m not stupid! I know they’re being weird! Is this _another_ sex thing that no one really wants to talk about, just say I should be talked to?”

Masky scrubbed a hand over his mouth, next using the same hand to slap Toby on the back of the head as the boy pulled up his shirt to examine his taped bandages. “Yes, and no I’m not going into detail. Eyeless!”

Despite not having eyes and despite that he was wearing a mask that would cover them anyways, the eyeroll was entirely obvious. “I gave him a book, we haven't had the time to discuss any of it. Honestly, he’s thirteen. He’s not a baby any more, why are all of you so squeamish?”

“Just…” Masky waved his hand uselessly in the air. “...take care of it. Please. I merely keep track of everyone and relay Slender’s messages. You get the.. other stuff.”

“Riiiight,” Eyeless drawled. “Fine, if you’re going to put all this on my head alone, then take that rotten menace with you and check the cellar supplies. I think we’re nearly out of salt. And nails.”

“Yup. Going.” Hands went under Toby’s armpits and he was unceremoniously dragged off the table and towards the basement. “Don’t forget to ask Ben if he needs anything for the generator!”

Watching their big bad Leader flee the room, Boy hoisted himself up onto one of the counters to peel his orange. “Why is it such a big deal if it’s not a big deal? I’ve seen sex on tv. I’ve walked in on most of you at least once. Not you though, I’ve never seen you masturbate. Can you?”

“If I wanted to, but the mess hardly ever makes it worth my time. Know how my eyes leak?”

Boy knew he was going to regret this. “Yeah?”

“That’s what my semen looks like. It’s black, sticky, and stains everything it touches. A pain in the ass really, so it’s not something I do often.”

“Ah.” And then a moment later, “ew.”

“Tell me about it. Any more questions?”

“Yeah. What’s the difference between a kink and a fetish?”

“Jumping right into the deep waters then. Come on, let’s take this to the library.”


	5. Diagonally

‘Like riding a bicycle’ was such a common phrase when used towards something you never forgot. Pretty apt Boy discovered, as he dug the thing out of the shed. His bike was covered in cobwebs and crawlies but the frame was still in shape and the tires only needed some air.

Hadn’t touched it in what felt like years but his body still remembered how to balance and pedal. Harry liked his broom, he liked how fast it could go and how easy it was to move in all cardinal directions, but his bike was more like an old friend. Not that you could tell from the amount of dirt..

Boy looked back over his shoulder when he hit the end of the driveway, finding the morning silent and clear. Everyone else was hard asleep after the chaotic last few days. Jeff was almost completely healed, no thanks to Liu’s prodding, and Toby had already torn free all the duct tape on his body. Boy himself felt refreshed and ready to roll after a good night’s sleep.

He started off. He really only needed to go a few miles down the road, five or so to be safe. It was going to be just like last summer, where he planned to hide the bike under some bushes before calling the freaky bus. Unlike last summer he was more prepared- he’d left a note! Toby left notes all the time when about to wander, so Boy should be allowed to do the same. Right? Right.

With that being the case.. why was he still leaving before everyone was aware of his flight? Simply put, he didn’t want anyone tagging along. Hogwarts stuff was his to deal with and his alone. It’d be too weird taking Liu or Toby along, letting them meet his school friends. Liu was a responsible stick in the mud and Toby was… Toby. No. Bad idea all together. Toby was allowed to pick him up from the train and that was it, any extended trip was a disaster waiting to happen on all levels of society.

...while it would be kind of interesting to see if Masky and Hoody’s aura affected Wizards, it wasn’t enough for Boy to invite them along either. 

Boy had gotten used to the very little Wizard-magic around the Slender Castle. Sure, the game room and all it’s electronics still left him blinking at times, but when the Bus appeared in a cloud of brilliantly golden sparks Boy almost ran for cover. Throwing an arm up to cover his eyes, Boy hissed under his breath and dug out his coin fare one handedly.

“Where to?”

“Diagon Alley,” Harry grumbled. 

“Figures. Got a kid in the back going the same way, friend of yours perhaps?”

Harry perked right up, letting the Driver’s prattle sail right over his head. Using a hand to cover his finicky red eye, he discovered Neville perched on a bed near the back, hanging onto a bedpost for dear life as the furniture slid across the floor with every bumpy turn. 

“You made it!” Harry climbed and hopped from bed to moving bed in a game of Frogger, soon making himself at home on the foot of Neville’s chosen piece. Strangely, Neville had never looked so relieved to see him. (Other than that time Harry had almost been kidnapped in their first year by Quirrel.)

“Yeah. Gran’s going to lock me up for the rest of my life when I get back, but.. Yeah.” Neville winced a little before sitting up straighter. “ I didn’t want.. I knew you wouldn’t be reading the papers and know about Sirius Black breaking out of Azkaban. You shouldn’t be going to Diagon alone right now.”

Harry scratched his ear, twisting the black plug as he tried to place the name. “That’s the guy who betrayed the Potters isn’t it?” Or so one of the past articles had mentioned when discussing Harry’s parentage and evilness.

“And you,” Neville pointed out. “He’s the one who told V-Voldemort where to find you. And then he killed Peter Pettigrew who was another friend of your parents, when Pettigrew confronted him. And the muggles who happened to be nearby.”

“Right. So he’s loose now?”

“For almost a month now. No one knows how he did it either. The paper’s been full of people claiming they saw him all over the country, and there’s rumors that he’s heading to Hogwarts…”

“Why would he go there?”

“You. They say he was heard talking about you.” 

A madman was out looking for him? That could be fun. Something to keep him entertained during the school year. “Well he’ll have a fun time trying to get into the school. That place is supposed to the safest place in England, or so everyone says. And it’s _summer_.”

“After seeing you sneaking around every time you get bored, I find it hard to believe that anyone thinks Hogwarts is safe.” Neville shook his head. Harry had managed to get away with things no one should have been able to, Hogwarts security was awful. “It’s not going to be pretty at school, people are going to be watching you closely..”

Harry flapped a hand at him. Details, details. “People are always watching me. I’ll just keep ignoring them like I’ve been doing. Where are we meeting the rest of the class anyways? No one ever mentioned a time so I just assumed early in the day.”

“Umm.. We were supposed to meet at Fortescue's for ice cream around nine, but the papers have been really bad lately as they tried to guess what Black was doing right now. Hannah’s parents don’t want her wandering Diagon, and Ernie’s in the same boat. Susan tried to volunteer her Aunt to supervise us, but then Madame Bones got pulled in by the Minister to help look for Black. Sooo..”

“So?”

“So it’s just us. Like I said, I knew you wouldn’t know and no one could tell you things got canceled. I kind of just.. decided I’d come anyways.”

“Even with Black running about?”

“Yeah. You needed someone to watch your back. You’re so _reckless_.”

Harry was impressed. Hardly any stuttering and while a little pale with a couple worry wrinkles between his eyebrows, Neville looked fine. Confident even. How much of that was show and how much of that was real didn’t matter at all. Courage wasn’t about not being afraid, it was about being able to act in spite of it. 

With a small shrug, Harry said- “it’ll be too public anyways, lots of people in Diagon Alley. The chances of either prisoners catching us there is next to nothing. We definitely should stop and get that ice cream first, to steady our nerves.”

Neville shook his head but didn’t argue against Harry’s toothy grin. “Are we getting all your supplies today? That’s going to be a lot to carry.”

“Nah, did it all last year didn’t I? I’ll just get the shopkeepers to shrink it down and put it in my backpack. Which reminds me.” Harry pulled his robe out of his backpack. It was the least shabby of the ones he’d kept, so it would suffice for today. He noted that Neville’s robe was cut in a different style than the school robes, but they looked mostly the same. Harry had cut the school badge off the shoulder to keep from looking like a complete nerd.

It was a LOT of fun pulling the robe on over his head while sitting on constantly sliding furniture. He’d nearly have somersaulted right off at one point if it wasn’t for Neville grabbing his arm. Tugging his curly ponytail free of the collar, Harry spread his arms out. 

“Ta dah!”

“Well done, you can dress yourself as good as any four year old,” Neville responded dryly. 

Harry stuck his tongue out.

“I hope you brought your list?”

“Yeeeesssss…Stop being such a killjoy Nev. Today is for having FUN. Who cares about a couple prisoners when we have Diagon to ourselves?” Harry was already digging through his backpack though and waved the mentioned list pointedly. “New robes, new textbooks, potions kit, parchment, quills, blah blah blah. I wanna talk to the guys at the broomshop too, I have questions. Mimi needs a new cage so I want to see what we can find at the rummage shop too.”

“Bet you’ll find something cursed and it’ll try to eat you. You have all the worst luck.”

“You mean I have the _best_ luck.”

Robe shopping was a hell of a lot faster when one didn’t have to worry about a little old biddy. Harry was in and out in a flash. All he wanted was enough robes to last the school year, all the same style and color and they just needed to be short enough to not trip him while leaving room for (fingers crossed) a growth spurt.. 

He did sort of, kind of, let Neville talk him into getting some dragonhide boots. It wasn’t very hard. Harry’s beloved steel toes pinched his feet now and he’d had to trade them in for some cheap sneakers. The dragonhide boots were covered in sleek black scales, and they had a subtle bit of heel to aid him in his quest for MORE HEIGHT DAMMIT. They were pretty nice honestly. Slightly snobby perhaps but Harry knew no one would notice his shiny boots with his sparkling personality to distract them. 

( He had grown over the year, the marks cut into the doorway at home was proof enough of that, but so had Neville. While Harry’s head no longer drew even with Neville’s nose, Harry was still running behind in that department and went only as high as Neville’s eyebrows.)

“You sure you want to go to the Quidditch store?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“I think a new broom’s come out. Looks a little busy.”

“Mmmm..” It did look a little too crowded for Harry’s tastes. But it also looked like most of the crowd was outside. “Let’s chance it. I want to ask if I can drill through the handle without making the whole thing fly wonky.”

“Why would you even chance that happening?”

“I want to add straps for my feet.”

Harry snickered at the perplexed look on Neville’s face. “I want to be able to stand on the handle, but I thought that would give people a heartattack and decided I should add some straps that I can put my feet into. For _safety_.”

“Your version of safe is terrifying. As usual.”

“It’ll be fun and you know it.” Harry could just see it now.. Standing on the broom and cloud surfing. Couldn’t be that much different from a skateboard right? Other than skateboards were feet-propelled. Wind resistance might be a little tricky, but that’s what made these things fun! Sorting through all the problems and hammering the wrinkles flat!

Harry only needed to know if putting a couple nails through the broom handle would affect it too badly. Best find that out now before he wasted the time and energy. Or fell out of the sky from a hundred feet up, that would probably traumatize a few kids from ever playing Quidditch again.

He just wasn’t expecting to have to buy a whole new goddamn broom to get answers out of the guy. Ehh… it was shiny. Not like Harry had to worry about paying for college anyways, so why not splurge a little. This way too, if he messed up one broom he could just mangle the other. Perfect!

“Do you think Draco has one?” tucking the long package under an arm. Great, he was going to have to carry the damn thing around all day now. 

Neville cleared his throat. “I don’t think so? His dad just bought all those brooms for the team last year so.. I can’t see him getting a brand new one so soon. Especially that one. You aren’t seriously going to drill holes into a _Firebolt_ are you?” 

He’d nearly swallowed his tongue when Harry had oh so casually offered to by the broom in the window if the Shopkeeper would just answer his fucking questions. A few drops of blood and a key imprint later.. Harry was the proud owner of a Firebolt, newest and fastest and best on the market. 

Good Lord.

“I’ll practice on the other one if it’ll make you feel better?”

“Augh…”

Harry made sure to snag a newspaper in the bookshop. He didn’t have to dig deep to find news about the Azkaban breakout, it was splashed across the front page along with the persisting rumors of Harry being a Lestrange. There were several photos of Bellatrix in the paper again, and she was definitely one of the best looking of insane women Harry had seen. Normal female psychotics were seriously lacking in style, but wizarding women seemed to have a few advantages normal women didn’t.

Blah blah seen in London. Blah blah worst of the Death Eaters. Blah blah Longbottoms, Hogwarts Potters.. Harry had seen more amusing articles written on his tendency for breaking rules. He shrugged and folded the paper, shoving it into his backpack. Looking up, Harry stopped in his tracks to stare at the giant cage in the bookstore window. Now THAT looked far more promising.

“What are _those_?”

“The new text for Care of Magical Creatures. I had to wrap the one Gran ordered me in rope after it ate my potions book.”

“I want one.”

Neville didn’t bat an eye as Harry peered through the window and made more I-want noises. Considering he was holding Harry’s _Firebolt_ under an arm so that Harry could browse the paper, a book was not going to phase him. “You’re not even taking that class!”

“LOOK at them Nev!”

“What if it eats your sketchbooks?”

Harry whined. “But.. but… _Nev_ … It’s a monster book of monsters! I have to have one. I need it.”

Neville eyed the cage, watching pages fly through the air like confetti. “You can have mine?” He’d no idea what he was going to do with the text after the class was over, merely trashing it would have been kind of mean. But a book that ate other books wasn’t the best thing to store in a library. “If you’re allowed to have one that is.”

At Harry’s blank expression- “you live with Muggles. I’m not sure you’d be allowed to take it home since it would be hard to hide.”

“Fuck the muggles!”

“Shhhhh!” Neville looked around but no one seemed to be paying them any mind. It reminded him of the train station a little, how nobody seemed to really notice the infamous Harry Potter was around. “You can have mine. I just need it for class every once in a while.”

“...fine.”

Harry grinned some more as he watched the monster books. He’d have to wait till Christmas now to show his brothers, but it was so going to be worth it. They were awesome! And toothy!

While taking a break for lunch (ice cream) when Harry had a sudden thought. “How did you know when to be on the bus? I could have called it later. Or earlier. How did you manage to pick the exact time I was going to call it?”

Neville shrugged. “I didn’t. I got on a little before dawn and wasn’t going to get off until I saw you. Or it got too late and you weren’t coming either for some reason. I had the time to waste really, Gran’s grounded me from the Greenhouses for being obstinate and talking back.”

“Huh. Glad it worked out for you.”

“I’m glad you decided to pick an early time.”

The broom turned out to be an awkward purchase by the end of the afternoon, even if it had been worth it at the time. Should Harry truly try to turn his older broom into a surfing broom, those had been really important questions! However, it couldn’t be shrunk down with all the safety charms heaped on it, so Harry was forced to continue carrying it as it was - an obnoxiously long bundle that was heavier at one end than the other. It was time to catch the bus and head home which meant leaving the Alley through the Leaky Cauldron and looking for a quiet spot to bring out a wand.

“You could have vaulted it at Gringotts.”

“What if I needed it for my project?”

“Please don’t try to modify the Firebolt.”

Harry whined. “But that’s what I bought it for, and-”

Neville looked over curiously as Harry stopped dead in the middle of his sentence. “Harry?” Following Harry’s line of sight, Neville noticed a muggle leaned up against one of the wheeled contraptions that they used to get around. In a voice much deeper than either of theirs-

“Hey boys, having fun?”

“Ummm…”

Shit. He'd left a note dammit!


	6. Growing Pains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have been updated, heed my warning! I also just want to point out that Boy is thirteen and Liu is frozen at sixteen, so if that's going to be a concern maybe wait for the next chapter?

The atmosphere in the car was stifling.

The last time Boy had tried to say something he’d been curtly told “shut up,” so he sat quietly in the passenger seat staring out the window. He couldn’t figure out what he’d done wrong. Sure he’d left the castle grounds but.. He’d left a note! Toby left all the time with notes about being off on an adventure.

It wasn’t fair.

Harry had managed to pack Neville off onto the magic bus without too much of a problem, doing an awkward little dance to keep between Neville and Masky the whole time. It had taken some assuring to get Neville to leave, he didn’t seem to want to leave Harry alone with this stranger (to him) who wasn’t even doing anything but still managed to be intimidating. The more Neville stalled, the more anxious Harry would get, the more Neville would stall..

Boy wasn’t sure his heart could take such stress. 

It shouldn’t have been stressful though, it was just Neville meeting his eldest brother. Nothing to be concerned about. It was all cool. Big Bro, this is my best friend. Neville, this is my eldest brother. 

It should have been easy.

Instead, Harry had freaked out. No other way to put it. Harry had freaked out and in turn had freaked Neville out and now Boy was stuck in the car with a Masky who wouldn’t look at him much less speak to him. It was just one day of spending time with the Wizards, not like Boy was going to go soft on people all of a sudden..

“Whatever it is that’s running through your scrambled-egg brain right now is wrong, I’m not upset that you want to see the friends you made at school.”

“But.. they’re gunna be prey aren’t they? I shouldn’t get attached.” 

Masky frowned. He didn’t answer right away, giving Boy enough time to settle into a sulk before he was suddenly pulling over to the side of the road. Turning the car off, Masky shifted in his seat to partially face Boy, one arm braced on the window ledge. 

“You’ve spent most of the last two years surrounded by normal kids, it was bound to happen. Nor do we intend for you to spend the next few years entirely miserable, so go ahead and make friends. Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it later on when the time comes. It’ll hurt, maybe a lot, but that’s life. I’m fond of my birds but that doesn’t stop me from turning them into fried chicken does it?”

“You guys got mad about it last year! I ran the gauntlet for hours! It was awful!”

“We were mad because you _ran off_. You didn’t tell anyone where you were going, nobody knew if you’d be back, or if we’d have to hunt down some fucker bearing a grudge against Slender Man. _Think_. Did we ever once tell you to not spend time with your school friends?”

“No..”

“The only reason, the _only_ reason, we didn’t go straight to Slender Man last year to track you down, is that he wouldn’t have been as lenient with you. If Slender ever thought you were trying to run away from the group, he _would not_ react kindly.”

Masky leaned towards Boy, staring into his eyes intently. “So do not _ever_ try to sneak off without telling someone again. If something were to happen, with us or with you, we need to know exactly where you are.”

“I left a note. Toby is always..”

“Toby is a fully fledged Proxy of the Slender Man. That means not only is he stronger, can heal better, and move faster, he is permanently tethered to the group. I can find Toby if I need to no matter where he’s gone, no matter how far or how long, because _that’s my job_.”

“I’m a proxy too, you guys found me last Christmas when the blonde fuckwit tried to exorcise me.”

“No, Jeff found you. The rest of us had no clue. If it wasn't for your Baby Voodoo when he first found you, you’d probably be rotting in a ditch somewhere.”

“But… I’m a Proxy…?” Boy’s voice trailed off uncertainty. He’d been called a Proxy all his life. He’d been taught how to fight and play and Slender had always been there. But if Masky could find Proxies, and he couldn't find Boy… then what did that mean?”

Masky rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Not.. entirely. If you’d been completely bound to Slender as a Proxy at the time, you’d never have grown up. You’d have been stuck for all eternity as a toddler, very cute and very useless. He’s been protecting you, giving you a boost in some things, but you’re not ready to be a full member yet.”

Boy sat back in his seat, staring forward through the window shield as he tried to process this. 

“Hey. Hey. Boy, look at me.”

Boy glanced to the side. 

“This doesn't mean you won’t be a Proxy. It just means we’re waiting for you to grow some more. Why do you think we’re trying to spread the word that you exist lately? A couple years, tops, and you’re gunna have a story to tell.”

“What am I supposed to do now?”

“Everything you’ve been doing. Learn, grow, cause a bloodbath. Nothing’s gunna change, Brat, as long as you keep one thought in the back of your mind.”

“Which one? The one where I’m not actually a Proxy?” Boy’s snarky response fell flat between them as Masky’s aura darkened. Boy tried to shrink back but Masky reached across the small space between them and curled a hand behind Boy’s head, forcing him to lean in closer. Boy met Masky’s eyes and felt that odd sensation of a million angry bees in the back of his head. 

“That if you do this again, I’ll crack your skull open like a melon to feed the chickens. Got it?”

“...got it,” Boy whispered.

The dark aura vanished, taking with it the buzzing bees and chilly air. Masky relaxed back in his seat, leaving one arm draped over the window as he turned the key and popped the car into gear. “Awesome. Let’s get home before Hoody releases the hounds.”

Boy was still feeling the emotional whiplash by the time they got to the Castle. Masky was the one to teach Boy how swim and to properly knot his school tie. Generally, he was easy to get along with and pretty laid back. Made it easy to forget that just like any of the older boys, crossing him was a fucking bad idea.

“One last thing,” right before they hit the front walkway Masky pulled Boy to a stop. “As far as anyone else knows, I said you could go into town.”

Looking up at his eldest brother warily, “...why?”

“Because that way Jeff gets fussy with me, and not you. We don’t need any more broken chairs.”

“Oh.” Boy had no idea if he was in trouble or not. It seemed to be leaning towards not…?

The new info explained the dirty look Masky got from Jeff once the two were actually inside the castle. As Boy tried to pass through the main gathering room, the Killer grabbed him by his hood and hauled him over the back of the very, very abused couch. Squished into the space between Jeff and BEN, Boy rolled his eyes and muttered- “I was only gone one day!”

“Shut the fuck up and watch the movie.”

Boy’s new broom was going to be all dented and scratched before he ever got it into the air, having dropped the awkward thing during the struggle. Boy squirmed and wriggled until Jeff deigned to give him a few more inches of room. “I have to go put my bag away!”

“No, you have to sit right fucking here and stay put for _five goddamn seconds_ ,” Jeff growled into his ear. He wrapped an arm around Boy’s neck and made damn sure the boy was going nowhere until Jeff allowed it. 

“Clingy jerk..” Boy muttered. He eyed BEN to the other side of him, the ghost splitting his attention between the TV and his handheld gaming device. Being that BEN was corporeal meant he’d gotten a new game and needed physical hands. “What are we watching anyways?”

“Lords of Salem. It’s a little too rapey for my tastes but the visuals aren’t terrible.”

Boy grimaced. He preferred a good Gore Horror like SAW and Hostel. Rape Horror was full of too much screaming and mental breakdowns. And lately, as it turned out, gave him very weird dreams.

Several hours later, Boy woke up panting and confused on his narrow bed. He’d skulked off to his tower for the night, feeling uneasy about the recent events, and he’d been rewarded with dreams of blood and heat and death. It had started off pretty cool. Killing the guy back in Scotland had been exhilarating, and it was even more so in the dream, and he’d rubbed against the bloody corpse gleefully. The tacky feel of blood under his hands, the taste of warm pennies.. It was a great dream.

Then the journalist had turned into Neville, and that’s where things went sideways. Neville covered in blood had been hot as _fuck_ right up until Boy realized he was dead. Then his stomach had tried to turn inside out and Boy jerked awake with the most confused boner he’d ever had.

Killing a journalist was fun. Killing some random guy running through the castle, that was fun too. Boy had enjoyed all the occasions where he’d been allowed to stab and bash to his heart’s content. He liked killing people. Loved it even.

But... kill Neville? His partner in school-related crime? That was.. It wasn’t... Neville was the closest thing he had to a brother while at school, and you didn’t kill your brothers. You just didn’t. It was unnatural. The very idea of someone killing Neville made Boy want to hurt someone and he was sure his brothers, his real brothers, would have a lot to say about that, but.. 

Boy hadn’t considered Neville in a sexual way before now, but he could see the attraction. He’d do Nev. Maybe. Probably. He’d also shank anyone who laid a finger on his best friend. Unless Neville wanted them to. Maybe.

Boy stared at the ceiling of his tower for a long time. Felt like hours, though it could have only been a couple minutes since he had no clock. Finally, he gave up on trying to figure it out himself and decided to go talk to someone who had more experience with murder and brotherly affection. 

Which was how he ended up standing in front of Liu’s bedroom door. Boring, responsible Liu would have answers and maybe even advice. Which is also why Boy found himself blurting out before the door was even fully open-

“What if I don’t want to kill people?” Wait.. that’s not what he meant. Fuck. Start over.

Liu arched an eyebrow at him, door only partly opened. Boy knew that Liu had been sleeping, that Boy had come in the middle of the night with weird questions, that Liu would only tell him to go away or go ask Eyeless...

But Eyeless shared a room with Jeff and Boy didn’t want to ask Jeff. Liu was also the least likely to tease Boy about his questions, no matter how odd.

“I mean, not everyone we meet has to be killed do they? Some of them, the ones we like, can’t they be left alone?” That was a little closer to what he’d wanted. Boy stared up at Liu and tried not to slap a hand over his face, realizing there was no good way to ask what he really wanted to.

“I know prey is food, not friends, but.. I like Neville. I don’t want to hurt him. Well, I kind of want to hurt him, but I don’t want to kill him. I want him.. to be happy.” Boy winced. It sounded like he was talking about a crush, but he wasn’t! Neville was his best friend and sort-of brother.

Liu went briefly out of sight as he leaned his forehead against the wood of the door. There was the sound of a sigh and then Liu was pulling the door open wider in a silent invitation. 

Boy scuttled inside, grateful to get out of the icy hallway. Going barefoot had been a poor decision but Boy had no idea where his slippers were. Smile Dog was to blame he just knew it. Books were stacked on the floor everywhere and Boy took care not to bump into any of them and knock them over. There was only the one option for a place to sit, as the chair jammed into a corner was covered in clothing, and Boy only hesitated a second or two before sitting on the bed.

“Let’s try that again. You don’t want to kill someone you met at school? Cause you like him?” Liu turned on a lamp, making Boy wince until he adjusted to the flair of golden light. Liu was dressed much like Boy was, in a simple t-shirt and thin cotton pants. It was warm enough in summer to not need many layers, but still too chilly at night to wear nothing. 

“Yeeesss.. Though I wouldn’t mind a little hurting. It’d toughen him up and some bleeding never hurt anyone, right? He’d be hot covered in blood, seriously, but the idea of hurting him a lot makes me want to throw up. I’ve seen Toby covered in bruises after playing around with Hoody, and people in the movies... Can’t people have sex without mauling each other?”

Liu looked puzzled and but not yet alarmed, so Boy might as well go keep going with his train of thought. 

“I know how the act of sex works, I’ve read the books and talked to Eyeless, and I’ve seen it on TV though Eyeless says that’s all fake and not to be trusted. ‘specially the rape scenes though that kind of seems what Laff.. I don’t understand why all of you have to be so mean about it.”

Liu made a face as he chose a spot near the headboard, stretching his legs out and nudging Boy’s hip with a foot. “Sex doesn’t have to hurt, and for most people it doesn’t. Jeff and Toby.. well they’re special cases. Just because Toby can’t sit still, or Jeff has nerve damage, doesn’t mean you have to like the same things they do. In fact, it’s better if you don’t.”

Boy drew his knees up and propped his chin on them, chewing on his lips. “But... what if I do and I don’t know it yet? How will I know without hurting someone I don’t want to?”

“Ehhh. Come here.” Liu lifted an arm, beckoning Boy to move closer. Doing so, Boy found himself tucked against Liu’s warm side with an arm curled behind Boy’s shoulders and a hand petting his hair. Liu pressed his lips together as he chose his next words carefully. “Boy.. Did you come to me just to ask if it’s ok to want normal sex?”

Boy looked down at his hands. His nails needed a good cleaning. One had broken down into the flesh and he could see the crusted blood that had caked under the unbroken part. “...no.”

Liu petted him for a while longer. Boy felt his muscles slowly relax as they just sat there in silence. Had he been worried Liu would toss him out for being ridiculous? Intensely. This wasn’t exactly something he’d ever asked about before. He hadn’t heard anyone else ask about this sort of thing either, they tended to poke and tease each other until it happened or someone gave up. Outright asking was pretty damn rare.

“Stretch out, get comfortable.”

“Huh?”

Liu pulled his arm free and rolled onto his side. “You’re all curled up and tense. Relax. Get comfortable.”

Boy blinked. Then blinked again. He scooted himself down the bed a little and stretched out on his side facing Liu. He curled the arm he was laying on under his head and gazed at Liu’s face. Boy hadn’t thought much about why Liu was scarred up, thin white lines crossing his forehead and cheek and chin. 

“Do you like hurting Jeff because he did that to you?”

“Sometimes. It’s a little more complicated than that, but it would be hard to explain. Too much history behind it.”

“Do you hate him?”

Laying there with their faces a mere handspan apart, talking quietly in the dim light, it felt more intimate than anything Boy had done previously. He was warm, comfortable, and Liu’s voice was soothing to listen to. Boy’s stomach was starting to settle and he didn’t feel as weirded out by his own mind as much.

Liu reached up to brush his thumb under Boy’s eye, then ran his hand over Boy’s tangled curls. “I used to. It got tiring after a while though, holding onto so much anger. We’ve made our peace, so to speak, even if it still tends to come out a little..”

“Violent?”

“Tempestuous.”

Boy rolled his eyes at the big word. Show off.

Liu’s lips twitched into an almost-smile. That’s when he decided to lean forward to kiss Boy on the lips. Slowly, gently, nothing to cause alarm. 

Boy curbed his first instinct, which was to bite down. It was… an alright kiss. He stared at Liu when he pulled back. The second kiss was just as chaste, until Liu decided that if Boy wasn’t going to bite then he would. 

Not a hard bite, just a slight tugging of teeth on Boy’s lower lip, but that was enough to spark interest in his groin and make his breath stutter.

Teeth were good. Got it.

Liu shifted himself up onto an elbow and pressed against Boy’s shoulder with his other hand until the boy was lying on his back. Liu moved with him so that he was leaned over Boy with a hand on either side of his head. 

“If it doesn’t feel good, you need to tell me and I’ll stop. If you aren’t comfortable enough to tell me that, then you have no business being here. Understand?”

“...yeah.”


	7. Lost in Translation

“Got your trunk?”

Boy looked at the borrowed trolley pointedly. “Yes.”

“Got your snake?”

“Yessss.”

“Got your condoms?”

“Ye- No!”

“Well that was just poor planning on your part wasn’t it? We don’t need you coming home with blue warts all over your prick.”

“I’m not going to have sex at school!”

“You say that now..” Masky grinned at his little scowling brother. “Just trying to look out for you. Play safe out there, and remember that blowjobs and teeth are a bad combo no matter what Liu says.”

“Oh my fucking god.. I ask questions and you put me off. I don’t want to talk about it and it’s all you can bring up!” His brothers were assholes, every fucking one of them, and Boy was fed up with all of it. From Masky’s teasing to Jeff’s screaming tantrums about Boy being too fucking young. He could smash someone face in with his bat, carve them up for dinner, but sex was completely out of the goddamn question. 

“Make sure to ask someone if there’s contraceptive voodoo, we have enough Woods around here.”

Boy decided the best option at the moment was to grab the trolley handle and leave, flipping Masky the finger as he stalked off. He dragged the wheeled contraption into the station towards the Hogwarts platform muttering under his breath the whole time about brothers and hypocrites and _goddamn Liu_ for putting him in this mess. 

...alright so it wasn’t entirely Liu’s fault, but Boy needed someone to blame and Li was the safest option. Nobody wanted to talk about their sex life, but when it came down to Boys oh was everyone suddenly interested. Fuckers.

Harry could hear the girls giggling while still out in the hallway of the train, squealing at a pitch only teen girls could reach. Harry slid the door open and kicked the stupid trunk inside. Dealing with that thing first, finally he was able to look at his friends.

Huh.

Harry tilted his head to the side a bit as he considered the two giggling girls. Well well well.. It looked like he wasn’t the only Hufflepuff to have been love-tapped by the Puberty Fairy. 

“You are _such_ a flirt,” Susan was trying to scold amidst the giggles. She waved a hand at Harry, other hand coming up to cover her mouth.

The other blonde being scolded merely preened. “It’s fun! Did you see the Ravenclaw trip over his trunk?” Her casual robe was made of a much finer fabric than the boring school robes, and the pale blue color suited her far better than the black. She looked like a dainty little doll, one that was highly enjoying herself.

The newly budding breasts didn’t hurt either. Or how she sat with her shoulders pulled back to make them more prominent. However, she was easily distracted from regaling more of whatever chaos she’d been causing outside the compartment.

“Harry! You’ve gotten so tan!”

“We went camping all summer,” Harry grinned. Which wasn’t even a lie. Somewhat.

Hannah grinned back. Susan started to smile at him but quickly schooled her expression into something more severe. “I can’t believe you and Neville went to Diagon anyways! You could have been attacked, you could have been kidnapped, you could have been- where is your hair? Harry!”

“Susan!”

“I think the shorter hair suits him,” Hannah butted in cheerfully. “It’s all fluffy and curly without it sticking up all over the place.” Her stamp of approval on his ponytail made Harry smile wider.

Susan pouted. “But I’ve been practicing new styles!”

Hannah tapped a finger against her lips as she continued to stare at Harry. “With the earring and the red eye.. Harry, you’re a rogue. A very dashing rogue. We have to get you some nicer robes for the weekends. Ooooo we can go shopping in Hogsmeade!”

That perked Susan right up. Tossing aside her previous plans for Harry’s hair, she joined Hannah in looking Harry over, ignoring his suddenly wary expression. “The boots are acceptable, if we make sure he keeps them polished. Maybe a jabot instead of a tie?”

“Oh yes, definitely. Lace I think, instead of silk. Tiered lace.”

“I’m not a damn doll!”

“Of course not Harry. Now I know the current fashion is for a plain outer-robe over something more close-fitting, but I think Harry would look nice in something more like the Auror robes. AND he’d actually wear them since they’re made for movement.”

“We can’t dress him in red though, he’d look like a Gryffindor.”

“I LIKE red.” Harry slouched down in his seat as he was firmly ignored. Was this because he’d let them play with his hair? And nails? Now they thought they could dress him up in fancy clothes. 

Girls. Give them an inch and they took off screaming.

Harry was so happy when the rest of the Puffs started arriving. Ernie and Justin, Roger..

Poor Roger. Forget the love-tap, he’d been full on bitch-slapped by the Puberty Troll. Already the tallest of their group, he’d gotten downright gangly over the summer. Painful looking red spots were scattered across his forehead and cheeks, and most hilariously of all- his voice kept cracking mid-sentence.

Tactfully, no one brought up the sudden inflictions. Even Harry wasn’t that cruel. 

This year it was Neville to arrive last, throwing his trunk and himself onboard the train without even bothering to say goodbye to his Grandmother. Susan waggled a finger at him once his trunk had been stashed in the racks. 

“You! You were supposed to convince Harry not to go to Diagon without an escort, you bad boy!”

“YOU can try convincing Harry not to do something,” Neville grumped. He set a new brass birdcage on the floor, Trevor croaking just as irritably from inside. “And I’ve spent all summer being lectured by my Grandmother for it and everything else, I don’t need more people yelling at me.”

“Yeah, b-” 

Susan stalled out as Harry’s glare caught her eye. She was under no illusions of whose side he’d be on if it came down to it. “Be careful. Just be careful. They still haven’t found Black.”

“Hmmf.” 

Seven people.. Seven trunks… a frog and a snake in their respective cages.. The compartment was nearly full to bursting now. 

“Anyone for exploding snap?” Ernie brought up before the girls could go back to their discussion of the current wizarding fashions. Not that he had a leg to stand on there, even in his school robes Ernie took great care to look good. He just wasn’t obnoxious about it like some people were.

“Yeah why not. We should save the Poker for after lunch, that way we can get some snacks before Neville ruins us all.”

Neville smiled wryly. “Don’t worry, I’ll stick to fleecing Harry’s Slytherins. I’m out of practice anyways, haven’t even touched a deck of cards since the train out.” 

“As if THAT will matter.”

Bickering about the inevitable Poker game was almost more fun than the actual game was going to be. No one was in any rush to get to that point, no matter how much Neville protested that he’d return all the money he’d win. Honest!

“Could just buy a couple boxes of Bertie’s Bean and use those,” Roger pointed out.

“...oh.”

Neville stuck his tongue out at Susan, who returned the gesture. Harry reached over and clipped Neville under the chin, making the boy bite his tongue.

“Ow! What was THAT for?” 

Harry shrugged cheerfully. “The opportunity arose. And really, making faces at a girl? People will think you have a crush!” 

In the midst of their poking and elbowing battle, Susan commented dryly, “I don’t think I’m Neville’s type.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing, nothing.. Are we doing a game or not?”

 

=============

 

The dementor was long gone but Harry could still feel the cold sensation of it plucking at his soul with invisible fingers. Testing. Tasting. What was wrong with these people? Chaining Eldritch Horrors to their service? Did they have _no clue_ how fucking bad of an idea that was?

“You’ll have to forgive him, he’s a little.. high strung.”

Harry, sitting with his head down over his knees could hear Susan trying to mollify the alleged teacher as the man fixed the door. Not even their door, but the door to the compartment across the hall from when Harry’s spell had gone _through_ the creature and shattered the wood.

Too busy trying not to throw up to pay attention to what else was being said, Harry could feel his heart pounding in his ears and he was _freezing_ and a little voice in the back of his mind was screaming hysterically that if Slender Man knew this creature existed it would be the battle of the century. Eldritch vs Eldritch. Oh gods..

Neville slung an arm over Harry’s back and leaned into him, shivering a little himself. 

Hannah tucked herself up against Harry’s other side, and waved a piece of a chocolate frog under his nose. “It’ll make you feel better,” she promised. The sugary snacks from lunch had barely been touched, there was still plenty of chocolate to go around. Didn’t leave them much to use for their planned Poker game, but this was far more important.

Better for him to bite the frog and not the teacher though Harry made no promises if the man laid a single finger on Harry’s Hufflepuffs. Not with those shadowy streaks in his otherwise golden aura. Just let him try to pull some sort of trick at the school… Lockhart at least had been slimy, not cursed!

Begrudgingly, Harry allowed Hannah to feed him one severed frog limb at a time.

Alright, fine, so the chocolate did help. Harry was able to sit up now and take the rest of the frog from her. In one savage bite he tore the head off. Everything was fine. The teacher and the Dementor and their blackened auras was no longer close enough to make Harry want to lock the door and shove the Hufflepuffs under the seats. Everything was fine.

“Only you could scream at a teacher and swear at them, and still get away with it.” Roger squeaked out. It had been a little impressive, the long string of curses that had even made sense in a twisted sort of way. Roger would have had his tongue scrubbed clean out of his head had he ever dared say even parts of that out loud, and hopefully the Professor would stay too shocked to think of giving Harry a detention later on. Man had left looking like he’d seen a ghost. Could have been the Dementor though.

Hannah shuddered. She rubbed her arm where Harry had grabbed her and yanked her away from the door, just in time for the Dementor to make itself known. “Teachers never ride the train, but I suppose with the D-dementors around they wanted someone to keep an eye on them?”

“Fucking _useless_ son of a whore if that was the goddamn intention,” Harry hissed. 

Clucking her tongue at him, Hannah patted him on the shoulder. “If you’re going to be foul, then use Parseltongue please. And he was able to do something, that silvery ghost chased the Dementor away didn’t it?” 

Harry hissssed something low and violent at her. There was an answering hiss from the dragon-shaped teapot under the seat, as Mimi added her own two-cents.

“Thank you.”

The perfectly prim tone made Susan half-giggle and half-snort, hands coming up to cover her mouth in mortification. That started off the rest of them and they started cackling with only a slight edge of hysteria. Not long afterwards, someone knocked on the compartment door, and once again the students fell silent.

Trying to make up for the utterly embarrassing sound she’d made earlier, Susan cleared her throat and politely called out- “come in!”

Hufflepuffs were the best. They actually cared about their fellow students. As the Dementor made its way down the train with the fucking useless teacher at its heels, the older Hufflepuffs split up and went looking for their smaller counterparts. First Years not yet sorted were collected into tidy bunches and cooed over by the friendly badgers.

Did any of the other Houses think to do that? Fuck no. Unless it was a younger sibling or cousin, the firsties were left hanging in the wind to deal with the after affects of a goddamn soul-eater. 

Second years too.

“Room for one more? I have a Ravenclaw who could use some company.” 

Susan looked back. Harry was sulking between Neville and Hannah, hardly intimidating with a smear of chocolate on his nose. “Of course, the more the merrier.”

Junie, a sixth year now, beamed. “Great!” She ushered in a slender blond girl wearing oddly shaped glasses on top of her head. “Luna, this is Susan Bones. Susan, this is Luna Lovegood. Play nice! It’s only a couple hours till Hogwarts.” The Prefect left, presumably to make sure no one else has been abandoned in this time of crisis.

“Pleasure to meet you,” the blonde smiled dreamily. “Though I was perfectly fine on my own. There’s no.. need…”

Harry looked up at that moment and met Luna’s widened eyes.

There was a long pause as the two studied each other. Who knew what Luna saw, she was keeping her lips sealed at the moment, but Harry found her aura highly suspicious. It was flecked with silver, almost like someone had tossed a handful of glitter at her, which meant.. Kelpie blood? Fae? Better than black, but just as odd. 

“...pleasure to meet you,” Luna repeated cautiously.

Harry shrugged a shoulder, propping his chin against Hannah’s shoulder. Neville was still half draped over his back, and Harry was perfectly fine pinned between the pair of them. 

Susan, the ever diligent keeper of Harry’s reputation, huffed. “He’s not a monster. You’d be hard pressed to find a single rumor that was actually true. He doesn’t eat First Years, he’s not trying to take over the Wizarding World, he’s not trying to wipe out the Muggleborn. Honestly. Let's all have a seat and let’s play cards to forget all this Dementor nonsense.”

Neville, nor Hannah, mentioned the faint tremble that went through Harry’s body as Susan mentioned the dark entity.

Harry used a foot to nudge the teapot out from under the bench, Hannah graciously moving out of the way so Harry could pick it up and set it on his lap. Mimi was happy to leave her travel cage and look around the compartment with her tiny tongue flicking out to taste the air. The Fire Snake had nearly doubled in size since Christmas, a full twelve inches long and almost as thick as Harry’s thumb.

Scales vibrant and gleaming like healthy coals, Mimi was absolutely gorgeous.

Harry tucked her around his neck and Neville could feel the warmth on his arm still laid over Harry’s shoulders.

“On a good note..” Roger started hesitantly, “..with Dementors guarding Hogwarts, not likely we’ll see Black around. We’ll be completely safe.”

“Can you imagine if we had to deal with both of them? That would be terrible. After last year, I was so looking forward to something calmer, but those things give me the creeps.”


	8. Feared and Fearless

Ernie’s request for a quiet year was swiftly denied. They didn’t even get a quiet _week_.

Two days into the school year, Draco Malfoy was mauled by a giant bird thing in the very first Care of Magical Creatures lesson. If it had been anyone else it might not have been such a disaster but this was _Draco Malfoy_ and it didn’t take long for his father to storm in. Kudos to the Malfoys for protecting their own…? The school board was now investigating and Hagrid was on probation and the creature itself was up for execution.. What a mess.

Harry couldn’t have cared less.

But then two days after _that_ the new Professor for Defence Against the Dark Arts decided to introduce them all to a Boggart one class at a time. That, Harry cared about a lot more.

“Back the _fuck_ up,” Harry blurted out in the middle of the introduction. “You want us to do what? ”

The brown-haired Professor frowned at him. “Ten points for speaking out in class Mr… Potter.” The hesitancy didn’t go unnoticed. “And ten points for language. As I was saying, the spell we’ll be using is Riddikulus. Watch my wand movement-”

Harry raised a hand and waved it in the air as wildly as Hermione had ever done in a class. Professor Lupin paused before he, obviously reluctant, called on him.

“You can’t be fucking serious about forcing a bunch of kids to face their _worst fear ever_ and tell them to LAUGH IT OFF. Do you know how traumatizing that could be?”

“Mr. Potter, as your teacher I’m sure I would know how-”

Harry rode right over the teacher’s words, hands flailing in the air and looking more upset with every passing second. “Our WORST FEAR you said, the thing that would on a normal day drive any one of us to tears or hysterics? How the fuck do you expect us to find something funny about that? If Voldemort popped out of that thing and strolled around I’m SURE the first thing anyone would think to do is LAUGH AT HIM to make him GO AWAY.” He ignored the flinching that still came at saying the Old Man’s name. 

“The Gryffindors hav-” Lupin trying to get control back.

“The Gryffindors are assholes with illusions of grandeur, who go leaping into their assumptions before they even think to look twice!” Oh look, he was channeling his inner Eyeless. Interesting. Was this how Eyeless felt once he got fed up with Jeff and Toby’s antics? 

The class did not go well after that. Along with being forced to go nose to nose with their biggest fear, who wanted that knowledge plastered all over the school for the other kids to make fun of? Be it spiders or.. or Voldemort or.. How would a Boggart take the form of drowning? Flood the room with water? Hannah started hyperventilating just thinking about it, Justin putting an arm over her shoulders protectively.

Faced with a mutiny, Professor Lupin was forced to call in their Head of House.

“No grade is worth severe mental trauma,” Harry told her flatly. “Did you get their parents permission before deciding to toss them into psychological hell? ‘Cause no one asked _mine_.” Parents, Guardians, whatever. Same thing. 

Sprout seemed a little lost for words. With a polite “please sit quietly while I talk to Professor Lupin,” she took the man out to the hallway to have a quick conversation.

How did one seriously argue with that? Should Lupin have said ONE of their fears? The most convenient fear? Should they have been tasked with practicing the spell beforehand? Should they have been warned without the rattling wardrobe at the end of the classroom reminding them all of what was to come and couldn’t be escaped?

“I swear to fucking god the adults here have no sense of reality,” Harry muttered under his breath. He’d known the brown-haired professor was bad news the moment Harry had laid eyes on him and his splotchy aura. 

Wait.. the Gryffindors had already faced the Boggart?

When? Harry was pretty sure Neville had had his own DADA class session earlier that day, before lunch. He’d looked pretty normal for a kid who’d supposedly faced his worst fear ever. 

Either Harry was overreacting or Lupin was telling lies on top of it all.

Harry stopped pacing long enough to stand by the lone window in the room. His fingers moved restlessly over the sill as he tried not to give into the urge to go hunt Neville down right now. All this in the same class as Ron and the other boys? If they even tried to use whatever it was against Nev then Harry would.. Would…

“Harry, you’re.. uhh.. Smoking. It couldn’t have been too bad, or Neville would have said something. I’m sure.”

Harry glanced at Susan and then down at his hands. “...huh.” His fingers had left long scorch marks on the wood. Whoops. Well that was different.. Mimi was rubbing off on him it seemed. She’d been leaving scorch marks in all his books lately, apparently liking how the pages crackled under her scales.

“Isn’t there any class we can look forward to that won’t be trying to torture us?” Hannah asked the classroom plaintively. After Draco had gotten mauled by the Hippogriff, it had taken some convincing to make her give Care of Magical Creatures a try. And then it had been turned into hours of feeding these disgusting caterpillar-like things lettuce till they popped. 

She’d traded it for Muggle Studies before the day was over. It was almost a full set of them now!

“I don’t think we can drop this class, it’s a core class,” Ernie reminded her. “At least Herbology was nice and unthreatening right? The Puffapods were pretty fun until Roger dropped one.”

“And McGonagall is still the same too, a little cranky but nothing we can’t handle.”

The Hufflepuffs sighed. 

The door opened and the two teachers reappeared. “Class, looks like we’ll be doing a bit of bookwork instead today. If you would all follow me back to the DADA room.. Mr. Potter, you’ll be serving a detention with me later this eve-”

“Talk it over with Professor Snape, he has first claim,” Harry bit out as the man stood too close to his shoulder for his liking. He leaned away from Lupin as the man ground his teeth together. 

“I can’t say I’m surprised. Your attitude, Mr. Potter, could use a lot of work.”

The rest of the stupidly long class was spent reading about the Boggart from their texts. And when even that left them with time to kill, Lupin tried to engage them with a group discussion about facing your fears and how it would be easier to do the spell now rather than later when surprised..

The Puffs weren’t having it, staring at him blankly. Or in Harry’s case, with blatant hostility.

“I don’t think Professor Lupin likes us very much,” Susan remarked after the bell had finally ended the torture. They had potions next, and right before lunch too. Ewwww.

“Did you see the look on his face? The man has got to have the worst migraine right now.”

“Ever notice a lot of the teachers get that same look after having us in class?”

“Unless Harry sleeps through it all.”

Hannah giggled. “That just makes it more interesting when he starts screaming at people for being incompetent. Are we suuuuure we don’t want to take Divination this year?” She giggled again when Harry turned and scowled at her. His rant about fooling around with the forces of the unknowable had been nearly as epic as his hissy fit about the Dementors.

“Maybe that’s why he’s been cranky lately, he’s not been getting his naps.”

“I’m right here!”

“Yes Harry we know. And hurry up before we’re late to class!”

Potions class was a little more interesting than usual, what with Harry demolishing his ingredients more thoroughly than really needed. Of course, since he was partnered up with Justin and it wouldn’t have been fair to mess with his grade as well as Harry’s own, Harry did make the attempt to not _completely_ ruin the various herbs and beetles. He might have been very free with the measuring of the ingredients, but his knife work was unmatched and eye-watering precise. 

“What do you think the Boggart would’ve turned into?” Justin muttered quietly as he stirred the cauldron.

“The teachers admitting that they honestly don’t care about our mental health.”

“Ahh…” 

They’d have to deal with it eventually perhaps, it seemed to be a big part of the curriculum, but maybe with some advanced warning and time to read about it.. It wouldn’t be that bad. Maybe.

Snape, for all that he still loomed over them to breathe down their necks, didn’t make any of his usual snarky comments. It was still creepy how he watched them like a hawk but then someone had pointed out that Potions was a pretty dangerous class. He had to keep an eye out for potential catastrophes. 

Doubled up with the Ravenclaws, Susan and Ernie put their heads together for a moment then split up to mingle with the Ravens to collect some gossip. Turned out that they hadn't had their DADA class yet.. 

Harry suspected Professor Lupin had more to worry about than a handful of disgruntled Hufflepuffs in the long run of things. If the Ravenclaws got their feathers ruffled, who knew what could happen.

 

\-------

 

“No, it was pretty bad,” Neville corrected them at dinner time. He’d been loitering at the Great Hall doors waiting for them. He wasn’t allowed to sit with them at Dinner, an actual rule in the books, so he could only steal a handful of minutes beforehand. There’d have been more time after dinner but then there were the detentions and homework..

Once the extras classes had been added, the class schedule was a goddamn mess. Hufflepuff had hardly any classes at all with the Gryffindors! Which wouldn’t have been too bad if it hadn't meant they never got to see Neville either. And it was always best to just assume Harry had a detention, made things easier to plan.

Neville glanced over his shoulder and lowered his voice. “Some of it was fine, Lavender was afraid of a big dog but turned it into a frilly poodle. Ron though.. It messed up a few kids when Ginny fell out of the wardrobe. I think.. That It might have turned into one of the twins too before Lupin sent it away.”

Hannah gasped, hands going over her mouth. “Oh _no_..” How unnerving would it be to see your dead sibling in class? That must have been horrific!

“Professor Lupin had to pass out some Calming potions after that.” Neville glanced at Harry real quick. “Ron spent lunch in Madam Pomfrey’s care.”

“But.. you were at lunch! With us! Why didn’t you say anything?” Susan threw her arms around Neville in a hug, belated as it might have been. “You poor thing!”

Neville ducked his head down, shoulders scrunching up around his ears as he waited it out. “It wasn’t easy to bring up, you know? You were all chattering about the new plants in Herbology and I had just taken the Calming potion so.. It would have been weird to suddenly say ‘oh yeah, your DADA class is going to suck because you might see dead people.”

Harry was wearing a peculiar expression, eyes roaming over Neville’s face. Neville smiled crookedly at the scrutiny. “It was a really good potion. You couldn’t have known.”

Not looking any happier, Harry returned the almost-smile. “I guess.”

“I have decided,” Hannah declared, hands on her hips, “that I do not like Professor Lupin. After the Gryffindors fell apart he still tried to make us go through the same steps! That is just.. Rude!” She stomped a foot as if needing to make it perfectly clear that she was Upset.

“More than you dislike Snape?”

Hannah tilted her head as she considered it. Then with a sharp nod, “yes. I dislike him more than Snape. You pointed it out yourself, potion making is very dangerous! People could goof off and mess things up and blow up the whole class! In a way, he _has_ to be mean to us for our own good.”

“Appreciative as I am for your _kind_ words, you all best get inside for dinner,” came the familiar and annoyed drawl. Hannah’s cheeks went bright pink as she turned to look up (and up) at the named Professor. She squeaked something, probably an apology, and scampered through the hall doors without waiting for the rest of the herd. 

“....welp time for dinner, see you later Neville.” Ernie and Justin didn’t give Harry a chance to get snippy, they grabbed an arm each and hauled him inside towards the Hufflepuff table. Just because Snape had been relatively calmer in their previous class, didn’t mean anyone felt like sticking around for chit chat.

Except for Neville, who rubbed the back of his head as he was swiftly abandoned, Harry protesting the whole way. Heh. “Umm..” Perhaps it was the glimmer of amusement in Snape’s eyes as the Hufflepuffs scattered like rats, perhaps it was the memory of Snape’s obvious disgust when arriving with a small crate of Calming potions during the DADA for the Gryffindors.. Whichever it was, Neville felt brave enough to ask-

“Professor Lupin isn’t going to do well is he?”

“No, I don’t believe he will.”

Snape arched an eyebrow down at him, but Neville was still feeling bold. As the most hated Gryffindor in the school, the Potions Master just wasn’t that bad when compared to the things Neville got from his Housemates and Yearmates in the Tower.

He could still remember how those same yearmates had downed their potions and then started cheering about how that had been an amazing class! Proper hands-on learning! They couldn't wait to see what Lupin planned for their next class!

That could have been the Calming potion, but then why were they still excited after it wore off?

Harry was right, the Gryffindors were insane and Neville had never felt more out of place.

“He’s not prepared at all for dealing with Harry, is he?”

“No, he is not.”

The glimmer of amusement was now much more apparent. There was even a smirk. Neville decided not to press his luck and finally went inside for dinner. 

What was more unnerving, a smirking Snape or a smirking Harry?


	9. Rumor Has It

The Staff room was a cozy, well lit room for those little moments when one wanted to take a break for a nice cup of tea but didn’t want to go all the way back to their rooms. Of course it was also used for Staff meetings, but those were few and far between. Most of the time it was used to simply relax and share gossip about their students.

“I warned you,” Flitwick sighed. The diminutive teacher shook his head at Lupin and sipped his tea.

The DADA Professor continued to look troubled, fingers tracing the edge of his cup. “You said he was rough around the edges, not... He’s practically _feral_.”

“Nonsense! You’ve been reading too many newspapers. He’s actually calmed down quite a bit since his first year.. all you have to do is find a way to engage him. Challenge him. Give him something he can sink his teeth into and he’ll be right as rain.”

“That’s not entirely true,” Professor Aurora Sinistra, the Astronomy teacher, butted in as she sat down at the table with her own tea. It was rather late in the day for most of them, but she had only just gotten up. Her classes were, after all, during the night. “He’s been a delight to have in my class since the beginning. I’ve never understood how the rest of you could have such problems with such a sweetheart.”

Flitwick’s eyebrows went up at Harry being described as a ‘sweetheart’. As fond as he was of the boy himself, that seemed a bit.. ahh.. much. “Well, we all know that Mr. Potter is a bit of a night owl.” Flitwick considered for a moment before adding, “with an odd predisposition towards cleanliness.”

“Are you sure that’s not only because you’ve been teaching him household charms in order to improve his detail-work?” The fourth teacher to join the group was Professor Septima Vector. She was the Witch who taught the Arithmancy class. Like Lupin, this was her first year with Harry Potter in her classroom, but unlike Lupin she didn’t have many complaints either. “It’s that streak of brutal honesty that has me personally concerned. He’s not one to pad his words, as I’m sure you’ve… heard.”

Really, it seemed to be a hit or miss with the teenager. It was a badly kept secret that he drove Minerva batty, and asking Severus for his opinion was just asking for an hour long rant. Poor kid was going to be in detention until he graduated if the Potion Master had his way.

Lupin’s expression leaned towards disgruntled. “I was only trying to follow the course list as it was given to me. No other class has had a problem with the Boggart.” Well… the Ravenclaws hadn’t exactly had a problem, they’d just asked to have their lesson done on a more personal level.

As in, one at a time so that their secrets remained their own.

The Slytherins had been highly offended when they heard about the concession, because what if they had wanted the same? How unfair!

“Mr. Potter requires a delicate hand. Guidance, not orders,” scolded Flitwick. “I told you this at our first staff meeting. Mr. Potter is a very stubborn, very willful student. You cannot force him to do anything if he does not see _why_ he should do it.”

“He’s a third year student, he should know to follow directions by now. Even James didn’t-”

“You as a teacher should know not every student learns the same way!” Flitwick was getting exasperated and it was clearly showing. “He is not his father, stop expecting him to act so!”

Lupin rubbed his hands over his face. “I know. _I know_. I’m not expecting him to act like James.. But I wasn’t expecting him to downright hate me at first glance either! Everytime I see him it’s been one thing or another and now he looks at me like I’m about to.. to.. bite him!” Dumbledore had sworn that no teacher employed at the school would spread tales about his illness, but Lupin was having trouble believing that now. _Someone_ had warned Ha- Mr. Potter.

And he had a sneaking suspicion that he knew just who to blame.

“You could always follow Pomona’s example,” Sinistra cast her eyes up towards the ceiling so she didn’t have to watch Vector add her fifth and then sixth spoonful of sugar to her tea. “She’s had great success with bribery. Now that he’s no longer interested in officially joining the Quidditch team, she’s planning to dangle the Art class in front of him now that he’s eligible to join.”

 

\----------------------

 

Unaware of the teachers gossiping about him, Harry was waiting. Patiently. He had a book and was sitting with his legs stretched out across the bottom of the stairs. He kept getting odd looks from the random person or three who had to use the stairs, but since the landing was pretty damn wide he barely took up even half the step. Which meant he could force people to move around him without any regrets. 

Or for one daring little Snake, to hop over his legs with a cheeky grin. 

Harry had grinned right back, and the set of First Years had gone up to the Great Hall giggling. They had Harry’s full approval, children should be fearless after all. 

Anyways. 

Harry was sitting and waiting right there for a very particular Snake, looking up from his new charms book every so often as he heard people coming. Captain Flint had rolled his eyes and threatened to step on Harry’s leg, and for him Harry had begrudgingly moved his legs. Some other rather large Seventh Years had looked torn between ignoring him and respectfully nodding their heads.. And in the end they gave him a wide berth while keeping silent.

Harry Potter, Basilisk Killer and Heir to the Dark Lord. Tremble in his presence! Harry mentally cackled to himself and went back to his book. He still couldn’t get the mending charm to work on the bed curtains, and that was irritating. He could blow a hole through a stone floor but not mend torn fabric? What kind of super wizard was he?

Ahah. There they were. Harry could catch Draco’s voice from a mile away, always whining and complaining and acting like a giant toddler. That the rest of the Slytherins hadn’t cut his throat yet to stop all the noise was a damn miracle.

Harry gathered himself up and shoved the book into his pocket. It had taken some work to make the hard cover malleable to roll up tight enough to fit into the pocket, but it was worth it in the end. He waited for the group to turn the corner, counting heads before planting himself in their path. 

Malfoy’s boots almost screeched to a half as he turned his head away from the little girl at his side and found Harry right in front of him. Blaise startled, but only enough to make his footstep stutter briefly. Crabbe and Goyle at the back just turned around and returned to their commons. They were large enough that missing a meal would hardly leave a dent.

“Hello Harry, were you looking for-”

“Draco, yes.” Harry didn’t want to listen to Blaise and his slippery words. He wanted Draco and only Draco. And the rest could have been trees for all Harry cared. “I wanted to see the wound that even Madame Pomfrey couldn’t heal, and she can solve anything.” That didn’t involve Harry.

Draco swallowed, his throat convulsing slightly. His arm was caught up in a sling of white fabric that stuck out against his white robe like a flag. How fitting for a coward. “It’s.. healing.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “I want to _see_. From all the weeping and wailing it must be really bad. Neville says you’ve been making Ron do all your potion work and your friends wait on you hand and foot. Surely it can’t be that bad.”

Draco’s eyes flicked to the little girl on his right, some sort of flower name like half the girls in the school, and then towards Blaise. Little Flower patted at his shoulder, with a little glare. “It’s alright Draco, you don’t have to show anything to a _Hufflepuff_.” 

Blaise however, gently coughed into a fist. If Flower was going to be Draco’s Shoulder Angel, then Blaise was bound to be his Devil. “Where’s the harm in Harry taking a look? It’s not like Harry is asking to see anything personal. There’s not a lot of bandages to get through..”

“It is too personal! Draco is in pain and he doesn’t deserve to be poked at by a.. a…” Her bout of courage apparently didn’t extend far enough to actually call Harry names. Sad.

Draco’s lips tightened. 

It was interesting that he wasn’t immediately caving under Harry’s gaze and that was enough to make Harry even more curious. So he waited, looking only at Draco’s pale face to see what he’d decide to do. And after a few moments he was rewarded by Draco turning to Flower- 

“Go on ahead to the Hall, save me a bowl of strawberries and cream. The sweetness will help distract me from the pain. Blaise can escort you.” A not so subtle hint to the other boy to fuck off.

Harry waved Blaise off when he looked to the Hufflepuff for a reason to stay put. Harry would see Blaise later at the card games once they started back up. He and Draco watched the pair slooooowly drag their feet up the stairs and then the hall. Once they were out of sight, and presumably out of hearing, Draco sighed. 

“I’m only showing you this because I know you’d find a way otherwise. This will probably hurt a lot less then whatever it is _you_ come up with.”

“Awww, you’re faith in me is adorable!” Harry grinned, deciding he was going to enjoy having this new Draco around. Was the cowering gone for good or would the blonde crack later on? It was going to be so much fun to find out.

Draco glared. “Shut up.” He gingerly pulled his arm free of the sling and unwound the simple bandage from his arm, covered from wrist to elbow in thick padded cloth. Holding his arm out stiffly, Draco tilted his chin up and frankly dared Harry to say something.

Amazingly, Harry found himself at a loss for words, so Draco won this round. Finally. The injury was nothing Harry had ever seen before and he drew closer to get a better look, hand coming up to hover over but not actually touch the tender skin. 

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

The slash was healed, though barely. A thick and puffy scar ran along the outside of Draco’s arm nearly from wrist to elbow, and Harry would have been surprised if the claw hadn’t gone down into the bone itself. The two joints framing the scar were pink and swollen, leaving Draco’s hand to look even paler and small. Purple and black bruises covered nearly every inch of his forearm.

It looked gruesome and excruciatingly painful. To be like this a week after the initial incident, with all the magical healing crap they had around here? Wow. The creatures were magical, half horse and half eagle, perhaps that had blocked some of the effectiveness of Wizarding magic? 

Harry should go check them out to see if the Hippogriffs glowed silver or gold. 

He lifted his gaze up to Draco’s face, feeling a trifle incredulous that the Slytherin still at school looking like this while his Father stomped around making demands. Peering directly into Draco’s eyes, there was none of the fear which could have been reasonable with Harry so close to his wounded arm. No, there was a new, grim sort of determination. Surely it wasn’t just because some over-sized eagle had attacked him…?

No. This was something else. 

The whining and complaining, Harry realized in surprise, was a cover up. The more Draco acted like he was a step from dying, the more people thought he was just being a drama queen. Draco was hiding how much pain he was in by literally howling about it and that wasn’t something you learned to do in a single week. 

Had he found the kid who’d survived Slender?

Harry blinked, realizing just how close he’d gotten to Draco’s face while lost in thought. And fuck it all, even the blonde had a growth spurt over the summer and was still taller than Harry by a good four inches. Even so, Draco was fighting valiantly to keep his gaze up (down?) and meeting Harry’s, arm brought in close to his chest. 

“. . . maybe you aren’t as pathetic as I thought,” Harry finally said aloud. Draco didn’t have any black marks in his aura, not even a grey smudge. Harry had no idea what to look for.

There was a scuffle off to the side, a few yards from where they were standing. Harry tilted his head to peer over Draco’s shoulder to find some more Slytherins waiting to go up the stairs, eyebrows raised in a united showing of surprise. 

“Mm… Yeah, that was all I wanted. See you later Draco.” 

Harry left him to face his Housemates alone, having absolutely no interest in explaining what he was doing at the Dungeon entrance. He shoved his hands into his pockets and briskly walked up the stairs to lunch. Strawberries suddenly sounded really good. Not with cream though, maybe a little dusting of sugar. Yeah, that sounded perfect.

Of course, it only took till the end of dinner for the rumors to be snaking through the hall. 

_Harry Potter had been caught kissing Draco Malfoy in the Dungeon!_

Hannah went all starry-eyed with the possibilities. “All this time, he’s been trying to get your attention! Oh could you just imagine the pictures? White and black, silver and red.. Oh where's that little Gryffindor boy with the camera? Harry! Brush your hair real quick!”

She didn’t actually get up to go find Camera Kid, but Harry still flipped her off with his free hand and a grin. Surprisingly, it was Ernie and Neville who looked less than amused with her teasing, especially when Harry decided to play along.

“Oh yeah, the whiny brats are always the best ones, they really know how to use their mouths!”

Hannah squealed, hands coming up to cover her pink cheeks. “No! Bad Harry! You’re awful! But... he is really very smart. I bet he knows… a lot.’”

“This will certainly add a bit of variety to all the dating rumors,” Susan added dryly as she watched Harry and Hannah lean into each other and laugh. She wondered if she should tell them about the Ravenclaw betting pool regarding Harry’s potential date for Hogsmeade.

Nah, it would ruin the surprise.


	10. Sky Diving

Exasperated with the talk talk _talk_ about his supposed love life, Harry decided he needed a distraction. And look, he had the perfect thing to do!

Harry pressed his belly against the railing and leaned out as far as possible to see the ground. He squinted as he tried to guess how high up the stands were. It had been several flights of stairs going up and those were damn tall so…

“About a hundred feet? Give or take a few yards. Plenty of time to get into gear.”

Neville hummed in agreement, then added- “don’t forget your goggles.”

Harry grinned at him toothily and pulled the orange-tinted goggles down over his eyes. He laid his not-quite-so-shiny Firebolt onto the railing of the Quidditch Stand and, while Neville grasped the front handle to steady it, before Harry hopped up onto the railing himself.

It took but a moment to slide his right foot into the strap near Neville’s hand, though his back foot only had a chunk of curved metal to brace against. Finding a way to attach both pieces without drilling into the wood had been an adventure, one that ended up killing his first broom. In the end, Harry (With a few tips from Masky) had taken a strip of leather and wrapped it around the wood near the bristles and front end, which was then used to buffer the iron rings he’d clamped tightly around the handle. Attached to those rings were the strap and bracer. 

Easy!

Now he just had to make it work. 

Technically the broom should levitate on command, or when a person sat on the invisible seat. Making it do so while Harry was standing on it had taken some serious trial and error but he was pretty sure he’d figured it out. The broom wanted someone sitting on the seat while holding the handle, right? So he braced most of his weight on his back foot, the seat, and turned using his front foot, the handle. The broom didn’t exactly _like_ it, and would sullenly raise a few inches before dropping back down, but he figured once he got it in the air everything should start working properly.

Should. 

Neville lifted one hand off the broom to pull out his wand before letting it loose completely and taking a step back. Harry wobbled for a moment, standing on a narrow broom on a narrow railing would always be tricky, but it was fine. 

“All set?”

“Set.” Neville had been practicing his levitating and cushioning charms all week just in case, but he had faith in Harry. Mostly.

One awkward hop later... and Harry was plummeting to the ground far, far below. 

Later, when Neville was asked why he’d encourage his supposed best friend to make a hundred foot swan dive off of the Quidditch Stands...

“Well, he was going to do it no matter what I said, but at least this way I could be there for it. If something went wrong I could help, rather than him doing it without anybody around and getting hurt really badly.”

“Mr. Longbottom, you could have told a teacher! Or a Prefect who would have told a teacher! He could have been _killed_!”

Neville doubted that, eyes dropping down to the toes of his boots. Harry, sitting right next to him, kicked his foot till Neville looked up. The boys traded grins, Harry’s more manic while Neville’s was leaning towards rueful, but grins all the same.

It had been awesome.

The broom had worked just like Harry thought it would, barely letting him drop twenty feet before engaging. Turning right to left was easy, he just had to lean onto his back foot and turn the handle with his front. To go up, he bent his knee to bring up the front, to go down he bent his back knee and tilted the whole broom down.

Speed was the frustrating part. If Harry stood fully upright, the broom stopped. To get moving he had to sort of.. crouch? The closer he could bring himself to the broom handle, the faster the broom went. Sadly, Harry hadn’t been able to bring the Firebolt up to its full acclaimed speed, but that was for the best really. Trying to crouch while keeping the broom level was fun enough.

The important thing though, details aside, was that it had worked! Too bad the Teachers had then stormed the pitch and demanded he stop making loops around the goal posts and come down _right this instant young man_.

Madam Hooch and Flitwick had swiftly claimed the broom, saying they needed to check on the various safety charms to be sure he hadn’t messed them up. Harry had never seen the smaller Professor look so disappointed in him.. that had hurt a little, honestly. 

Just a little. He’d make it up to Flitwick by doing his homework. On time even!

McGonagall had then chosen to haul both of them up to the Headmaster’s office. Again. She was sputtering so badly that the scolding lost a lot in translation, and Harry was having a hard time not laughing at her. He couldn’t see Neville who was being marched along on the other side of the Old Bat, but Harry was sure Neville was amused too. Now they had to sit and wait for her to run out of wind and for Sprout to arrive and for who knows what else. 

Ugh. Adults. Couldn’t live with them, and didn’t want to.

Harry leaned back into his chair and sighed. “I have a detention with Professor Snape in half an hour, can I just…. go? He doesn’t like it when I’m late, says it’s irresponsible.”

“If you had been _paying attention_ , Mr Potter, you’d have known that’s been changed. You’ll be serving your detention with Professor Lupin tonight, since you have an ongoing schedule with the Potions Professor.” McGonagall barked at him. The woman seriously did not like Harry for no reason Harry could come up with. She turned to Neville now, “and as for you, Mr. Longbottom, I am honestly considering revoking your access to Herbology club!”

“You.. he didn’t even do anything!” Harry found himself protesting, bored feeling vanished.

“He knew about it, and withholding knowledge can be just as dangerous as doing the act itself,” she coldly informed him. “Actions, and non-actions, have consequences Mr. Potter. You _will_ remember that.”

Fucking hypocrit. Harry opened his mouth to say something he’d probably later regret, but he was stopped by a light touch to his hand. When Harry look to the side, Neville gave a tiny shake of the head. 

Harry pouted and slumped down into the conjured chair he’d been given on first arrival. 

“Now, now Minerva.. I don’t think we need to do anything so drastic...”

Harry was suddenly reminded that Dumbledore was present. Swinging his gaze around to the elderly man behind the desk, Harry’s eyes were caught by the speculative expression in those twinkling blue eyes. He didn’t like the lingering word that stayed unsaid.

_Yet._

_Fuck you_ , Harry replied back with his glare.

“We’ve not broken any rules,” turning to the Old Bat. “I’m a third year and allowed to have a broom. No one else was using the pitch, no scheduled practices or anything. You let the Weasley Twins test pranks on the baby years, but _I’m_ not allowed to fly _my_ broom?”

“Those are completely unrelated events, and I would suggest you look to your own misdeeds and not those of others!”

Neville couldn’t stop from scowling, resentment churning in his stomach. She’d over-look what the Twins did, she’d over-look what Ron did, or the rest of the damn house when they turned on Neville, but heaven forbid if Harry did one thing outside the norm. 

To quote Harry, fuck everything about this.

Their saving grace, keeping both boys from saying something they really shouldn’t while trapped within the walls of Hogwarts, came in the form of someone tall, dark, and brooding. The door slamming open was pretty funny, the Old Bat and Old Man flinching. Neville jumped too, but still managed to grab Harry’s arm before he could draw his wand. Or knife.

Tensions were already running high, no need to cause more chaos. 

“I was merely wondering if I should expect more of my _carefully scheduled_ detentions to go amiss. Shall I submit the rest of my timetable to Lupin so he can pick and choose at his leisure?” Snape sneered down at Neville and Harry before pointedly turning his back on them to face the Headmaster and McGonagall. 

“I didn’t think you’d mind Severus, missing one evening with Mr. Potter,” Dumbledore responded cheerfully. “Surely a few hours to yourself would be appreciated, rather than having to stand guard over a misbehaving student.”

“What I would appreciate Headmaster, is being asked,” rather waspishly. 

It was turning into a three-ring circus around here as McGonagall butted in, “Severus we’re in the middle of things right here, Mr. Potter was caught with a modified broom and-”

“I seem to recall his father doing something of the same,” that same curl of the lip appeared whenever Harry’s father was mentioned, “and what did you say then I wonder…”

Harry’s eyes bounced from one adult to the other, the old bat going red and Dumbledore looking down to shuffle papers on his desk. “Yes.. well… I’m sure Minerva was startled by the events, and may have..” Dumbledore stopped before saying ‘over-reacted’, and coughed lightly. “Children, you have things to do, I believe. Harry, Mr. Lupin is waiting for you in his office. Neville.. err…”

“Homework Club,” Neville filled in the blank flatly.

“Yes. Run along now, there’s a chap.” 

Neville changed his grip from Harry’s wrist to his sleeve and pulled on it. Harry was looking more interested in watching McGonagall and Snape fight it out, the Witch obviously trying to hold her tongue long enough for them to leave. Harry looked back over his shoulder to find Snape glaring at him, though there was an upward twitch of the eyebrow that meant something. 

It meant.. uhh.. Shit what did that usually mean. Amusement sometimes. Or that Harry was being particularly intelligent when least expected. Neither of those sounded right. Ehhhh... Harry should just go to his potions detention after he served time with Lupin. He’d find out then.

Until then...

“You’re getting as bad as Susan,” Harry muttered as he shook off Neville’s grasp.

“She would have taken your broom from you last week and told Sprout,” Neville frowned. “I’m not trying to stop you from having fun.”

Harry made a small snorting sound, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

“ _Harry_.” When Harry still wouldn’t look at him, Neville grabbed his arm again. “Harry, I’m not. I wouldn’t even try. I just want to help keep you from killing yourself. You want to jump off the roof? Fine, give me time to prepare for it. You want to argue with McGonagall? Curse away, maybe you’ll give her a heart attack one day. But she can also make your life miserable, that’s what I’m trying to prevent.”

Neville twisted his hand around to hold Harry’s wrist, Harry instinctively grasping Neville’s wrist in return. “Brothers. I’m not your keeper, I just want you to let me come along for the ride.”

The angry glare started to ease from Harry’s face, and he allowed a small grin to come through. “Along for the ride? One day Nev, you’ll be driving and that’s gunna be fucking wild.”

They had to split ways now, Harry to go see the stupid DADA teacher, Neville to the library. 

“Hey Nev?”

“Yeah?”

“You know they’re gunna try using you against me, don’t you?”

“They can try.” As if they hadn’t been trying this whole time.. He’d not tell Harry that though.

“Even if it’s the club?”

Neville grimaced. “I’d miss it, sure, but that’s not the only time I’ll see the Green Houses. I’m not going to stop spending time with you no matter what they try to do. Never have.”

“..ok. Just making sure you know. See you in the morning then?”

“Yup.”

The last bit of tension left Harry’s shoulders and he was almost feeling cheerful as he trotted up the stairs. Now that that had been neatly cleared up… a detention with the cursed man oughta be interesting. What sort of diabolical thing would Professor Lupin want to torment him with for yelling at him in class? Harry couldn’t wait to find out.

…..Harry could have waited to find out. 

He stared back at Professor Lupin with an incredulous expression on his face. “You want me to clean the classroom?”

“Well, I expect you to do your best.” Lupin looked around but he didn’t seem to be seeing what Harry was seeing- an already perfectly nice room. Just a few smudges on the windows and some cobwebs in the corners. Where was the dirt? Where was the challenge?

“ _This_ room?”

“I’m not going to torture you,” Professor Lupin frowned down at him. “I’m not the evil Professor you seem to think of me Ha- Mr. Potter. Flitwick says you could use some practice with your charm-work, so try not to think of this as just a punishment but also extra practice time.”

“....right.” Harry shrugged a shoulder and waited till the man left. His office was just across the hall if Harry needed him or had any questions. Harry waited till he heard the door open and close before pulling out the stick.

Cleaning charms huh? This was going to be the shortest detention ever.

Harry cast the biggest and most general cleaning spell he knew, watching with vague interest as the floorboards went shiny with polish and the student desks straightened themselves under invisible hands. As the spell traveled outward in growing rings, the walls were swept free of cobwebs, the windows glittered, and the lamps shone brighter than ever. Overhead, the ceiling beams chucked out the various beetles making a home in the wood. 

Harry tucked his wand back into his hoodie pocket and looked around. That had taken.. what, ten minutes? At most? This guy was truly the worst teacher. Eh, maybe Harry could go catch Neville in the library before heading to the dungeons. There were cauldrons to scrub.


	11. Behind Lock and Key

Cleanliness was important, and that was just a fact. Keeping up with good hygiene meant washing between the toes and behind the ears, because otherwise you could start growing a fungus that would crawl into your head and take over your brain. 

Harry loved being able to take super hot, long showers. And not just because he could nearly broil himself clean of any nasty pests.

“There you are, what took you so long?” Ernie squinted into the mirror and tightened the knot of his tie a smidgeon more. “We were supposed to meet the girls ten minutes ago.”

“Masturbating.”

Ernie choked as his hand slipped and clocked himself in the throat. 

Roger, by the door with his school bag in hand, whipped his head around. “Harry!”

“What?” Harry finally found his hairbrush and started dragging it through the wet mess attached to his scalp. He had his jeans on, and a shirt, but he still needed shoes and his school robes.. It was only breakfast though, there was no time limit no matter how much the others complained.

“You’re not supposed to admit it!”

Harry stared at him blankly. “Roger… we’re teenage boys. Trapped in a very small space with each other as we go through puberty. Masturbating is perfectly normal and it’ll make things a lot easier for you if you just admit it and move on.”

Ernie buried his face in his hands. “Harry... in polite society... which I know is bizarre concept for you…you don’t talk about that sort of thing.”

“We aren’t in polite society, we’re in our dorm room.” With one last rake of the brush through his hair, he tossed the hairbrush in the general area of his trunk. His robe had been left across the foot of his bed so that was quickly grabbed and pulled on over his head.

Boots.. boots.. one was by the foot of the bed. The other had to be nearby. Harry squirmed under the furniture and into the dark depths, to be rewarded with the glossy footwear. Sitting on the floor, Harry looked up to find the three red-faced Hufflepuffs looking everywhere but at him or at each other.

“... _fine_ , I promise I won’t mention any developing sex habits outside this room. Happy?”

“...it’ll have to do I guess…” Roger winced. He glared at Justin, the last person he expected to see trying to hold back a laugh. Justin shrugged at him.

The girls were waiting out in the commons, heads close together and giggling. “What took you so long?” Susan echoed the question Ernie had asked just minutes before, “we’ll be late to breakfast.”

“My fault, I was-”

“-running late!” Roger yelped, voice cracking. Susan blinked up at him a few times. Harry raised an eyebrow. It was like Roger didn’t trust him to hold his tongue.. how sad. How fortunate.

“Err… okay….”

“Don’t mind him,” Harry grinned as he moved to stand next to Roger. “He’s just upset I didn’t invite him. To go running, I mean,” with a sideways look at the poor guy.

“Awwww, poor Roger!” Hannah took Roger’s other side and slipped her arm through his. “I bet if you ask Cedric you can join the group, even if Harry is being mean.”

“I think Roger is more interested in a running partner than a group,” Harry told her. 

Sandwiched between them as they discussed the running group, and the pro’s and con’s of being in a large group versus smaller pairs.. Roger’s face was turning a shade of red Harry had only seen on Ron’s till now. 

Ernie was desperate to change the topic. “What were you guys talking about while you waited? I hope we weren’t taking THAT long.”

Nope, the boys were doomed. 

“Oh! We were talking about our dates for Hogsmeade! Can you believe it’s coming up so soon? Just a couple more days and we get to see the town!”

“Dates?” Harry stared at her blankly. “Why do you need dates?” If the group got any bigger they’d need to rent the purple bus to get to town. Who wanted that sort of hassle?

“Well, no one needs a date, but it’s tradition Harry! It’s so much more fun to explore with a partner! There was this super cute Ravenclaw the other day who was so sweet when he asked me to accompany him to Puddifoots cafe...” Hannah sighed, expression going dreamy.

“...but we’ve already decided that we’re going to stick with the group for our first trip,” Susan picked up easily as Hannah trailed off. “I’m far too young to be going on dates, I promised Auntie Amelia that I would wait until next year at least.”

“Oh.” 

Ernie coughed a little to clear his throat. “However.. being that there are six of us, we could still provide escorts for each other. In the name of tradition.”

Behind Harry’s back, Susan half turned to frown at Ernie. Do _not_ , she silently mouthed.

“...Susan can be escorted by Justin, and Roger can escort Hannah. I can escort Harry.” 

“Yay, I get Roger!” Hannah gleefully clung to the tall boy’s arm, who then made a sound not unlike that of a bullfrog. The pretty little blonde batted her eyelashes up at him. “Will you take me to Honeydukes for candy?”

Roger flailed, shaking Hannah off his right arm and Harry off his left. “Bunch of.. why do I put up with.. Like living with wild animals…” Muttering to himself as he walked faster and into the Great Hall. 

Hannah frowned, tossing a braid over her shoulder. “Too much?”

“Ehh.. we’ll buy him some candy,” Harry shrugged. He offered her his arm with a shark-toothed grin, but Hannah just turned her nose up at him. “Yuck!”

“And people say I’m rude…”

“What do you say Harry,” Ernie persisted. “Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me?” 

Harry waved a hand back over his shoulder, already looking around the room for Neville. “Yeah, sure.” Neville was looking very lonely at the far end of the Hufflepuff table, not for long though as Roger stomped towards him. Complaining all the way it looked like, Neville laughing at whatever it was. Harry grinned and completely missed Susan trying to smack Ernie with her bag. 

Roger pointed a spoon at Harry and Hannah as they got closer. “Stay back you heathens! I have had quite enough of your shenanigans before breakfast! Neville, they’re your responsibility now!”

“I’m starting to think Roger doesn’t like us anymore,” Hannah pouted as she took a seat. She widened her blue eyes to try looking as sad and pitiful as possible. “I thought we were-”

“No! Talk to Neville you wretch, because I’m not listening to a word you say!” Roger stuffed half a biscuit in his mouth, and busied himself with a plate of eggs.

“Yeah... I don’t think he wants to be our friend anymore,” Harry agreed. He leaned on Neville, laying his head on the Gryffindor’s shoulder. “Neville, Roger doesn’t like us anymore! It’s like he doesn’t WANT to join the running group with me, after causing so much fuss this morning!”

Neville dragged a hand over his face, as Roger started choking on his breakfast. “I don’t want to know why you’re tormenting poor Roger this early in the day. Eat your bacon before you give him a heart attack.”

When Harry opened his mouth to protest, Neville stuffed a slice of bacon into his mouth and now Harry was the one choking. 

Susan and Ernie sat on the other side of the table, Ernie looking vaguely triumphant. Justin had fallen behind because there were only a few jugs of non-pumpkin juice per table and he wanted one of them. He joined them eventually with his prize, sparkling red pomegranate.

Harry pushed a glass towards him, looking hopeful. 

“Get your own Potter, this is mine fair and square.” 

“Why is everyone acting so crazy today?” Susan wondered. “Is something in the water?”

“The shower water,” Harry cackled. 

“Harry I swear to Merlin, one more word…”

Harry scrunched down, pressing up against Neville’s side for protection. As if they didn’t all know full well that Harry could kick their asses if he wanted to. All at the same time. “I yield! I yield! Keep your pants on! Neville, tell Roger he’s being a bully!”

“Yeah, a bully!” Hannah happily chimed in.

“I don’t know any of you,” Neville decided. Turning to the more sensible ones, not the ones cackling like the disturbed wretches Roger claimed them to be, he asked- “Hogsmeade is coming up. Are we taking the first carriage down or waiting until after breakfast?”

“I want to have breakfast in Madam Puddifoots!” Hannah squealed, ignoring completely he hadn’t been asking her. “Roger! Make note! Puddifoots, or I’ll cry on you for the rest of the day!”

“Gee, what options I have…” Roger groused. 

Susan, looking pained, detailed out the real plans. “It’s a long trip, about an hour? We should eat before going down the mountain so that we don’t arrive nauseous. That way we also won’t be competing with everyone else to get breakfast right away. We can look around and grab lunch at some point later.”

“At Pu-”

“ _Yes_ , Hannah. We know. You’re excited about going to Puddifoots. But I don’t think the boys will like it nearly as much as you will, and we need to think about the _whole_ group,” with an oddly intense stare at Ernie. Susan was all but glaring holes into his head.

The Puppy Eyes of Doom returned. Hannah looking at up at Roger who was refusing to lift his from his plate because he knew exactly what would happen otherwise. He’d fold like a house of cards on the back of a hippogriff.

“What’s with the Puddle cafe?”

“Oh it’s the most darling little place! All frills and lace and cookies in the shape of hearts and-”

Harry wrinkled his nose at the description. “Yuck.” 

Hannah stuck her tongue out at him.

“I promise I won’t force you to go to Puddifoots for lunch,” Ernie making sure to catch Harry’s eye. “Regular food at a regular cafe.”

Their little section of the table went quiet, uncomfortably so after all the previous chaos, and Harry looked baffled at the remark. 

“Okay…?”

There was a dip in the gold flicker that surrounded his friends, and Harry turned to the right to find a little blonde Ravenclaw standing at his shoulder. She sparkled like a tweenie vampire in her silver-flecked aura. If Flitwick was part Goblin, then what whose blood did she share? 

Luna stared at him for a long moment, head tilted to the side. “Neville is usually over here instead of with his house. Might I join you too?”

Harry looked at Susan. The blonde shrugged at him, just as confused but not seeing a problem with the idea. “Of course you can Luna, come sit over here with me though, you don’t want to get mixed in with Harry’s and Hannah’s nonsense,” patting the bench beside her. 

The even littler blonde pulled a move worthy of Harry. She stepped up onto the bench seat, then the table, and delicately picked her way across said table to reach the other side. “Thank you. It seemed much more pleasant over here than at my table, you are all very happy this morning.”

Harry opened his mouth, caught Roger’s glare, and very slowly took a bite of his eggs while holding the boy’s gaze. Roger snorted like an asthmatic racehorse before he turned to respond to Luna’s statement. “We’re just excited for the Hogsmeade trip this weekend. Most of us have never been there, and it’s one of the few magic-only villages in Britain.”

Luna nodded, pale grey eyes very serious. “Just be careful of the Wrackspurt swarms.”

It wasn’t too strange having her there, she was a quiet little thing that spent most of her time watching them with her slightly vague gaze. Once Harry got used to the sparkling, he tuned her right out of his mind anyways and went back to poking at Roger. 

“Hey, tomorrow is another running day. Wanna come? I know how left out you’ve been feeling lately, and it’s set early enough that everyone can shower afterwards without being late to class...”

And that’s why Harry was brushing bits of scrambled eggs out of his hair when the bells rang, signalling that classes would start soon. 

“I’ll take that as a maybe,” Harry mused as he finger-combed his hair clean. Holding his stretchy hair-tie in his teeth made the words came out a bit slurred, but Neville understood him anyways. Jamming a snack-filled napkin into Harry’s satchel as they walked, “is there a reason why Roger is upset about the running group?”

“ ‘m not allowed to talk about it outside of the dorm,” much, much too cheerfully. Slowing his feet to let some distance and people get between him and the Puff’s, Harry continued. “But I can tell you that it’s the extracurricular activity that came _after_ the run that’s gotten him riled up.”

When Neville continued to look curious, Harry made a very well known, very blatant hand motion. 

“You didn’t..!” Neville barked out a laugh, Roger’s grumpiness now making perfect sense.

“In the dorm? ‘course not, it was in the shower. Behind closed doors and everything like a proper-minded citizen.” Harry beamed at him, trying for Hannah’s look of pure sweetness and failing. Failing miserably in fact. “See you later Nev!”

“Later.” 

Poor Roger. Harry would keep poking him until the boy learned not to react. Neville shook his head, cheeks pink. 

Yeah.. Poor Roger.


	12. Sweets for the sweet

_“Maybe next month I’ll be charitable and ask her out myself, if she’s desperate enough to come with pox-face.”_

_“She’s only a third year, way too young to fool around with.”_

Harry wasn’t really paying attention to the chatter around him, reading labels on the wall of suckers. Buttercreme, Licorice, Artichoke Hearts, Roses Dipped in Honey, Blood..

Blood? Harry perked up in interest, plucking the bright red sweet off the wall. Blood flavored candy? Magical blood flavored candy? He wondered if it would have the same kick as real wizard blood, or be like cough syrup that was supposedly cherry flavored and just tasted like chemicals. 

Why did a candy shop have blood flavored candy…? Other than it was Halloween of course.

The pair of boys loitering just out of sight by the jars of brightly colored candy were still talking, one of them with a slightly nasal pitch that was irritating to the ear.

_“Nah, she’s already growing boobs, those ones are always ready to fool around sooner than the other girls. Play nice now and maybe she’ll show us how grateful she is later.”_

Harry knew he was going to be buying the candy no matter what, so he didn’t have a problem with taking the wrapper off and popping the sucker into his mouth. 

Oh. 

Well fuck. 

Harry made a happy humming sound that made Ernie look over. “I found a treacle flavored one, I know it’s your favorite ice cream. ...Harry, you’re supposed to buy the candy before you eat it.”

Harry hummed again, scanning the wall for another bright red sucker. Cherry Sundae, Strawberries Wrapped in Cheese, Iced Radishes.. Oh hey, didn’t their Ravenclaw tagalong wear radishes for earrings? Harry considered it for a moment then decided why the hell not, and took that one too. 

Susan said the girl didn’t have many friends in her house, and it wouldn’t kill him to be nice. Would get Susan off his back about being mean to the younger years too, which he still didn’t understand. How can you be mean to someone you don’t even notice half the time? Most of the time. All the time. She should be grateful he considered them too little and helpless to pick on but noooo…

“Harry, you ready to go?”

Harry twitched as Ernie spoke right into his ear. 

“Yeah I guess so. Hannah get her candy?” He rolled the sucker around his mouth to get the words out clearly.

“Roger is paying for it as we speak.”

Harry snickered, tolerating Ernie cupping his hand under Harry’s elbow to lead him towards the cash register. Hannah was clutching a bag of fudge bites, beaming up at Roger who was looking back down at her with an expression both exasperated and fond. 

It was an extremely common look in their group.

“Susan and Justin are waiting outside with Neville,” Hannah informed them cheerfully. “Neville thinks we should go see the Shrieking Shack after lunch not before, so maybe we can do a little robe shopping now, hmm? An hour or so of taking your clothes off and on will be good for your appetite!”

Momentarily distracted by Ernie swiping the candy from Harry’s hands, Harry tossed back a snotty “Why don’t _you_ take off your clothes for an hour?”

He was startled again as Ernie, who replied before Hannah could, hissed at him suddenly. “Keep your voice down Harry!” Harry blinked a few times, finding himself at a loss for words with the sudden demand. 

“Let’s go outside,” ventured Roger, shifting uncomfortably between them.

Hannah slipped her arm through Roger’s, giving a little toss of her head. “Spoilsport,” she told Ernie as they drifted out of the store. Wearing the same pale blue robes she’d worn on the train, accessorized with a pair of silver pumpkin earrings for the occasion, she looked even more like a china doll next to Roger. Harry frowned after them. 

Not because he didn’t think they made a bad pair, but because he had the feeling he’d heard something and he couldn’t recall it or why it bothered him. Ah well. If it was important, it’d come to him eventually. 

Harry shook off Ernie’s hand as he again tried to take Harry by the elbow and started weaving through the crowd himself. Ugh too many people.. but he had his blood pop, so that was alright.

Susan was shaking a finger under Neville’s nose, “-lost me a good amount of money, _again_ , and you’re going to make it up to me! So!” Seeing Harry, she spun around and pointed the finger at him. “We’re going robe shopping! You owe me and I need to see you in good, proper clothes for a change! Don’t give me that look Mister, march!”

Ooookay so it looked like they were going shopping. Harry pouted around the sucker.

It didn’t take long for Harry to get fed up with the browsing. The place was a haven of hiding places though, the round racks of robes throughout the room were perfect for Harry to duck into and get a few minutes of breathing space. Hannah couldn’t make him try on another robe if she couldn’t find him, so how was that for smart thinking?

The walls were draped with examples of the various styles and colors. Then you found the right rack where, depending on the style, they were organized by length or size… ugh.

If Harry was careful, he could slip from one rack to another if the girls got too close.

Or Ernie. 

What was his problem anyways?

Harry froze, a second sucker in his mouth, as Neville parted the robes and stuck his head in. “They’re done, or so they say. They want you to get the dark green set and the black one with red trim. They’ve already picked out the matching ties for you.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Where’s Ernie?”

“Sulking over by the tie rack.” 

Heaving a sigh, Harry motioned for Neville to get out of the way and climbed out through the opening. There were very few times Harry was thankful for being the smallest though he’d never admit it out loud. “Why do I need to buy them?”

“Cause you agreed to?”

“No, I mean I gave Susan all the money I found in my trunk. ‘cause fuck me if I can keep this coin system straight. If she has all the money why do I have to be there to oversee the money being handed over?”

Neville scratched behind his ear, thinking it over as they walked. “..maybe she’s uncomfortable spending your money without you knowing how much, even if you don’t understand it?”

“Eh.”

You know what? Neville was a goddamn liar, and if Harry wasn’t so mad he’d have been impressed by his poker face. Harry didn’t have to be present for the payment, he had to be present for the fitting. “Unless you _want_ to be tripping over the hems every time you wear them,” Susan told him, and now Harry was planted on a small platform while a witch hemmed the robes. It was kind of neat to watch her manipulate a dozen tiny silver needles with magic, but still.

Harry vowed vengeance, glaring at Neville through the entire process. Neville responded with a bland little smile that told Harry Neville knew _exactly_ what he had done and didn’t care. Adding in his standoffish attitude all afternoon, what the fuck had Harry done to piss him off? 

Harry was still in a snit when they moved on towards lunch, carrying bags and boxes. If Susan and Hannah wanted him to have new clothes so bad THEY could carry them as far as Harry was concerned. Which meant that Justin and Roger ended up with them because they were good boys with proper dating etiquette. 

Harry had no idea why that meant the girls weren’t allowed to carry anything, or why it meant Ernie needed to pull out Harry’s chair for him in the cafe. And hand him the menu. And let Harry know he could order whatever he wanted, since Ernie was paying of course.

“I want a beer,” the sulky one muttered. 

“Err... anything that’s legal.”

Harry side-eyed him for not recognizing it as a joke. “I think you need the beer more than I do. Chill the fuck out Ernie, relax. We’re supposed to be having fun and you’re wound up tighter than a pocket watch on steroids.”

“I’m just trying to make sure you have a good time,” Ernie said stiffly, unfolding the menu.

“You’re testing my patience is what you’re doing. Keep treating me like a goddamn girl and I’ll show you just how much of one I’m _not_.” It was the damn robes wasn’t it?

“I’m not treating you like a girl!”

“Oh yeah? Want me to list all the ways you’ve been driving me nuts?”

Hannah’s blue eyes darted between them, looking anxious as they argued. Roger in turn not so subtly elbowed Neville in the side. Catching the Gryffindor’s eyes he pointedly tilted his head towards the other two as they started getting louder. 

Neville’s response was to tip a glass of water over. He watched idly as the water and ice cubes spilled over the table edge, making Harry yelp as he got a lapful of freezing water.

“Bathroom’s in the back,” Neville pointed out as Harry started swearing, expression just as passive as before. “The hand towels will soak up all the water for you. I don’t think you should try a drying charm till you stop disintegrating fabrics.”

“Fuck _everything_..” Harry swore again as he stood up and stalked off to the mentioned bathroom. 

Neville propped his chin on a hand as he watched Harry leave. Once he was out of view, Neville looked around the table and found the Hufflepuffs staring at him in various forms of shock and awe.

“How on earth do you get away with that? Seriously. It’s like.. I don’t know! Magic!” Susan fumed. She also got glared at or snapped at when she tried to rein Harry in, and Neville went around dropping water glasses on his lap. How was that fair?

“He’s observant, not omnipotent. He can’t watch _everything_ ,” Neville grinned. To Ernie who was still looking frustrated, “he doesn’t like it when you make decisions for him, and you keep trying to make him act like a proper wizard. You’re just making him cranky.”

Susan’s eyes narrowed. It almost sounded like Neville was trying to help Ernie. That couldn’t be right. Neville obviously had a crush on Harry, so what was he playing at? “You try to make him act proper all the time! And you lied to his face in the shop just a little bit ago!”

“If he can’t tell I’m lying that’s his fault,” Neville pointed out. “And it’s fun to watch him get tripped up because he’s stopped paying attention to things. No, I don’t try to make him act proper, it’s a lot more fun to play along than to try stopping him. Not that it would work anyways.”

“...I thought we were going to Puddifoots for lunch...” Hannah interrupted suddenly, in the most overly mournful voice manageable. As they looked at her, Hannah blinked rapidly until she was properly teary eyed. “Roger, you scoundrel! You promised!” 

“What? I did not! I bought you candy, you.. you….!” 

Neville shook his head as the conversation was successfully derailed by Hannah’s antics. While Susan might have argued the point further, it was hard to hear over Roger’s outrage. And while everyone was focused on the dainty blonde and her crocodile tears, Neville slowly pushed his chair back and stood up. He made his escape to go check on Harry. Harry should have been able to dry off by now, so what trouble he had gotten himself into?

This. See this? This is what he was exactly what he’d been talking about. Neville closed the door behind him and leaned against the wall next to it. Harry looked sheepish for a split second, but that didn’t stop him from kicking the boy already on the floor in the chest. 

Neville knew who the boy was, and the other one bleeding over by the sinks. They were both older years in his house, and known to be a bit braggy. If they had tried to corner Harry while he was alone, he could see why the extreme response and bleeding. 

“Do I need to provide an alibi?”

“....maybe? They were talking about Hannah and if anyone else talks about her like that I’ll kick their ass too!” Harry paused as he suddenly remembered, “they were talking about her in the candy store too! Fucking perverts,” as he lifted a foot to kick the closer one again.

“We’re waiting for you to order lunch,” eyeing the victims. They were looking pretty bad.. black eyes, bloodied noses, he was pretty sure the one by the sink had a broken wrist. Neville just couldn’t bring himself to care, they’d tormented him often enough in the tower. “Aren’t you hungry?”

“...oh. Yeah.” Harry looked down at himself and noticed how dirty his hands had gotten. He stepped over the fifth year to get to the sink, where Broken-Wrist flinched away but all Harry did was wash his hands and dry them off. His coat and jeans looked dry so he must have been able to deal with that before the brutal beat down. Damn… his knuckles were sore. Ah well it’d clear up by the time lunch ended. 

Harry frowned at the older boys, but decided to leave it at that. “I want a sandwich.”

“Then order one, who’s stopping you?”

“These guys for one….”

The rest of the afternoon passed by much better. Ernie stopped trying to lead Harry around, and even kept his trap shut when Harry tried to climb the fence to get a closer look at the Shrieking Shack. Though Neville did point out the No Trespassing signs.

“It’s not trespassing if it’s abandoned!”

“No, but it’s a week stay in the Hospital wing if you impale yourself on the fence. Look at all that rust.” 

“...fffffine.”

Susan threw up her hands in exasperation as once again, Harry bowed to Neville’s wishes while ignoring everyone else's perfectly good common sense. Neville shook his head at her because all he’d done was state a fact, he’d neither pushed for or against the exploring, only warned.

By the time they had to join the final queue for the carriages back up to the castle, even Harry was exhausted. They could have left any time during the day, but where was the fun in that? Did mean the line was long and tedious.. Harry saw Draco some yards ahead with the flower girl. The Slytherin was still wearing his sling, and according to Neville still milking it for all it was worth in class. 

Especially for Ron. Which was great because Harry had been too distracted lately to properly poke at the Ginger. Ah well, with Draco he was in good hands.

Ernie cleared his throat to get Harry’s attention once everyone was situated in the carriage and resting their feet. “Harry,” he started, “I think it best if we stayed just as friends.”

Harry squinted at the Puff for a moment, and you could almost see the giant glowing question mark hovering over his head. “...alright. If that would make you feel better.” Propping his chin on Neville’s shoulder, Harry yawned.

Honestly, Ernie was so fucking weird.

“I’m not sure I’m going to be hungry enough to do tonight's feast justice,” Roger realized suddenly. 

Susan just sniffed at him. “I told you not to eat all that candy.”

“If you’d been paying attention, you’d have noticed I only _bought_ the candy, I didn’t eat it. Chocolate is terrible for the skin.”

Hannah blinked a couple times. She looked down at her bag of sweets. “Is THAT why you told me to try the chocolate-dipped triple-chocolate fudge? You’re trying to SABOTAGE me? ME?” 

Thanks to the Hufflepuffs, Harry didn’t even notice when they passed the Dementor guards at the gates. He noted a sudden coolness in the air, but he was too busy laughing at Roger being beaten around the head with a packet of fudge to care.


	13. Mistakes

Time seemed to slow as Harry kicked Neville in the chest, Harry’s body tilting back to balance out the high point of contact.

Sure, most of the school was spooking at shadows and tiptoeing through the halls as if Black was a single blink away from leaping out at them, but Harry and Neville? They had sequestered themselves away to do a little sparring practice. Neville was still terrible, but Harry was pretty sure the boy could hold his own against an even worse fighter like Ron.

Harry though, was a _lot_ better than Ron... and might have gotten a little too enthusiastic. Just a little. A eeny tiny bit.

So uh… Oops?

Neville slammed to the ground, where he continued to lay on the cold floor wheezing for the breath Harry had literally knocked out of him.

“Shit.”

Harry crouched next to the poor, abused Gryffindor and watched him gasp for air. “I’m.. sorry? Don’t try to force it, take it slowly…”

Harry curled his legs under him as he waited it out. Neville’s jagged, shaking breathing started to even out and soon he was almost normal. “Good thing you did those cushioning charms I guess. Or that I didn’t kick you that hard. Can you stand up?”

He remembered getting knocked down a lot when he was little and his brothers were teaching him how to fight. Mostly Eyeless. Jeff had taught him how to wield a knife and hack and slash his way through a room, but Eyeless had taught him how to use his fists and feet. Masky had just made him run up and down the damn stairs, the sadist. 

Neville rubbed a hand over his chest, and grimaced up at him. “Cushions be damned, I still felt that. Are your feet made of cement?”

“Nah, steel.” Harry hopped up to his feet and offered Neville a hand up. Neville gripped his wrist and let himself be towed upwards. This was exactly why Neville had charmed his clothes. He’d known Harry would do something. Harry would have regretted it afterwards, but that wouldn’t have helped Neville’s ribs any. 

“Where did you learn to do that?” It had happened so fast, Neville barely had had the time to realize he’d been kicked before he’d hit the floor.

“My brothers! Ready to go again?”

Neville rubbed his chest again. “No.. think I’ll take a break. I have a detention with McGonagall anyways, I probably shouldn’t show up looking like I’d been in a fight. Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow’s good. I’ll take my boots off when we go again so that next time it won’t be so rough on you.” Harry eyed his shiny dragonhide boots. While he wasn’t making sure to keep them polished,someone else definitely was because the scales gleamed with a mirror-like shine. “...good thing I’m not wearing something sturdier.”

“Yeah I remember the ones you wore last year,” Neville said dryly.

Harry shrugged. School bags had been tossed into a corner with Harry’s robe, but they were easily found, and after Harry pulled the stupid thing on they left the empty hallway. Ever since the Aurors had sealed off the bathroom last year, there was no reason for anyone to come to this corridor so it was a good place to fool around. 

The halls were both empty and crowded as students moved in tight clumps, much like they had during the Basilisk attacks. Once Neville was inside the Old Bat’s classroom for his detention, Harry headed down the hall to Professor Flitwick’s. No detention for him tonight, oddly enough, but he was bored of cleaning charms and maybe Flitwick would have something for him to do.

The tiny Professor was busy with some younger students, scolding some pouting second years while Luna stood off to the side with a spaced-out expression on her face. Harry took a seat on a desk near the door as he waited for them to finish.

Luna was the first to notice he was present, pale grey eyes sharpening. Since she wasn’t the one being scolded.. Harry crooked a finger at her to come closer. After the briefest of moments of consideration, the blonde left her friends to wander over. No, not her friends.. The sullen glares directed at her as Flitwick gave them a stern talking to, they weren’t friends. 

Not that it really mattered. “Hey, I got something for you at Hogsmeade.” Harry propped his bag on his knees and rummaged through the scattered contents. Sure, it had been over a week ago, but between leaving it in his hoodie pocket and the fuss over the Gryffindor portrait getting slashed and the teachers freaking out... At least Harry had remembered it now, right?

“To go with your earrings,” he told Luna as he finally produced the red and white candy. The wrapper was looking a little crushed but the sucker itself was perfectly fine. “Radishes right?”

“Oh.. yes…” Luna took the sucker from him, giving him an odd look. “Thank you.”

Harry flapped a hand at her. “Just make sure you eat it and not wear it, you’ll attract ants.”

Luna turned the sucker to look at it from all angles. “Maybe a hairstick…”

Harry rolled his eyes. Still holding the sweet out in front of her as she contemplated it, Luna wandered out of the classroom and he wondered if Flitwick had been finished with her or if she was just that ditzy. Yeah, she could stick around. She was kind of amusing. 

Flitwick popped up at his elbow, and Harry jumped. The other girls, still pouting, were also leaving now. “That was very kind of you Mr. Potter. Miss Lovegood has been seeing very little of that these past few weeks.”

Harry shrugged a shoulder. “It was just candy.”

Flitwick frowned at the doorway, fingers rubbing his chin. “In some ways, yes. But how can I help you Mr. Potter, surely you’re not here to turn in your essay hmmm?”

“Oh shit. No, but I am nearly done,” Harry smiled sheepishly. “I’ll turn it in tomorrow? I’m bored! I still can’t make the cleaning charms work and it’s getting frustrating. The general stuff works perfectly, but if I have to clean one specific thing it just falls apart and I’m tired of beating a dead horse.”

Most teachers would have told him to finish his homework if he was so bored, but not Flitwick. The teacher hmmed again, and gestured for Harry to follow him back to his desk at the front of the classroom. “In that regard, I think we’ve been going about this the wrong way entirely. It’s not often I say this Mr. Potter, but you have too much focus.”

Too much focus? How the hell did someone have too much focus? “...I’m not following.”

“You’re missing the forest for the trees. Or would it be the other way?” Flitwick was muttering to himself more than Harry at this point. “Magic is intent and focus, not just power. I know you can do most transfigurations after a few attempts but.. Charms? Charms are tricky.”

Harry smirked, wondering what the Old Bat would say if she’d heard that. 

He wasn’t smirking later, aching head buried in his arms. Turned out that Harry had absolutely no problem with his precision work. He could pick out a single marble and making it float, he could etch incredibly thin lines on a block of wood. The problem with his cleaning charms was because his idea of clean was literally past the point of removing mere dust and smudges. 

Thanks to Eyeless, when Harry cleaned something, by god he cleaned it with bleach and steel wool. Hell, when Flitwick brought forth charmed handkerchiefs Harry all but scrubbed the magic itself off.

Flitwick was fascinated.

Harry had a headache.

Oh look, Lupin was here.

Harry tilted his head to peer at the man with his red eye. Yup, still cursed. Lupin eyed him back for a moment but he only had a couple questions for Flitwick about him charming up a water tank for an upcoming lesson on Kappas. 

Harry kept an eye on Lupin as the teachers talked. Completely missed Neville’s arrival until the Gryffindor pulled out a chair next to Harry and sat down looking nearly as worn out as Harry felt. “What’s going on?”

“Charm practice,” Harry grunted. He bristled when he noticed Lupin looking at them. He wanted to snap out a ‘what?’ but decided it wasn’t worth the effort. He just glowered back at the man till he looked away.

“How was detention with the-” Harry’s eyes flicked towards the Charms teacher, “...McGonagall.”

“Fine, I guess. Though if I had to do any more lines I think my hand would have fallen off.” Neville flexed his fingers wot work out the cramps. “I’d rather have a detention with Snape like Ron got, I’d be learning something at least.”

“Snape’s awesome,” Harry agreed. He pressed the right side of his face back against his arm to cut out the light show. “Cranky as fuck, but awesome.”

For some reason that made Lupin look back at them again, frowning harder. “Neville, I thought the Gryffindors were supposed to be walking around in pairs. Where are the rest of your classmates?” There was a strange note of grumpiness in the question.

“I dunno. I was in detention with Professor McGonagall and she didn’t say anything about it. I was just planning to walk Harry back to his commons when he and Professor Flitwick were done here. Since, you know, most people think Black is looking for Harry and he’s kind of dangerous.”

Harry wondered if Neville meant Black was dangerous, or if Harry was.. It worked out either way really. And Harry didn’t like Lupin’s tone right now, it was making him itch. 

“I see. And who’s going to escort you back to the Gryffindor tower may I ask?” 

“I was,” Harry answered. His smile was more barred teeth than a true smile and Lupin’s eyes narrowed. Before the man could point out the flaws of that plan, Harry barged ahead. “He’d escort me down, then I’d escort him back up. Of course, then he’d have to walk with me back to the basement, and I wouldn’t dream of letting him go off all alone with Black lurking in the corners. It might take all night, but no one will be walking the halls alone. _Professor_.”

“You already owe me one detention, Mr. Potter. Don’t make it two,” Lupin told him coldly.

Flitwick cast his eyes to the ceiling, as if praying for guidance. “Don’t fret Remus, I’ll be seeing that they get to their houses in one piece. A walk will do me good, too much time spent sitting and grading papers.. Need to stretch my legs a bit.”

Lupin continued to look miffed, but didn’t press the issue. Another reason why Lupin was a terrible teacher, he tried too hard to be considered fair and kind, unlike Snape who would take points away for merely breathing in a sarcastic way. Not that every teacher needed to be like Snape, but Lupin was trying too hard to be a _friend_ to his students.

Harry enjoyed being a pain the ass too much to accept that sort of bribery even if he had liked the cursed Professor.

Which he didn’t.

At all.

After dropping Neville off at the Gryffindor entrance, a hilarious event in itself thanks to the very chatty knight Sir Cadogan, Flitwick used the walk to the basement to ask Harry-

“Mr. Potter, may I ask why do you keep antagonizing Professor Lupin? As his former teacher and present colleague, I can assure you that the man means no harm. I know you have some.. interesting.. viewpoints on class work at times, but I don’t think the man deserves your contempt.”

“Maybe. But… his aura creeps me out,” Harry admitted with a grimace. “The black smudges, I mean. You and Luna, you sparkle with silver and it’s kind of pretty, but his aura is unpleasant to be around and I don’t like how he moves.”

“How he… moves?”

Harry frowned, trying to put it into words. “He moves like.. like a predator who’s trying not to be a predator. It’s sneaky and irritating ‘cause it’s distracting. Itchy.”

“Err…” Flitwick had a number of micro expressions fly across his face in a grab-bag of twitching eyebrows and wrinkling of the nose and lips. 

“I’ve not seen anything else with black auras ‘cept the Dementors, so he’s either cursed or something even worse. And I don’t think it’s very responsible to hire a cursed man to teach your impressionable students,” Harry started to scold as if he’d suddenly transformed into a hundred year old teacher himself.

Flitwick had to laugh, it was that ridiculous when coming from a thirteen year old. “You know, we’ve been so busy with Charms, I’ve forgotten completely about your aura-reading. Now that we’ve solved the problem though, hopefully, maybe we can spend more time on that. I know I’ve told you that I’ve Goblin in my family, but Miss Lovegood.. I’ve not heard of any such thing. Perhaps she’ll be willing to help us in our tests.”

Harry, adorable psychopath that he was, completely forgot what he’d been complaining about as Flitwick dangled the shiny new puzzle in front of him. Metaphorically speaking. “Yeah? What kind of tests? I mean, I can tell where magic is and that some magic isn’t human, but what more is there?”

“Oh, all sorts! Perhaps with some training you can tell what kind of magic, such as the difference between a charm and curse. Curse-Breakers are always needed, Gringott’s itself has a large staff just for the vaults, not to mention their diggings out in Egypt and the like…”

“Curse… breakers?” Curses. To break them, someone had to put the curse _on_. “What kind of curses?”

“...errr…” 

Well, solve one problem and gain a new one. That was alright, better for Harry to go looking at the common school curses than looking into Lupin’s background. 

Just before leaving Harry at the barrels to the Badger Commons, Flitwick suddenly snapped his fingers. “Oh yes! Before I forget again, your broom is nearly finished being checked over. We should have it back to you before Christmas. Perhaps ask some of the older years to be present if you decide to take it out again, hmm?”

Harry took the request for the order it was and cheerfully saluted the Professor. “Sure thing professor!” Aura readings and playing with his broom? That should keep his mind occupied for a while. Harry had been getting so bored..


	14. Now or Never

The time had come to literally face his fears.

“You sure about this?”

Harry eyed the tightly locked door. He absently pushed Neville’s hand down as the Gryffindor brought out his wand. “Stop that. And do you really think I’d be here if I wasn’t sure?”

Ignoring Neville’s snort, Harry squinted at the doorknob and what he presumed was the lock. Alohamora would have been easy to cast, but that was cheating. Sure, they didn’t know what kind of lock had been used, or if it was a physical lock at all, but did that matter in the long run?

Harry wanted the door unlocked and that’s the thought he kept in mind as he pushed magic at it. _Without_ his wand because he had a point to prove.

When the door clicked and swung open a few inches, Harry turned to smirk at Neville. “See? Easy. You won’t get better at it if you don’t practice.”

“How many times have you destroyed your bed curtains again?”

“...shut the fuck up and stand guard.”

Neville snickered and it almost eased away the worry lines from around his eyes. 

The Hufflepuffs were the very last class to face the Boggart in Defence Against the Dark Arts. They’d been learning about all sorts of strange creatures since the failed class, but now Lupin was saying that they’d had enough time to prepare themselves and they would have to have their practical. 

Reading about it, practicing the charm, Harry doing his best to bolster them with ideas that got weirder and weirder.. He couldn’t help it, Harry was honestly worried about them. Which was stupid. The Ravenclaws had survived it. The damn Gryffindors had survived. The Puffs weren’t weak, he just… There were so many things that could go wrong.

Amazingly, the Slytherins had clammed up and refused to talk about their lesson, not even a single peep from the biggest gossips. According to a couple of older Hufflepuffs, that was fairly typical when you had families that used info as currency.

Harry was here, breaking into a locked classroom in the middle of the night with a nervous Neville just a few doors away from Lupin’s office... because he wanted to see what it did before facing it in class. Neville however, wasn’t going inside with him. For reasons.

“I told you what I saw,” Neville had pointed out grumpily. 

“Yeah, but only because you thought telling me would make me bring you along. Not because you wanted me to know.”

Neville hadn’t known how to respond to that. Seemed a pretty stupid reason to not let your best friend guard your back against a creature that fed on fear. All the books said you should have multiple people meeting a Boogart to confuse them. Harry was just being stubborn and Neville didn’t like it but couldn’t do anything about it. Not without causing a fight.

Harry pulled the door shut behind him and debated his robe for a moment. Nah.. if he had to make a quick break for it he should leave it on. He’d only put it on in the first place because the black cloth made it harder to see him in the dark corridors, but that was just as good a reason to keep wearing it.

The wardrobe was at the far end of the classroom.

Well, no use drawing it out any longer than he already had. Harry strode across the floor until he was only a couple yards away and without putting any further thought into it, pulled on the doors with his magic. 

Out came… himself?

Harry stared at his doppelganger in astonishment. Harry was pretty sure he knew what he feared above everything else, but he hadn’t known what it would look like walking towards him.

There was no scar, or not one that stood out like the one that trailed down the side of Harry’s face. Down Boy’s face. The dopple had two green eyes. Clothes too baggy and big for the scrawny, weak body. Glasses. A hand that clutched a wand as if it were a lifeline.

“What the _fuck_ are you supposed to be?” 

“Me? I’m Harry Potter, Golden Boy of the Wizarding world. Best friends with Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. I do what I’m told and get myself half-killed while protecting the small and innocent.”

Dopple-Harry walked closer in a loose, circling fashion. 

“I live with the Dursleys who hate me, but what can you do- they’re family. Not like I have anyone else, so I’m pretty stuck. I hate snakes, fear being called a Dark Lord..”

Boy buried his face into his hands. “You’re fucking kidding me…”

“Just look at what you could have been!” Harry spread his arms out wide. “Or what you could be. You’ve been acting awfully good lately. Normal. Weak. Pathetic. Just what would the Slender Man think of you right now, huh? What would your brothers think? Jeff should have left you in that closet..”

Neville paused at the large BOOM, lips pursed together as the door behind him shuddered and dust blew out of the keyhole. He was pretty sure that at this point neither Professor Lupin or Snape were going to believe a word he said, so….

Neville turned around and pushed the door open, running inside. 

“Harry!”

The room was destroyed. No other way to put it. The back half where the wardrobe had been was now a splintered and cracked crater. The wardrobe, and presumably the Boggart, were gone. Teeny tiny splinters of wood had been flung against the wall so hard that the stone looked fuzzy from the near complete covering. All in all, the room kind of looked a lot like the floor had during the Basilisk event.

“What in Gods name…” Lupin gasped.

Harry, standing in the middle of the room right between the two halves of the ruined and not ruined classroom, whipped around and glared at them. “FUCK. OFF.” There was a heavy push against Neville’s chest and he heard the teachers behind him stumble. 

Harry’s red eye was glowing. Not just glowing, but it shone with the brightness of a torch and it made Neville’s stomach knot with dread. Especially as Harry focused on the DADA Professor in the doorway, staring and snarling at the tall man. Neville knew that look, or at least a less intense version. Usually right before a brawl.

Neville lunged forward, feeling someone grasp the back of his robe for a precious second before ripping free. 

Foolhardy? Maybe. All he knew was that Harry was going to attack Lupin if someone didn’t do something. If he killed Lupin, he’d be sent to Azkaban. If Harry was sent to Azkaban, then Neville would never see him again and that was _not_ happening. 

So Neville ran towards him, getting right up in his face. Placing a hand on either side of Harry’s head so he could force Harry to look at Neville and not the man he insisted was cursed and not to be trusted. “Harry!”

Harry snarled again, trying to shake Neville’s hands off. His own hands came up to grip Neville’s wrists so tightly that they would leave black and purple marks that would linger for weeks. Harry easily could have broken Neville’s wrists, or shoved him aside, or going by the room they were standing in, killed him. 

Neville knew this.

“Harry, you’re _done_. It’s gone. There’s nothing _left_ of it. There are no card games in Azkaban!”

Harry growled. This close Neville could see that his pupils had dilated so badly that his green eye was a mere ring around the black center. His red eye was the same, but glowing so brightly the light took over completely. It left Harry looking a bit demonic but this was _Harry_. 

Something finally broke through the haze, and Neville could tell because the iron grip on his wrists relaxed minutely. “You defeated the Boggart. Prob’ly won’t find another one in a hundred mile radius even,” Neville babbled. “You’re gunna be the Boogeyman for the Boggarts I bet. They’ll be looking for you in _their_ closets.”

Harry barked out a laugh, eyes pinned to Neville’s. It was distracting to watch as his pupils contracted to a more normal size, the brilliant ruby red of his right eye fading out. Not turning off, but it faded to a comfortable glow that was pretty usual for a darkened room.

“”You’re such a dork,” Harry said, with a fondness that didn’t fit the setting at all. He released Neville and pressed the boy away much more gently to shake himself out. Rotating his shoulders, rolling his head and making his neck crack.. Yeah, he was good now.

Harry leaned to the side to peer around Neville to greet the Potions Master in the usual way. Completely ignoring the pale DADA Professor ‘cause fuck him.

“ ‘sup Professor?”

“Congratulations Mr. Potter. You’ll be the first student in Hogwarts history to have detention for every day of the year,” the Potions Master sneered. The paleness of his cheeks though, he hadn’t been unaffected by the tense moment. 

Lupin was even paler though, and he’d armed himself with his wand. 

Neville’s eyes narrowed when he noticed that. A teacher that would attack a student? 

“You just like having me at your beck and call,” Harry complained easily. “But now that this is over with I'm... just gunna go back to my commons now…” 

Snape’s sneer deepened. “No, I believe you have some work to do.” He waved a hand, the movement slightly jerky, towards the back part of the room where it was… well… wrecked. While the crater didn’t go through the floor down to the room below, it was still a deep hole. And then the cracks and the splinters..

“I suggest you work quickly.”

Harry made a face but turned around to-

“Now wait just a minute here!” Lupin shouted. “You can’t possibly be meaning to leave it at that! A detention? He’s out past curfew, destroyed my classroom, and ruined a creature integral to my exams! And _you_ of all people are going to let him get away with it?” He was speaking to Snape now, and the speed of which his face went from ghostly white to cherry red had to have hurt.

"While I realize this night has been very stressful for you, Lupin, please keep up," Snape snapped. " If Mr. Potter has broken something, then it is first and foremost his responsibility to fix it. Once that is dealt with we can discuss the proper punishment for the rest of his transgressions. Wouldn't you agree, Mr. Potter?"

Going by the look of disinterest, Harry had completely written off the situation already. Not even bothering to respond to Snape, Harry continued to stare hard at the ruined floor and wall. He knew he could fix a room _with_ his wand, so might as well go for the gold and fix it _without_ the stupid thing. 

Neville could almost see the magic flow from him and outwards in a hazy wave. The cracks in the floor snapped together seamlessly, the hole itself bulged and bubbled until the stone smoothed out. The wall with it’s heavy coat of wooden splinters shuddered until the pieces fell out and covered the floor. 

...that’s where it ended and Neville couldn’t help but feel a little disapproving. “Not going to fix the wardrobe too?”

Harry, with a miffed little glance at him, glared at the pile of shards. Which then… did absolutely nothing. Not even twitch. Neville pressed a hand over his lips as the slightly irritated expression dissolved into completely offended. “Can’t do it?”

“YOU do it!” 

“I didn’t break it,” Neville reminded him smugly.

“Then it looks like Mr. Potter will be returning here when he can,” Snape interrupted. “Perhaps some research on the properties of wood and transfiguration? I know how skilled you are in that area.. shouldn’t take you long _at all_.”

Neville knew that Harry didn’t care for transfigurations, or McGonagall, and grinned as Harry pouted. Tugging on his ponytail, Harry asked- “can’t I just.. ask Flitwick for a charm or something?”

As Snape stared down at Harry, Neville could swear he saw amusement. That same little glint that he’d seen when Hannah had decided she liked Snape more than Lupin. 

“ _No_.”

Lupin did not like to be ignored, as it turned out. “And now what? You’re just going to cater to his bad behavior? His complete disrespect towards school property and clearly defined rules? I will be having a conversation with Dumbledore about this, Snape! This is… beyond excusable!”

Yup, that glint was definitely there. More like a gleam now as Snape smirked at his fellow teacher. “I look forward to your attempt. Do let me know what Dumbledore decides is appropriate. Potter, Longbottom, follow.”

Neville grabbed Harry’s sleeve and tugged just in case he’d stopped paying attention again. He wondered if, amidst the chaos and professional undermining, it had been completely forgotten that Neville had been a part of it all. So far so good… no detention or even a scolding. Cool.

Unless your best friend was a back-stabbing traitor. 

“Hey, what about Nev?” as Harry jerked his thumb towards the Gryffindor. “How come I gotta look up how to transform toothpicks into a cabinet, and he gets off scot free- OW!” Ending with a yelp as said Gryffindor retaliated with a vicious pinch to the side.

“Oh yes, can’t forget that little detail..” Snape snarked. “How kind of you to remind me Mr. Potter, that your friend has not yet been punished. How responsible of you.”

As Harry went back to pouting like the oversized toddler he was, Neville just sighed. “Can I be banned from broom flying?” he asked hopefully. Once Harry got his broom back, of course he’d want Neville to try it out… Nope. Not happening.

The response Neville got made it even more clear just how much Snape liked toying with Lupin, which was at least _slightly_ more than he how much he disliked Gryffindors in general.

“That sounds agreeable. From henceforth, Mr. Longbottom, you are banned from using a broom on school property. I hope this will remind you not to continue breaking the school rules, especially that of Professor Lupin.” 

When Harry opened his mouth to protest, or argue, or say whatever it was that was running through his warped little brain, Neville pinched him again. “Shut. Up.” He ignored the look of reproach and pulled him along. 

Tomorrow was going to be fun. Neville knew McGonagall would find out about tonight and want to have another chat with him. Made him wish he had Harry’s talent for tuning people out. Of course, MCGonagall liked brooms and Quidditch, she’d think the ban appropriate. Hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> I want to thank each and every one of you readers and commenters, I appreciate every word and I hope that I can continue to amuse you for a while to come :D


	15. Catching Up

Lupin continued to hold a grudge over the next few weeks, almost like he’d been taking lessons from McGonagall in how he harassed Harry about his homework, his attention in class, his tendency to doodle inside his textbook..

Harry had heard that Lupin wanted to take over more of Harry's detentions, something about how Harry obviously wasn’t feeling punished by his near-nightly visit to the dungeons, but Snape had put his foot down. The Potions Master was turning into some sort of bat-winged Guardian Angel and Harry was amused by the image. 

Saying that within Snape’s hearing though, Harry had been banished to a mountain of utterly filthy cauldrons caked with boiled-over sludge. 

Eh. Could have been worse. 

“I was visiting the Thestrals and feeding them bacon when I ran into the baby Raven that’s been hanging around Hufflepuff,” Harry chattered mindlessly as he filled one sink with cauldrons to soak and worked on gouging out chunks from the worst. 

“She feeds them too because she has no friends in the Tower, which is weird ‘cause yeah she’s strange but she’s strange in a wizarding way. I don’t get why people get mad about her talking about animals that they can’t see when hardly anyone can see the Thestrals and they obviously exist.”

He never really paid attention to what he said during detention, wasn’t like Snape was listening to him anyways. Harry was just talking to talk since there was no radio or tv to listen to. It was too damn quiet. 

“But we were feeding the Thestrals bacon and ham when this big dog came up. Poor guy was skin and bones, I guess it got lost wandering too far from Hogsmeade. Magic dogs are pretty smart though, and he was good at not snapping the hand literally feeding him. Knows how to play fetch too.” Very pretty too, with all that gold haloing the black fur. 

Harry knew Smile Dog wasn’t actually Jeff’s dog, or anyone elses dog for that matter, Smiley was way too smart to be someone’s pet, but.. he did tend to prefer Jeff over the other Proxies. When not trying to steal Boy’s tower-room that is. 

Boy wanted a dog. Mimi was adorable and he loved her, but dogs were different.

“If he’s gunna be hanging around for awhile then I’ll keep feeding him. And if I keep feeding him he might wanna come home with me. Can’t be too hard to smuggle a dog onto the train home, he’d fit into a trunk easily. Might have to drug him though to keep him quiet…”

Harry considered this, tapping the bristle brush against the cauldron. “...how do you drug a dog?”

Couldn’t be hard. Hide it in some food and you were done. But a magic dog would need a magical sedative right? Was there an apothecary- of course there was an apothecary in Hogsmeade. Harry just needed a way to ask about what to use to safely drug a dog to make them be quiet without asking for a way to safely drug a dog to make them be quiet. 

Maybe Neville would know. Harry liked the plants in the greenhouse because they were dangerous, but Neville knew what they were _for_. 

Harry shrugged and went back to picking at the solidified slime. He wished he could use his nails or something to pry it loose, but the gloves weren’t thin enough. And he wasn’t allowed to take them off cause some of the potions could be acidic and would burn the skin right off his fingers. Harry preferred to have his fingers. 

“He’s all skin and bones,” wait he’d already said that.. “..but he’ll be looking better in no time. I should bring a brush next time cause he’s all covered in burrs and mud. Ernie wouldn’t mind. It’s for a good cause.”

Biggest chunks removed, Harry added the cauldron to the set already soaking. It was a fucking nuesance that he was the only Hufflepuff to still need a footstool to reach the back of the sink and turn the water on. But unlike Hannah or Susan, at least he could pick up a full cauldron without needing help. He settled it on the top of his odd little pyramid, the upper cauldrons resting on the rims of the ones below. 

Next!

What had he been saying?

“Some people have cats, and some people have frogs, or snakes, or tarantulas, why can’t someone have a dog as their pet? Can’t be that big of a hassle. Smarter than cats at least. Cats are too sneaky too, dogs are a lot more clear when they want something. Cats will hiss at you even if they like you ‘cause they’re cats.”

 _Especially_ the fat ginger tomcat that prowled around with a face like someone had hit it with a shovel. Neville said it was Crookshanks, Hermione’s new cat. If Harry found it stalking Mimi one more time, he was going to skin it for a new hat. 

Mimi was just as much allowed to wander around the castle as any of the other pets! Look at Ron’s stupid rat, that thing was always found wandering around. Or Neville’s toad. Now there was a creature that needed a goddamn leash…

Speaking of.. 

“Susan says if I don’t stop running off in Hogsmeade she might put me on a leash. Which is just fucking rude. I don’t try to put her on a leash. And I got distracted! So sue me! Not like I had gone very far and she knew _where_ I was going, so I don’t know what her problem was. Unless she was joking. But you don’t joke about that, people can take their fetishes very seriously and when you’re just some kids out buying candy you don’t want that sort of attention. She needs to give it a few more years before breaking out the whips and chains like the closet Dominatrix she is.” 

Harry flinched and glanced back over his shoulder as something shattered. Looked like Snape had dropped his teacup for some reason. Harry blinked at him as the man waved his hand at the mess and banished the broken porcelain. Looking up and catching Harry’s gaze, Snape snapped- “back to work! At this rate you’ll never be finished.”

Harry made a face and returned to his scrubbing. Snape should be glad for Harry’s conversation, stuck there going over all the essays people had turned in. But noo… Harry got no appreciation.

“Maybe if you didn’t let everyone screw up their potions so badly…” he muttered quietly, “...I wouldn’t be here for fucking ever.” 

Except then he’d have to go serve detention with Lupin or McGonagall. Harry decided to zip his lips and be grateful for the work. He did sleep better afterwards. And he didn’t have to try and find a way to work out his arms. Harry didn’t have the most muscular form, but it was important to keep up what little he had!

The constant scrubbing was keeping him fit!

Yeah, that was a good enough reason. 

“Roger actually joined the running group, even after all the teasing. I think he’s doing it to prove a point but that’s fine, exercise is exercise no matter how spiteful the reason. He doesn’t blush as much anymore when I bring it up, which is kind of heartbreaking but that just means I need to try harder.”

While it was tempting to tease Roger about Hannah, it was more fun to tease him _with_ Hannah. If Harry upset Hannah, then she wouldn’t joke with him about how cute the other students were. Between them they had come up with a pretty reliable ranking system. She still thought some of Harry’s choices were a bit odd, but he was getting better at picking out the more conventionally good-looking ones. 

A boring but serviceable skill for later. Even if it did make Harry uncomfortable with the idea that some of his brothers would be considered less good looking than others.. What was wrong with looking unique? Scars, and his especially, were cool and everyone else could fuck right off. And that reminded him-

“. . . I think Lupin’s a werewolf,” Harry decided out loud. The scratchy sound of a quill against parchment stopped. “I’m serious! He has all those scars on his face right?” Not that Snape was arguing the point, hadn’t even looked up from his paperwork, but Harry continued on as if he had. 

“Liu went shopping with me the first time we had to go to Diagon, and people kept giving him dirty looks or refusing to talk to him ‘cause they said he looked like a werewolf. If Lupin has scars on HIS face, then people must think he’s a werewolf too. And if it’s that common of a sign for being a werewolf, then it has to be proof too. Not for Liu though. He’s got scars cause of Jeff, and Jeff’s not a werewolf.”

Boy squinted into the cauldron, both looking for leftover bits and to think that over. “Well.. he doesn’t change forms.”

Jeff _was_ pretty moody.

And he liked claws. 

Maybe Jeff was a werewolf sympathiser. Fetisher? But he didn’t try to grope Smile Dog, so probably not. And he didn’t seem to like Eyeless’ claws, just Laff’s. Yeah, it had to be a clown thing. Boy should get him an Pennywise doll for Christmas at some point, that should be funny.

“. . .are there wizarding clowns?” That would be odd. If everyone could do magic, what would the point be for a magic show or a circus with people doing more magic? Be like normal people showing off that they could use a pencil or turn on a radio.

Ok, this cauldron was being a bitch. Boy reached down into his boot, today’s hiding spot, and pulled out a slender knife. Using the very tip, he delicately picked at the grime until he wiggled it loose from the iron without scratching the metal. 

“Jeez.. what were they even trying to make.”

Shit he’d lost track of what he’d been saying again. Clowns, claws, werewolves… oh yeah.

“But if Lupin is a werewolf then you making us read the chapter on them and write an essay on how to figure out what a werewolf looks like would be stupid. Especially if it’s a secret and you’re not supposed to tell us. Why would you.. want…”

Boy paused, knife brought dangerously close to his face as he considered this train of thought more carefully. Snape didn’t like Lupin, not at all. To the point he was willing to skip punishing Neville, a Gryffindor and a kid Snape had loathed with every fiber in his being during their first year. 

“...yeah okay that makes sense. He sucks as a teacher anyways. Hannah cried when she had to finally meet the replaced Boggart and it drenched her with water and tried to drown her, but did he actually do anything? Noooo. Just gave her a potion to calm down. No wonder the Gryffindors are so screwed up, they’re being taught that their mental health doesn’t matter so long as they can keep charging forward.”

Except Neville of course, Harry had made sure of that. Broken arms meant nothing compared to broken brains!

Harry gave up on the cauldrons altogether as he started to wave his hands around, knife included.

“And THAT’S another thing! Neville is constantly being harassed by almost every single person in his House and does the Old Bat try to stop it? Of COURSE not. I could almost admire this mentality of Survival of the Fittest but come on! And people wonder why he won't spend time with them? Sure as fuck isn’t because he feels welcome!”

“ _Mr. Potter_. When you are finished with your histrionics, you may leave. I have had enough of your nonsense for one night.”

“But I’m not done!”

“I assure you that you are.”

Harry tossed the scrubbing brush into the sink, hitting a cauldron dead center and sending it to the bottom of the watery sludge. “ _Fine_ ,” sulkingly. Wasn’t like he wanted to continue talking about how frustrating it was that everyone treated Neville like he was a simpleton. Neville was smarter and better than all of them and one day Harry would prove it. 

So-fucking-there.

Harry peeled off the leather gloves and rolled his sleeves down. Before he could leave, Snape cleared his throat. When Harry saw he was holding out a hand, his sulk deepened. Stomping over to the Potion master’s desk, Harry slapped down the little knife he’d been using. 

“It’s part of my potions kit.”

“Then next time leave it in your potions kit. Be gone.”

“I’m going to ask Draco out on a date to spite you.”

“Duly noted and disregarded. Now _get out _.”__

__Harry waited till the man was looking down at his papers before sticking his tongue out. When Snape’s head snapped up to glare at him, Harry took his obnoxious behavior and scooted out the door. Making sure it was shut firmly, Harry paused a moment to remove a small knife from his robe pocket, and placed it into his right boot. Much better. A bit small, but still usable._ _

__You know… Harry had been wanting to see what the Slytherin commons looked like. And here he was with time on his hands and no hope of springing Neville out of his own detention upstairs..._ _

__Why not?_ _

__All he had to do was find a Slytherin and tell them to let him in, right? Couldn’t be too difficult, they loved him. He was their Dark Lord!_ _

__Actually… maybe Harry _would _ask Draco out on a date for the next Hogsmeade, just to see people freak out. They’d have to put it off until after Christmas because Harry was booked and Hannah might honestly kill him if he ditched her next weekend, but should be worth it.___ _

____Except.. asking Draco would end up with too much work for Harry. Better if he made Draco ask _him_ so that the Slytherin would have to worry over all the date-related nonsense instead. Perfect!_ _ _ _


	16. Dog Days

“We aren't friends,” Neville hissed. “We’re barely acquaintances. You’re a bossy know-it-all who _has_ no friends so kindly _fuck off_.”

Neville didn’t care that Hermione’s eyes had gone shiny with tears or that her lips were trembling, he was done with her constant attempts to boss him around. You’d think after a couple years she’d have gotten a clue.. 

“You’ve changed,” the girl’s plaintive tone further irritating Neville.

“Of course I have! At least people just ignore _you_ , try existing in a place where everyone actively hates your guts!”

Neville turned his back on Hermione and stalked to the portrait door. The dirty look he got from the Gryffindors loitering nearby was expected, and he knew what they’d do now. Even if Hermione was commonly ignored and mocked, now they’d flock to her and comfort her and blame Neville for being _mean_ and a _bully_. They’d treat her like a best friend for.. oh maybe a week before getting tired of her and ditching her again.

Neville could have felt bad about it. He might have last year, but like she said- he’d changed. As far as Neville was concerned, he’d changed for the better not for the worse.

Heh. Harry must have gotten bored waiting for him on the stairs, he was halfway up the wall to the next floor by the time Neville showed up. Harry had used another hair tie to bunch his robe up by his hip so as to not get it under his feet while feeling around for a picture frame to stand on. Thank Merlin that Harry preferred to wear jeans under his robes.

“I thought we were going down?”

Harry lifted his elbow to peer through the gap at Neville. “We.. are? I’m stuck. Should I go left or right?”

Neville eyed the wall. “...there’s a wall sconce to your left, but you’d have to jump. A picture frame to your right, but you’d have to go down first to go up.”

“Got it.”

Technically Harry was banned from climbing the walls.. but there were no teachers around. So that made it fair game. And it was just one floor, barely twelve feet. That it was the third floor and Harry was headed for the fourth… let’s keep that detail quiet. 

It was only a short while before Harry hit the fourth landing and he could trot back down the stairs. “Come on, let’s go! Cujo is waiting for us!” As if Neville was the one to make them late.

“Dog’s can’t tell time.”

“This is a magic dog, how the hell do you know he can’t? Just get moving, I want to see if he’s been using the shelter and if the heat charms stayed put.”

Winter had hit with a vengeance. Now was the time for thick cloaks and scarves. And gleaming, ruby-red Fire Snakes; Mimi’s head poked out occasionally near Harry’s throat, happily coiled around his neck. Having seen the trails of burnt paper she left in her wake, Neville was slightly concerned about her being right up against Harry’s bare skin..

Harry wasn’t. Obviously.

Harry and Neville stood on the edge of the courtyard and looked at the snow covered grounds for a moment. “...I don’t think we’ll be sneaking today…” Neville muttered. Any path they made towards the forest would be clear as day. The courtyard was clear, and the paths around the castle itself were well trampled. You could see the field where people had been playing.

But towards the forest itself was a broad band of pristine, pretty snow. 

“I think I have an idea…”

Harry’s confusion only grew as Neville led him around the castle and towards the Gamekeeper’s cottage. Hagrid seemed a little dubious of their request, probably because of Harry, but his delight at being able to show off his animals won out over his bad feelings. 

Therefore it was with actual Teacher Supervision that the boys entered the Forbidden Forest, all the way to the Thestral corral. Who still creeped Neville out, but less so than the giant black dog that waited with them. 

“Cujo!” Harry called out, taking a packet of ham out of his backpack. He held out a thick slice to the now not-so-skinny beast who took it happily. “Sit. Hey! Sit! THAT’S NOT-” And Harry was down. The dog was bigger than Harry when it stood up on his hind legs, front feet against Harry’s chest and licking at him. 

“Gross. Get away from me you flea-bitten mutt,” Harry groused, wiping his face clean of drool. 

Cujo just panted at him happily. Especially when Harry unwrapped the rest of the meat and cheese, using the napkin as a plate.

“I think he has a crush on you,” Neville grinned. “Give him another kiss.”

“Give _you_ a kiss,” Harry muttered. He continued to sit on the ground, scratching Cujo behind the ears. “Gunna sic my dog on you. He’ll give you a whopper.”

Neville considered his responses. And decided not to say any of them. He looked at the empty corral and Hagrid passing out chunks of meat to the invisible horses.. with the help of Luna. 

“Luna’s here.”

“Luna’s always here.”

“She’s wearing the candy.”

“Of course she fucking is,” Harry sighed. The lollipop hairstick had been joined by a headband decorated with mini raspberry gumdrops, picked up from their last trip to town. Harry just hoped she’d lacquered them or charmed them against going stale. She was turning into a mini sweetshop, though it might have been his fault for making sure the colors all matched..

“What should I get her next time? She already has a necklace of corks.”

Neville considered the girl. “A licorice whip, so she can use it as a belt.”

“Ugh.. What a waste of a good tool. Heh, waist.” Harry patted Cujo on the head one last time and stood up, brushing the snow from his cloak. He quietly hissed at Mimi who poked her nose out of his collar again to taste the air. And withdrew quickly. “Let’s see if the shelter survived.”

It was a rough creation, using spare poles and boards from the fence. Neville spotted a pink hair ribbon or two being used to tie the corner pieces together. It was fairly warm inside , toasty even, with a circle of dry and snow-free grass surrounding the shelter. Going by the dog hair on the blanket inside, Cujo used it liberally.

Wait... Blanket?

“Is that Roger’s missing cloak?”

“...no?”

“Mmmhm…”

Well the dog seemed to be settled and happy enough walking at Harry’s side and occasionally looking up at him. Harry insisted it was a magic dog and the intelligence in those big brown eyes was clear.. but Neville didn’t know of any magical dogs besides Krupps. He eyed the dog suspiciously.

If it was a Grim, surely someone would have died by now.

“Hello Harry. Neville. Have you come to practice your Patronuses?”

Harry’s back went rigid as she named the current bane of his life. Neville coughed a little to get Luna’s attention transferred to himself. “Not really, we came to see Cujo and the.. Thestrals. Now that you mention it though, this would be a good time. How’s yours coming along?”

“It’s not, but that’s not surprising. It really is a very difficult spell. To find a happy memory, and being able to hold onto it while casting, has been a challenge. I think I got a few wisps the other day, but that might have been the Nargles.”

Neville nodded, careful to keep his expression serious. “I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it eventually.”

Ever since the Dementors visit to the Quidditch Field, never mind that they weren’t supposed to be allowed on school grounds, the student body had found a new bone to chew on with their worries and gossip. The Patronus spell had never been so popular after witnessing the teachers use the silvery, ghostlike animals to drive the creatures away. 

The seventh and sixth years were the most successful of at least producing a sort of misty shield. Less than a third managed to conjure a recognizable animal. And Harry, who could kill a Basilisk and blow holes into Hogwarts, couldn’t manage even the smallest wisp of smoke.

The sheer randomness of what Harry could and couldn't do was getting hilarious, though Harry didn’t appear to be appreciating the humor.

Harry looked down at his dog, scratching him behind the ears. “Need to get you a collar,” he muttered and ignored the Patronus talk. Stupid Patronus. How infuriating. “Who needs a stupid ghost to chase away the monsters,” he sulked. How anyone, _anyone_ , could think of a happy thought and stay with that happy thought when there were Eldritch horrors hovering about, was beyond him.

Be like fighting Slender Man with pixie dust. The better option would be to run the fuck away, not try to face them.

Cujo whined, trying to lick at his hands. 

“Glad _someone_ agrees with me.”

Harry gathered his cloak around his legs and sat down in the snow. If Luna and Neville were going to practice the stupid spell then he might as well get comfy. He pulled Cujo down with him and wrapped an arm around the dog’s neck to keep him close. Harry was comfortably warm himself, Mimi at his neck and wearing his hoodie under his robe. His cloak was thick enough to keep the cold snow under him at bay.

Yeah this was fine. 

Besides, if Neville was focusing on his spellwork, then he wasn’t noticing Harry watching him. Neville still got self conscious when Harry looked at him too long, and how was Harry supposed to be able to sketch him if he kept squirming?

Cujo seemed to enjoy the attention, eyes half closed as Harry rubbed the fur behind his ears.

“Susan cornered me the other day to say Nev has a crush on me, but that’s stupid. Ernie had a crush and it turned him into a fruitloop.” The dog tilted his head to the side, looking at Harry quizzically as the boy started to mutter. Catching the look, Harry clarified- “Not saying Nev isn’t fond of me, just saying it isn’t a crush. We’re brothers. Brothers don’t have crushes, they have bonds. That’s like saying Jeff has a crush on Laff.. it’s stupid. Susan is being a pain in my ass about Hogsmeade lately, so maybe I’ll just skip the next one.”

Maybe Susan was the one with the crush? Neville was looking _really_ good these days. He hadn’t been cursed with acne like poor Roger, nor was he all knobby knees and elbows like Justin. While Harry wouldn’t call him graceful, Neville had learned how to move efficiently. No flailing elbows or tripping over his own feet, he moved with purpose now and Harry could admire that. 

Harry could see why Susan would be attracted to all that, he’d do Nev too. Though.. Harry would have to wait for Neville to bring it up. Wizards were so _weird_ when it came to talking about sex that it wouldn’t be worth the hassle if Harry chose the wrong moment to ask.

Talk about a mood killer.

Sitting quietly next to the big (and warm) dog, Harry found himself yawning. Neville was so determined to make the Patronus spell work, Harry didn’t have the heart to be whiney and make him stop just to entertain Harry. 

Using Cujo’s back for a pillow, Harry decided it wouldn’t hurt to steal a quick nap. Flitwick would want him well rested and alert for the lesson on auras right? It kind of sucked that he didn’t get to work with the Charms teacher often, the man was awfully busy as a teacher AND head of house for his Ravenclaws, so Harry had to appreciate the time Flitwick made for him. 

Cujo was a good pillow. 

Getting shaken awake some time later, Harry just wished he’d stop getting dog hair up his nose. Sitting up and rubbing his face, Harry also thumped Cujo on the side for growling at Neville. “Shut it, dumb dog. You done?” The last bit was for Nev of course, not the dog. 

“You should have said something if you were that bored,” the Gryffindor scolded. He helped Harry up to his feet and brushed the snow off of him. 

“You were busy,” Harry struggled to get his eyes open. Perhaps a nap hadn’t been his smartest idea, he’d gotten too warm and comfortable and now his mind was all fuzzy. “Did you make it work?”

“No. I’m only a third year though..so I guess I shouldn’t expect it to.”

Squinting up at Neville as he trailed off, Harry scoffed. “You can do anything you _want_ to do. You just need to be more confident.”

“I’m not as powerful as you,” Neville tried to point out.

Now Harry was sleepy _and_ irritated. He grabbed Neville’s hand, the one holding the wand, and turned the boy around to face the clearing. Harry at least could see the Thestrals, lovely beasts that they were, and could aim Neville’s wand towards the large gaps between them. Trying to loosen his grip on Neville’s wrist in respect to the yellow bruises that lingered still, he made Neville trace small circles in the air with the wand.

Harry waited until Neville relaxed, chin hooked over the Gryffindor’s shoulder and eyes half shut. “Think of a happy thought. Beating up Ron cause he’s been an ass. Winning at poker and fleecing Blaise. Making the Old Bat go speechless in class...” Harry leaned into Neville’s back as he talked, making the Gryffindor carry most of his weight.

“Think about it.. hold it….. and release.”

“ _Expectro Patronum_ ,” Neville murmured. 

The Thestrals scattered in surprise, or in Harry’s view they did, as silvery smoke flowed out of the tip of Neville’s wand. It slowly condensed into a softly glowing, good sized beast that had Harry grinning into Neville’s shoulder. 

“...is that a _badger_?” Neville was torn between pleased and offended. And worried. It didn’t look like the sweet-faced badger Cedric had cast at the Quidditch match, one of the very few students to manage the spell as the Dementors flocked. His looked sort of… insane? 

“It’s an American Badger, not the European. Told you you could fucking do it.”

Off to the side, Luna added in her slightly-dreamy voice- “I suppose having the right motivation would certainly help.”

Neville went pink.

Behind all of them Cujo rolled his eyes. _Teenagers._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .
> 
>  
> 
> One of my fave pictures when thinking about Boy or Harry, is a comparison of an American Badger vs an European Badgers. It's great XD
> 
> https://i.redd.it/2hrpaazqcjx11.png


	17. Match Making

Harry opened a compartment door, stuck his head in to scan the occupants.. and slammed it shut when he didn’t see who he was looking for.

He moved down the train systematically, looking for one specific group of Slytherins because he had plans and Draco was not cooperating at all. Harry loved it. Sort of. When he wasn’t being annoyed by it. Blaise was nice enough but he was _too_ nice, always trying to help Harry with this or that or whatever it was Harry had complained about. What if Harry didn’t want help? What if he wanted to fucking argue about it? In that light, Blaise was even ruder than Draco.

Harry checked the next compartment, ignoring the fact that the door had technically been locked. 

Tilting his head to the side a bit- “..that can’t be comfortable.” Next!

The compartment two doors down from the sex dungeon was the winner.

“ _There_ you are. It’s like pulling teeth to make you talk to me,” Harry complained. He leaned into the door-frame instead of going inside. It looked too crowded for his tastes with what looked like most of the Slytherin third years present. “Draco! Stop ignoring me!”

The blonde glared at him. “I am not ignoring you, I am merely not paying attention to you, _Potter_.”

“Same thing. Ask me to Hogsmeade.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why?” 

“Because you’re _insane_ and I don’t _like_ you.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” As if astonished by the very idea that it would matter, Harry looked at the other students. The bookend trolls were avoiding looking at him, little Flower was glaring at him and possessively holding Draco’s arm. The good one. The sling was finally gone but Draco still tended to hold it close to his chest. Blaise, looking mortified but Draco’s entirely too blunt statement. The blonde Flower and her smaller blonde likely-a-Flower sister. Burly Not-Flower and the other boy. Leo. Neo. Theo?

“Ask me to Hogsmeade,” Harry said again, insistently.

“WHY?” 

“Because I want to irritate Snape. Because the betting pool says you won’t. Because it’ll be funny to see people’s reactions. Because I don’t want to ask you, I can’t be bothered by all that fuss so you’re in charge of it. Ask me!”

“I’d rather shave my head,” Draco hissed. 

Harry sighed. He leaned away from the door and turned to Neville who was standing just out of sight of the Slytherins. “He won’t do it.” 

“Maybe he needs to talk to his father first,” Neville responded dryly.

Turning back to those inside, Harry said- “fine. Ask me when we get back from Christmas then if you need Daddy’s approval. And no Puddlefoots!” pointing a stern finger at the now furious blonde. He left them alone with that, slamming the compartment door shut. 

“Susan’s going to blow her lid,” Neville grinned. “You have to know by now that she’s been betting on you and I dating right? She’s put a lot of money down on that.”

“I thought we went together last time?”

“On a _date_.”

Harry stared at him blankly. “What’s the fucking difference?”

“...yeah, she’s gunna freak. Especially if he does ask you on the trip back.” 

Harry made a face and walked on. “Susan is too hyped up on this shit for all that talk about being too young. She says that dating is going out and having fun with people you like, right? So technically we’re all dating each other in a giant polygamous orgy. What’s the big deal?” Wait, was it still a date if one of the date partners hated the other? Was one-sided dating allowed? Draco better not try to use that to wiggle out of it.

“Why does everyone have to make it so damn complicated?” he whined. 

Neville listened to him complain all the way back towards their own compartment. Thankfully Harry had decided to leave Cujo at the school during the Holiday. Sneaking the dog back to Hogwarts would have been an even worse headache then getting Cujo out, and Harry liked having him around. Hagrid had promised to make sure Cujo was fed everyday and checked on.

If Harry got back to a frozen popsicle of a dog he was going to be furious.

Maybe as furious as Susan. 

“DID YOU SERIOUSLY ASK DRACO MALFOY TO BE YOUR HOGSMEADE DATE?”

“Of course not,” Harry responded reasonably. “I told him to ask me. Completely different.”

Susan growled. “You are severely testing my patience, Harry Potter.”

“Harry Potter- _Riddle_ ,” he corrected her with a grin.

“I swear to Merlin..” She turned on Neville who held up his hands in a don’t-look-at-me motion. “YOU are not helping. Why won’t y-”

“No.”

When Susan realized he wasn’t going to follow up on that, she tried again. “But you-”

“No,” Neville said. “It’s none of your business.”

Susan gaped at him, jaw nearly hitting her chest. “None of my business? You’re my FRIENDS!”

“And because we’re friends I’m going to very nicely tell you to knock it off and move on.”

“But-”

“Move. On.”

The steel in Neville’s tone caught Harry’s attention, looking over from where Hannah had yanked him down to sit on the floor with her. They were using her trunk as a table, and she was painting Harry’s nails a bright, shining red that turned orange and yellow as his hands moved. An early Christmas present from some sort of relative and it matched Mimi so beautifully that Hannah couldn’t resist.

Neville was impressed that in the small bit between Susan scolding Harry and trying to scold Neville, Hannah had almost managed to complete most of Harry’s left hand. Instead of answering the questioning look from Harry, “have you considered painting Mimi?”

“Nah, she burns too hot. It would burn the polish and reek.” Which meant yes, he had considered it, and then decided it would have been a bad idea.

With most of the floor space being taken up, Roger had put his boots up on the end of the trunk not being used, book on his lap. Ernie though was sitting sideways with his feet on the other end of the bench. That left the other bench seat for Justin and Susan and while Neville could have sat on the last bit of cushion… of course he’d sit on the floor with Harry.

“Has anyone seen Luna?”

“I think she went to go find Colin. Camera boy,” Ernie clarified at Harry’s raised eyebrows, “because she’s curious if people might be able to see Thestrals in a photograph even if they can’t see them in person. She should have asked him before we left Hogwarts, so she’ll have to wait until we come back to find out now.”

“Huh. That could be cool.” Harry knew photographs could do weird things. That’s how normal people tried to find ghosts and things. The Slender Man had been captured on film here and there, but the more electronic it was the worse it came out. Had to go really old school if you wanted a good picture. 

“I am so looking forward to having a break from classes.” Hannah of course. She wasn’t a bad student, her grades were slightly above average, but she still appreciated not having to worry about homework. “Especially Defence Against the Dark Arts.”

“I’m getting worried about our OWL year,” Justin grimaced. “First year was Quirrel and his stuttering. Second year was Lockhart for the first half, and while Dumbledore was good, it was very rushed to cover what Lockhart should have. And now we have Professor Lupin who’s…”

“A werewolf.”

Susan wagged a finger at Harry. “You can’t go accusing people of being a werewolf, it’s like.. accusing you of being a Lestrange. Absolutely untrue and gives people biased thoughts!” 

Harry loved Susan when she was trying to be stern and serious like her aunt. Even when she failed, it never ceased to amuse him.

“What, you haven’t noticed? Snape took over his class, right? During the full moon and every full moon since,” before Susan could argue that time was meaningless. “Even if we didn’t have a class with him, Snape covered the day before and the day after for Lupin. And Lupin’s got scars on his face.”

“Well.. lots of people have scars… You should see some of the aurors my Aunt knows.”

“But when my brother Liu comes to Diagon Alley with me, people are mean to him because he’s got scars on his face and they think he’s a werewolf. If it’s that big of a sign of werewolvism, than I think it’s very suspect for Lupin to be scarred up _and_ he’s sick on full moons.”

All that time in detention to babble his thoughts out loud had been very helpful. Snape might not have appreciated the endless chatter but then he never appreciated anything unless it was picking on his least favorite people.

Neville had already heard Harry’s train of thoughts on Lupin’s supposed illness, so he merely looked uneasy. The others looked a lot more horrified. “A werewolf? In Hogwarts? _Teaching_?” Hannah almost forgot to finish Harry’s right hand, but she held off her hand-wringing until she dabbed his pinky with the red polish and then carefully capped the tiny bottle.

“Is that even legal?”

“Dementors prowling the school, Black sneaking around inside, why not a werewolf teacher? at this point, what else could they do to put us in danger? Invite Vv... .the D… _Him_ in for tea?”

Harry couldn’t help a small giggle. The idea of Voldie, all twelve feet of his pale scaliness, curled up in a dainty chair with a table set with fine china… flowered hat on his head. Tail tip wrapped around the handle of a teacup. Yeah, Harry definitely needed to sketch that later. Tape it to the side of Voldie’s tank.

Now able to properly wring her hands in distress, Hannah asked- “does your Aunt know about this Susan? Maybe you should ask her. If she thinks it’s safe then I would feel a whole lot better about this. Do you think our parents know? Should we ask?”

Harry hadn’t meant to ruin the mood with his comment. Neville had said it would upset the Hufflepuffs, but Harry hadn’t thought it’d be that bad. Werewolves were kind of cool weren’t they? Fast, strong, good nose... Lupin made a lot more sense now, and Harry wasn’t nearly so worried about him. Knowing why the man had black splotches in his Aura had been a relief. 

Could have been something a lot worse.

It took teasing Roger about getting all nice and sweaty during the morning runs, with special emphasis on the clean up afterwards, and then mocking Ernie for spending so long in the bathroom ‘grooming’, to get the mood to lighten. When the boys were suitably riled up and and pink, Harry eyed Hannah. 

She eyed him back. 

“Do your worst.”

Harry thought about it for a moment, then leaned over the trunk table and purred at her- “I bet Roger would love to show you the benefits of all that exercise he’d been getting. Give you a very _hands on_ experience.”

Hannah tapped a finger against her bottom lip as she considered this. Her own nails had been painted a very lovely pale blue, almost a match for her eyes. “..no. Too obvious after all that teasing you gave poor Roger. You need more subtly. You’ll never get anywhere with such corniness.”

Harry leaned back against the base of the bench seat and pouted. “Roger likes my corniness.”

“You’re thinking of Neville,” Hannah corrected with a smug little smile. “Roger isn’t nearly so infatuated with you and therefore has much higher standards.”

Neville absolutely did not react to Hannah’s claim, and just patted Harry on the knee consolingly. “I’m sure you’ll think of something to make her blush later.”

Harry kept his sulk up for the rest of the trip, out of the sheer goodness of his heart. If they were focused on teasing him and poking fun at him for acting like a child, then they weren’t worrying about Lupin. Hannah seemed to know what he was up to, she did the same thing often enough herself, and winked at him with a little smile. 

Harry still refused to bring his whole damn trunk home every vacation, so he just had to sling his backpack over a shoulder. He didn't understand why the others chose to do so… something about getting their clothes re-fitted? Fresh supplies? 

Eh.

Harry caught sight of the two Gryffindors who had drooled over Hannah in Hogsmeade forever ago, and glared at them. Harry had been asked about the incident in the bathroom, but with six alibis he was in the clear. The boys scattered.

Oh, there was Draco… “Oi! Draco!” Ignoring the attention Harry was getting from nearby people and Draco’s own father, “don’t forget about Hogsmeade! _No Puddlefoots_!”

Draco wasn’t the sort of Wizard to make a rude hand gesture while in public, but Harry could tell he dearly wished to. Harry adored this new Draco, he was much more fun to play with than the coward from last year. 

The Weasley clan was in full force, minus of course the baby girl. Mother Weasley wasn’t looking too good, her clothes were hanging off her pale figure as she hugged each of her sons. Ron and the Twins had been fairly quiet this year… odd. 

Luna caught his attention next, the pale girl was introducing Camera Kid to what had to be her dad, what with the same long, pale hair and oddly layered robes. She looked happy enough in her sweets-themed accessories, so Harry didn’t try to call out a farewell. 

Which reminded him… 

“Come home with me,” catching Neville by the wrist. “It’ll be fun. You’ll meet my brothers and.. you’ll meet everyone. You can.. play tag with us on the roof. Just.. come with me,” Harry implored. He knew it was a bad idea, he had already seen Masky waiting by the pillar near the exit. But the idea of losing Neville for two whole weeks? It was going to suck.

“Please?”

Neville shook his head slowly. “I can’t. You know how my Gran is, she’d tear apart England looking for me. She’d have you thrown in jail for kidnapping. I can’t.”

Harry’s face fell. “Yeah… I know.” He released Neville’s wrist. “See you in two weeks?” 

“Two weeks. You’ll barely even notice it,” Neville told him with a crooked smile. 

Nodding, Harry left him. It had been a bad idea, a terrible one, but he was still feeling crushed. He couldn’t even bring up a smile for Masky as the taller boy lead him out of the crowded train station.


	18. Story Time

“So… tell me about him.”

“Tell you about who,” Boy sulked from the back seat. He didn’t care about the seat belt, he was sitting curled up with his back against the door and legs out over the seat. He could have sat in the front seat but he hadn’t felt like it. He wanted to sulk.

“The boy who’s got you looking like a hound dog. The dark haired one you were saying goodbye to at the train. Is that the kid from London? Do I need to go kick his ass?”

“ _No_ ,” Boy snapped. “Leave him alone. He’s _mine_.”

“Ahuh.” Masky drove with one hand on the wheel and one arm draped against the window ledge. Completely relaxed. “So tell me about him.”

Why not?

“He’s a Gryffindor which means he’s stuck with a bunch of bone-headed jackasses. He’s smarter than all of them combined and they know it, so they’re constantly trying to beat up on him.” Boy resisted the urge to kick something. If he broke the car Masky would kick his ass. 

“And I can’t DO anything about it ‘cause I’m in a different house, so I’ve been teaching him to spar. He’s.. getting better? And he backs me up when I wanna do something stupid when I’m bored. He doesn’t think he’s as good as I am at things but he is, so I have to keep forcing him to try harder so he can see how amazing he is.”

“Amazing, huh?”

“Oh shut up. He’s the only reason I’ve not gone completely bonkers at that stupid school.”

“Mmm… this kid got a name?”

Boy hesitated. There was power in names, though he couldn’t say how. Power in Masky and Hoody and Eyeless Jack. His name would have power some day, though he wasn’t sure about ‘Harley’ anymore. It was his baby name, but Harry was his wizard name.. Neither of them truly fit anymore. 

“Neville.”

“Interesting.”

Boy was getting suspicious now. He swung his feet to the floorboard and leaned in between the front seats. “Why are you asking me about Nev? Why haven't you asked before?”

“Curiosity I suppose. And I have asked, you always got squirrely about it and ran off before I could get any info. Sounds like an interesting kid. But If you two are screwing around out there, don’t let Jeff hear of it. He’s only recently stopped snarling at Liu.”

“Maybe if I had fooled around with Laugh instead, he’d not have been such a bitch about it,” Boy muttered.

“Don’t even joke about that, Laughing Jack would’ve carved you up like a Jack’0’Lantern with those claws of his.”

Boy sat back with a thump. “Toby then. Everyone likes Toby.”

“Toby would have lost track mid-way and left you hanging in the wind,” Masky laughed.

Boy tried not to get a mental image of that. “..you?”

“Hell no. I’m way too.. ahh.. old. Liu at least is only sixteen and a lot.. skinnier.”

“Then what’s Jeff’s problem? Is it because I didn’t ask him?”

“Eh. Not really. He’s just having a hard time letting go of the ‘baby’ in baby brother. That, and he hates being left out of the loop almost as much as he hates cute fluffy bunnies.”

Boy wiggled until he could lay down on the back seat, knees bent because he wasn’t that small and the car wasn’t that big. “You’re saying.. he wanted to watch?” smirking up at the roof of the car because the longer he thought about it the funnier it got. If teasing Roger about masturbating was fun, teasing Jeff was going to be fucking hilarious. As long as Boy stayed out of stabbing range, that is

“You know, I would almost pay you to ask him that,” Masky announced.

“Fifty bucks.”

“Deal. I’ll carve you a magnificent gravestone.”

While it still itched to know that Neville wasn’t going to be around, Boy found that he really was happy to be going home for a bit. A good couple of weeks of chaos and fun!

Except.. who would watch out for Neville? Boy had eight brothers to keep an eye on him, Neville didn’t. Just a fucked up family that had only tried to kill him a handful of times to force some magic out of him. And then STILL treated him like an idiot AFTER he finally did so. And THEN-

Masky hit the brakes. Hard. Boy rolled right off the seat and slammed face first into the back of the passenger seat. Add in the giant plastic cupholder nestled on the floor.. meant that Boy was knocked breathless to go with his split lip.

“WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” Once he stopped wheezing at the completely unreasonable stop.

There was a series of shrill, complaining hisses from the teapot he’d kicked on the way down, and Boy had to pull out poor Mimi to console her. 

“Deer. Put your seatbelt on.”

“ _Mother fucker_ …” since he wasn’t feeling so mopey anymore, Boy climbed through the gap and into the front seat, Fire Snake wrapped around his throat. Once sitting on the passenger side he yanked the seatbelt over his chest and clipped it in. “Fucking happy now?”

“Got you up here, so yeah. Don’t bleed on the upholstery.” 

They weren’t moving. Boy looked out the front window, but they were just on some road. They had to be somewhat close to home because all he saw was trees, no houses. “Where are we?” He was getting an odd sense of deja vu from his runaway trip to Diagon Alley. Boy eyed Masky nervously. 

“You’re not going to yell at me again are you?”

Masky tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “No.. not yet at least. I’m sure you’ll end up doing something to be yelled at for later on. You’ve got time.” The older Proxy seemed to come to some sort of decision, but instead of saying it out loud like he should have, he just put the car back into gear and continued down the road. 

Boy was incredulous, but no matter how he whined Masky only replied with polite little hmms and ahuhs and basically ignored him completely the rest of the way home. The road dissolved into bits of gravel and mud once they hit the driveway and Boy started to roll his window down. 

“Climb out the window and I’ll skin you alive,” Masky told him with an absent sort of tone that meant he was still thinking about whatever it was.

Boy debated it for a moment… debated a second moment… and then climbed out the window. Or he started to, until Masky grabbed him by the ankle and dragged him back inside. One noogie that Boy would swear had left dents in his skull later, he was allowed to leave the car. Using the door. 

Jeff was the first to greet him, meeting him on the steps to the Castle front doors with a hug. The too-tight grip was a welcome touch though a bruising one, making Boy try to squirm free after a moment. Jeff dug his fingers into the back of Boy’s head to hold him in place. “Just wait a goddamn second.”

“People might think you missed me,” Boy snarked inside the hold. He finally hugged Jeff back as that seemed to be what Jeff was waiting for, and of course Jeff responded by squeezing even harder and making Boy’s ribs creak. 

“Shut the fuck up and get inside. We’ve been waiting for you and you took for-fucking-ever to show up.” 

Masky joined them with Boy’s backpack, holding it away from him by one strap as the canvas warped and bulged. “Do I even want to know…”

“It’s a book. For Liu.”

Jeff’s grip on the back of his head tightened, and Boy was pretty sure he felt some hair rip out before he got roughly shoved away. “Get inside.”

Boy stuck his tongue out at the Killer, and grabbed for his backpack as he ran for inside. He hadn’t actually meant to rub Liu in Jeff’s face, honest he hadn’t, but Liu was the book person of their family and the Monster book was just too cool _not_ to bring home. Neville would survive without it, not like the class was doing anything interesting anymore.

Everyone was in the Game Room. Laughing Jack was standing in the middle of the room, holding a game controller above his head and watching in amusement as Toby tried to jump up and grab it. Hoody and BEN and Eyeless were watching (or listening) from the couch, Hoody throwing popcorn at Toby each time he failed. Smiledog roamed the room and sucked up all the popcorn once it hit the floor.

“What’re we talking about?” Spotting Liu slouched down in the chair by the window, Boy bee-lined for him while opening his backpack. He pulled out the thickly furred Monster Book of Monsters and dropped it into the startled teens lap. “For the library! He eats bookmarks. And books. And drawings…” holding up a tattered piece of what used to be part of his sketchbook with a scowl.

Liu struggled to contain the book as the covers flapped open to show off a bookfull of teeth and a tongue. “The hell?”

Boy had already ditched him, dropping his pack to the floor now that he didn’t have to worry about the monster, and clambered over the couch to smoosh himself between Hoody and Eyeless. “What’re we talking about?” he asked again. 

Eyeless reached up to run his hand over the back of Boy’s head. It was less affectionate than the movement looked- he was checking Boy of injuries. Likely he smelled the blood from either Masky’s noogie from hell, or Jeff accidentally ripping out some hair. Or the split lip. “Proxy stories and the future,” Eyeless finally supplies.

“Oh. That sounds… serious?” Not exactly what Boy had been expecting to hear. 

Eyeless seemed content that Boy’s brains weren’t leaking out and pulled his hand away. “Very serious. We need to talk about your personal contributions too.”

Boy felt his stomach drop and face go cold. As if anticipating his reaction, Hoody dropped an arm over his shoulders. “See, there comes a time in a little Proxy’s life when his body starts changing and he starts to get urges..”

“Wrong talk,” Eyes interrupted drly.

Hoody paused, scratching at his chin under the cloth face-mask. “..you sure?”

BEN sighed heavily, pixelating for a brief moment in his place above the couch. “It turns out that introducing you as a Woods brother might have been a mistake,” he admitted. “It’s been a bit of a shit-storm online, and we’ve had to do some quick damage control. But anything long term had to wait till you got home.”

“People are pitching a fit about the initial report because you’re both too young and too old,” Eyeless added. “You’re too old to be Jeff’s son, but too young to be a brother after all this time. BEN’s been planting missing-child posters of kids that look like you.. which has helped.”

Boy’s anxiety only heightened at the news. “I can’t be Harley Woods?” He could still be a proxy though, right? Just not THAT proxy? 

Toby, doing some sort of pull-up on Laff’s arm as he stubbornly refused to give up on getting his controller back, “why not? Adopted.. is… adopted.. Whoa!” Because Laff was tired of holding his arm up while Toby kicked and squirmed and came thiiiis close to getting the toy… Laff just put his arm down and dropped Toby to the floor. NOT with the prize though, Laff tossed that at BEN. 

It sailed right through the ghost and smacked Masky, who looked less than amused. 

“Knock it off you two, this is serious.” 

“Serious as butterflies in a hurri-” Toby’s mouth snapped shut at the look Masky gave him. “I’ll be good.” He rubbed at his face as he considered the people already smooshed on the couch. Boy rolled his eyes at the puppy-dog expression and slid off the couch and onto the floor, letting Toby take his place between Hoody and Eyeless. 

Watching Toby lean into Hoody reminded Boy of how he tended to treat Neville. There was no need to squish the poor guy into the corner of the couch, but that wasn’t stopping Toby from doing it. When Jeff finally stomped in, he sat on the floor next to Eyeless’ legs and dragged Boy practically onto his lap to sit between his knees.

“I’m not a baby!” Boy whined. 

“Shut up.”

Boy was going to look like an abuse victim by the time he went back to Hogwarts if Jeff was going to keep being clingy. Jeff might not be able to feel how tightly he was gripping onto things, but Boy could and he could already tell his arms and shoulders were going to be covered in blue and purple finger marks.

“Alright. So we know the initial set-up failed, that’s done with. The question is, what can we salvage and where do we, where do _you_ , want to go from here?” Masky had his beloved mask in hand and was toying with the straps without putting it back on. That meant serious business indeed, that he didn’t want to be distracted or have himself be mis-heard.

“Umm what’re the options?” It was too broad of a question for Boy to handle. He just wanted to stick with his family and have fun, was that too much to ask?

“Well, we had this idea for a cult…”


	19. Pickled

Unlike Hogwarts, hot water at home was on the sketchy side. Which meant showers were done as quickly as possible because the water could go from hot to icy without warning or mercy. Or, they _should_ be done as quickly as possible but Boy always needed at least one reminder when he got back from school.

Boy’s teeth were still chattering after he’d dried off and gotten re-dressed. He and Hoody had spent the morning breaking up the ground that was the garden, because somehow snow was really good for the dirt? The Nitrogen? All Boy knew was that he was tired and cold and ready to do something a lot more fun. Soon as he figured out where everyone had run off to. With most of the castle closed off to keep the heat in, they couldn’t have gone far.. right?

No one in the Game room surprisingly, not even BEN was around and going by the TV he’d left the grounds completely. And no one in the kitchen.. Where the hell had everyone gone off to? It was barely the middle of the day! Basement next, Boy heading down the stairs from the Kitchen. At the bottom he ignored the door on the far right because no one bothered Slender if they didn’t have to, and turned left to check the prep room, or the washroom, first. 

That was another thing he’d started taking for granted at Hogwarts, all the invisible elf things that collected and washed and ironed and put away his clothes every night. All Harry had to do was kick open his trunk and pull out a clean robe and jeans and he was set.

Not so much at home.

Boy was wearing the cleanest of the clothes he’d left behind, but that wasn’t saying much.

The room was used both for washing, obviously, but also for the bulk of food prep because the smooth stone floor was easily hosed down and had a giant grate in the middle of the floor for all the water to go afterwards. No one was in the room but half a hitchhiker left to age with a haunch of deer. Not a Turk sadly, they still had to go shopping for Christmas dinner.

Ahah, Masky and Eyeless were in the tool room, which branched off the washroom to the left again. The pair of them were re-organizing the various tools and implements and utterly random crap people brought home for one reason or another. 

“Why do we have three branch cutters?” Masky wanted to know. 

“Outside, inside, and bodies.” Eyeless was on the floor going through a large jar to separate screws, nails, and knuts. And the odd tooth. Molars mostly.

“Fair enough… but which is which?”

“Whichever you grab first,” was the dry reply of someone who had given up on trying to keep them labeled.

Oddly enough, Masky didn’t appear to like that answer and started to look over the giant scissors carefully for knicks and blood. Boy coughed to get their attention and- “Isn’t it a little early for spring cleaning?”

“My sweet summer child, it is never too early for spring cleaning when you’re bored enough.”

Eyeless laughed a little, still running his fingers through the small metal pieces. “If you’re looking for Jeff, he’s out back with Toby. If there’s anything you wanna add to the bonfire you better collect it before dinner.”

“Kay. I think the tower sprung a leak somewhere, most of my papers have gone moldy and gross.” Which was disappointing since he’d lost a few favorites. Though as Jeff had pointed out a lot when Boy had been littler, drawings could always be redone so they were never lost forever.

Photos now.. that was a different story.

Not that they had many.

And were locked up. 

Anyways.

“Hey, my bat! I’ve been looking for that!” A complete and utter lie but he was still happy to see it.

Masky unhooked the tool from the wall, a leather strap knotted around the handle in order to hang it up, and tossed it to Boy. It was just as heavy as he remembered and had kept it’s well-polished sheen. 

“Take it with you, the twits are probably fighting by now so you’ll need to be armed.”

“Cool!”

“Wear a hat if you’re not going to dry your hair.” Trust Eyeless to be the sensible, boring one concerned about such nonsense things. How did he even _know_ Boy’s hair was still wet?

Boy rolled his eyes. Having absolutely no desire to go all the way back to his room for a stupid hat, he tucked the damp ends of his ponytail inside his sweatshirt collar. “I have a hood, close enough.” 

“Mmmhm…”

Boy stuck his tongue out at him and left them to their project. It couldn’t be all that bad anyways, they did have a sort of system down to make sure things were found after a little searching. Though since that in itself tended to scramble things even more… maybe it was that bad? Who cared! Boy had his bat and an idea on where to find Jeff, so everything was good!

Holy _fuck_ it was cold outside. Much colder than Boy thought it would be, but then he was used to carrying Mimi around his neck and his school cloak.. He spared a moment to reconsider his stance on hats. And a proper coat. Maybe an extra pair of socks..

...nah.

Boy shuffled through the snow past the chicken coop, not even Jeff and Toby messed with Masky’s precious chickens. If there were any left at this point. Past the churned up garden that Boy had slaved over all morning...

Boy still didn’t quite understand the need to mix the snow into the ground, wasn’t it just water? They could have watered it really well later in the year. Like in spring when water fights were actually fun. Bah. He just didn’t see the sense behind it..

Even if he had, getting a snowball to the face would have distracted him from the most sensible of things. But hey, he’d found Jeff! 

And Toby!

And the Kelpie!

Wait, what?

While Boy had forgotten about Toby’s suspicious water bottle back from the summer camping trip, Toby hadn’t. And want to know what happens when you take water from a Kelpie pond and dump it into a different pond across the country? You got a Kelpie portal! The great big Hellbeast could now come and go as he pleased, much to no one’s happiness but Toby himself. 

Though Jeff didn’t look as if he minded too much, cackling as he dodged the zombified horse intent on biting him. Toby nailed the Kelpie in the rump with another snowball and Jeff used the distraction to run off. Neither Proxy was armed in fear of losing another weapon, not when Boy was severely lacking in Kitkats to offer as a bribe, so it was just Proxy versus Fae in a high stakes game of tag. It was awesome.

Especially when the Kelpie moved less like a large horse in a forest, and more like a piece of stretchy taffy. it could wrap around a tree in ways that hurt Boy’s head, or stretch its neck up and _up_ like a mutant giraffe if someone tried to climb a tree to get out of reach.. 

The adrenaline rush was almost as good as a hunt.

“What _would_ have happened if he’d caught you?” Boy asked. Tried to ask. His head was being roughly shaken around as Jeff toweled him dry. Running around in mud and snow was hard work and Boy had worked up a sweat. Which the cold air had then tried to freeze solid everytime he stopped to catch his breath, leaving Boy both too hot and freezing at the same time and it was weird. Pretty sure his ears had fallen off ‘cause he couldn’t feel them anymore.

“Eh.. if you believe Liu then he’d take you back to the pond and fucking drown you. Or eat you. Or both.”

“Hopefully drown you first _then_ eat you, though if he’s busy munching on an arm I suppose you could get away like a loopy mermaid. Merman? Can you be a mermaid without a tail as long as you only have three limbs in total? Does it matter which limb you lose?”

“That made my head hurt,” Boy complained as Toby finally trailed off. Whether he meant the rough toweling or the three-limbed-mermaid, didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. 

Jeff dropped the towel over Boy’s head and shoved him away. “Mermaids have fish tails, that’s the fucking point. Someone missing an arm is just someone missing an arm. Now if they were missing a leg.. then we can talk.”

“Meh. I’ll have moved on by then. Think if we glue some googly eyes to Eyeless’ mask he could be a Cyclops?”

“You _just said_ mermaids had to have tails!” Boy sputtered, flinging the towel away. His hoodie had been completely soaked, but the shirt underneath was relatively fine. Boy didn’t want to wander through the castle half naked because had it been mentioned that it was a little cold? So while the shirt was wet, it was still clean, therefore he kept it on. His feet were _freezing_ now because all their shoes had been dumped inside the oven to be dried out. 

Eyeless was going to serve boot leather for dinner if they didn’t keep an eye on the temperature.

“So? A leg can be a tail if you shatter the foot properly.”

“That’s not…” Boy scowled at them both. “And Cyclops only have one eye, not a bunch of them!”

“Oh my god, school’s made him boring,” Toby gasped with a theatrical hand pressed to his chest. “JEFF! Fetch the pickles!”

“...what?”

Removing the hand from his chest, Toby flapped it at the Killer. “Nevermind, I’ll get them. Who wants a sandwich?”

“Yeah, sure. Get the frying pan and we’ll grill them.”

Somewhere between getting the frying pan down and Toby finding the pickle jar, the idea for grilled sandwiches turned into grilled.. pickles? Grilled pickles. Surely Jeff meant _fry_ the pickles if they needed a frying pan, but.. was that honestly any better?

Boy had concerns. 

Serious concerns.

Actually, he was sort of horrified by the idea and he’d seen some weird food at Hogwarts. 

“We need flour. And eggs. Get the eggs Jeh-fuh-fuh!” Toby warbled as he finally got the pickle jar open by whacking the container against the edge of the counter. Sure the lid popped off, but so did big chunks of glass. Toby solved that by dumping the whole lot into a bowl and picking out the pickles with his fingers into a second bowl. 

Jeff eyed the begoggled teen for a moment, but fetched the egg cartoon from the fridge without bothering to comment. It was Toby. And Jeff was tired. 

“Wan’ me to crack them?” Boy offered. His arms and shoulders were black and blue, obviously Jeff was having sensory issues and they didn’t need eggshells in the batter. Or wait, maybe they did. Then he wouldn’t have to eat fried pickles. Damn, too late to take it back.

Flexing his fingers a few times, Jeff shook his head. “Nah, I got this.”

Without even looking up from his pickles, not only washing them to get rid of any bits of glass but also slicing them into thin rounds and wasn’t _that_ terrifying, Toby slid a bowl down the counter. Then ruined his one moment of grace by lunging for the bowl to take it back. “Not that one! It’s glass!” 

A few plastic bowls later and a sardonic smile from Jeff, everything was settled. And Toby had to re-wash the pickles because he’d dropped them in the sink on top of the glass he’d just rinsed off.

The term ‘controlled chaos’ fit the occasion. Boy sat back to watch them work around each other, chin propped on his hands. It was a mess, pickle juice and egg everywhere, batter dripping all over the stove as the pickle slices actually made it into the pan. Toby was all arms and elbows and Jeff kept grabbing things too hard.. but they made it work. Somehow. The pickles were only set on fire once.

Eyeless was going to have kittens when he discovered the kitchen coated in flour.

Starving, Boy went ahead and made himself a perfectly nice, perfectly normal cheese and meat sandwich while the other two bickered over what counted as golden brown and what counted as burnt. Toby kept eating the sizzling slices right out of the pan and scorching his fingers, until Jeff finally stabbed him in the hand with a fork to make him stop. 

Retreating to safer distance, Toby leaned over Boy’s shoulder and took a chomp out of his sandwich. 

“HEY! Get your own fucking sandwich!”

“Why?”

“Because this is mine!”

“....why?” Toby grinned, eyes crinkling over his face mask that he’d pulled on soon as it was dry.

This would only lead to madness. Instead of trying to reply, Boy brought his sandwich in close to his chest and took another big bite while glaring at Toby. Who just laughed at and ruffled Boy’s hair. “Ooo food time!” Not the sandwich, that was yesterday’s news, no now he had a plate of fried pickles and a half a bottle of mustard as Jeff squeezed it out into a bowl. They probably should have been trying to make dinner for the whole household at this point of the day, but for now it was just the three of them.

Even Toby seemed to be finally winding down as he stuffed himself on the completely unnecessary fried pickles, not only dipped in mustard but also ranch dressing. Boy was probably just a little biased ever since that year he’d gotten a really bad sunburn and Eyeless had plunked him into a tub of vinegar water, but pickles were fucking gross. 

...heh, Jeff was nibbling off the breading and leaving the pickle slices themselves on the plate. Head propped up on one hand, the Killer looked half asleep. Boy was pretty sure they were all going to sleep well tonight. Or in Toby’s case, half the night. And, Boy realized suddenly, this was probably the best moment he was going to get to ask a few questions.

“Hey Jeff?”

“Mm?”

“Can we talk?” As Jeff shrugged a shoulder at him, Boy clarified with " _really_ talk?"


	20. Daddy Issues

When Jeff wasn’t acting like an octopus having a seizure, Boy was perfectly happy to sit with him. That it also made it a lot easier to have a conversation on more serious things was a bonus. Boy never knew what to do with his hands or where to look when he had to sit for a face-to-face discussion, it was just awkward and weird.

Leaned back against Jeff’s chest, the two of them were doodling on a blank page from a sketchbook. For all of Jeff’s muttering that any scrap of paper could be used, any broken pencil, he did enjoy using quality paper and thick, dark charcoals. In direct contrast, Boy preferred the thin and delicate lines of ink, dipping and swooping around the course smudges. No quill, just a lovely fountain pen someone had brought home while Boy had been away.

Thus, with hands occupied and eyes averted, they could talk freely.

“I just don’t see why we have to make one up. Why can’t we use the truth?”

“ ‘cause when you’re dealing with a bunch of bored fuckers on the internet, they’ll pick apart everything just to be assholes. Like, why the hell would I pick up a random toddler and bring him home?”

“But wasn’t it because I magicked you?” 

Boy had very vague, shaky memories of that time. Mostly he just remembered the blood. The smell, the color, the slightly sticky feeling of it on his hands.. 

“Yeah, but then we’d have to admit there’s a whole ‘nother sideverse out there where wizards play with wands and cast spells. Masky thinks if we tried to bring that out we’d have the magical police on our ass. Their whole thing about not letting the normal people know, if that makes any fucking sense.”

Because Toby could rarely settle down for a serious conversation, because Jeff had a hard time himself keeping back the snarky comments when other people were nearby, because Eyeless had gotten pissed off at the state of the kitchen, and especially because Boy was exhausted… Jeff and Boy had compromised and camped out in Boy’s tower for their talk. 

It was a little cramped, but that just made it easier to keep warm. Especially with Mimi in her refurbished aquarium stuffed full of charcoal briquettes and incense cones. Voldie had complained that the room smelled like that of a whore house, but since he had his new and much larger tank in the game room… who cared what Voldie thought? Certainly smelled better than the must and mold Boy had come home to. Stupid leaky roof..

“Then.. why can’t I still be your brother? Wouldn’t that be easiest? I know Masky said it didn’t work but.. I mean.. some things just need time don’t they?”

Jeff pressed his cheek against the side of Boy’s head. He was holding a stick of charcoal very delicately with the tips of his fingers in order not to crush it. Making dinner had helped, all those fragile eggshells forcing him to remember how to hold things gently if he didn’t want to be covered in bits of eggs all night. His white-as-chalk skin always was more numb in winter.

“We tossed you out there with only a vague idea and people picked up on that. They don’t want to know of a hidden, unknown third Woods brother. It doesn’t make sense to them because it’s been too long and it’s just not interesting enough. And unless you want to be fucking twelve for the rest of your life, we need to move on and try something else because if we don’t, they will, and the last thing you want right now is for someone else to decide what you can and can’t do.”

“But.. a cult? A _snake_ cult?”

“Look, you want to keep being able to talk to snakes? Then we need a reason for it. Want to keep your voodoo? Have to have a reason for it. Normal kids, no matter if the Slender Man likes you, don’t just get magic powers out of nowhere. So count your fucking blessings that the first plan failed, because then you’d not be able to do any of that shit.”

Boy stopped. He’d been idly adding little eyes inside Jeff’s jagged shapes, and little forked tongues and fangs, but this was more important. “No one told me that!”

Jeff shrugged, jostling Boy a bit. “Yell at Masky, he’s supposed to have explained to you.”

“You.. you…!” 

Jeff brought an arm up across Boy’s chest, hand cupping the opposite shoulder. Under the threat of being choked back into submission should he continue, Boy hastily aborted his tantrum because that was a fight he’d never win.

“You guys are jerks.”

“Hey, don’t blame us for not paying attention. You want something to happen the way you want it to happen? Fucking do it yourself. Thought I jammed that into your head years ago..”

Boy grumbled to himself. Nothing he could do about it now, that event had come and gone and hadn’t changed diddly. Like Jeff said, time to move on and figure out a better option.

“So… a snake cult. In England?”

“You’d be surprised what these uptight bastards get up to when they think no one is looking. They devour every culture in their path until it’s been annihilated and then they feast on the carcass. Just look at how they used mummies. And hoarded porn.”

Boy laughed. 

Yeah, a snake cult wouldn’t be too bad. 

Voldie would appreciate it too.

Eventually.

Maybe.

_‘Like hell am I going along with this preposterous idea!’_ The pale cobra hissed the next day, head swaying back and forth as he glared at Boy with his beady red eyes.

Boy just rolled his own, arms folded over the kitchen table, on top of which Voldie was curled up, between the bowls of ingredients. “Come on, pampered and adored? Treated as a God? What the hell is wrong with all that?”

_‘I am a Wizard! The greatest Wizard alive! I am not some piddling false-god of muggles!’_

“Well you’re not exactly a wizard OR a godling right now,” Boy snarked. “You’re just a mangy old snake getting in the way of dinner. You’re lucky we’ve not decided to eat you.”

Voldie hisssssssed and Boy just waited him out. Technically Voldie shouldn’t be on the table at all, what with all the food around. If Boy didn’t get him moved before Eyeless got back from the basement, there’d be hell to pay. 

No pets on the tables! Voldie was lucky he was even allowed anywhere near the kitchen, the Kelpie had been banned for life ever since it had raided the fridge.. 

_‘And just what do I get out of this nonsense?’_

“You’ll be my.. companion I guess. Maybe even come with me when I do a job for Slender. Plus, since you’ll be the reason I have powers, you might get some yourself if Slender allows it.”

Voldie’s tongue flicked out into the air. His hood was still extended, but it lost some of the aggravated rigidity it’d held before. ‘ _Tell me more.’_

“Sure sure.. but can we do it without getting lynched by Eyeless? I swear, the game room is just as warm. Why the fuck are you in here anyways?”

_‘. . .mind your own business and let us depart.’_

Rude fucker wasn’t he… Boy sighed but let Voldie slither up and over his shoulders to carry him out. Just in time too, Eyeless was coming up the stairs and Boy beat a hasty retreat before he could get roped into disinfecting the kitchen table again. Boy didn’t mind helping prepare or helping cook, but he did mind the smell of bleach getting stuck in his nose.

Mimi was only about twelve inches long, a massive difference from Voldie’s lanky twelve feet. Though for as large as he was, draped over Boy’s shoulders and head held proudly, he didn’t actually weigh that much. Maybe thirteen, fourteen pounds? Boy would have expected a lot more, but then if Voldie had weighed a ton there’d be no way in hell Toby would have carted him around all summer.

They passed a grumbling Masky in the hall, canvas shopping bag in hand and soaked to the skin. 

“Where did you go?”

“We were out of onions, and god forbid we not have onions for dinner,” Masky growled at him. Boy quickly moved to the side and out of the way, letting the Proxy continue stomping towards the kitchen. 

“...Eyeless has him whipped.”

_‘You do not mess with your House Witch, unless you want your house burned to the ground with you inside,’_ Voldie advised. 

“...Eyeless and Masky aren’t married.”

_‘Does not matter. Eyeless Jack runs the household and all those who reside in it. You do not upset the House Witch.’_

There was a note of resignation in that last bit... Boy just knew there was a story behind it. What sort of House Witch had the Great and Terrible Voldemort crossed paths with to make him sound so tired? Boy guessed even Dark Lords could learn manners.

The Game Room, as was proper in Boy’s opinion, was full of people. 

“Whatcha up to Shorty?”

Boy shrugged a shoulder, both in response to Hoody’s question and to irritate the snake. “Daddy wants to know more about the cult stuff.”

Hoody, comfortably relaxed sitting on the floor with his back against the couch, coughed. In the midst of taking a drink from a canned soda, this had interesting consequences. The soda shot out of his nose with the force of a fire hydrant and left Hoody gagging and covered in pepsi.

“Ex _cuse_ me?” in a tone that had Boy blinking. 

“Voldie… wants to know more about the cult?” Boy trailed off uncertainty, because he hadn’t thought the cult would be a secret from the old man. Not when he would be used as the base of the story.

In his chair over by the window, Liu’s shoulders were shaking as he brought his book up to cover his face. As Boy continued to look around the room, BEN was absorbed in his game and not paying attention, while Toby was looking as if he had a dozen things to say but couldn’t figure out which one to say first. The expressions running over his face was both hilarious and concerning.

Voldie hissed his usual demand for Boy to never use that word ever again, nipping at his ear.

“Christ that stung..” Hoody coughed a few more times, eventually reduced to blowing his nose on his sleeve to clear out the rest of the soda. “Voldie. Right. Yeah I guess he should know a little more. Carry on my wayward son.” He turned and socked Toby in the knee as the teen raised his hand in the air with “can I-”

“NO.” Hoody’s command was firm and final. “Not on your life.”

“...you’re all so fucking weird, you know that?” Boy sighed, because this always turned out to be the main obstacle in his life, his brothers being weird. Grabbing Voldie’s tail to make sure he didn’t sit on it, Boy dropped to the floor next to Hoody.

“Says the Cult-baby,” Hoody said as he pulled his sweatshirt off. Covered in soda (and snot) it was just too gross to keep on. He balled it up and shoved it under the couch. “What’s the deal bouncy boy, V not want to bite you?”

“We hadn’t gotten that far. I think he wants to know more about the power deal, but- ”

Voldie’s head popped up over Boy’s, red eyes alight with the kind of manic glee they typically only saw on Toby. _‘I’ll do it.’_

“Hey! You don’t even know what the whole plan is, and you’re going to agree just like that?” 

_‘Child, I have wanted to bite you since the first day I woke to this accursed form. I can only pray my venom will make it as painful as possible.’_

“Rude ass bastard…” Boy grumbled. Catching Hoody’s impatient hand gesture, he explained. “Voldie will go with the cult idea if he gets to bite me and if it’ll hurt. All of you are jerks and I hate you.”

“Aww.. you love us,” Hoody put an arm around Boy’s shoulders, at the same time shoving Voldie away. The irritated (when was he NOT irritated?) Cobra climbed up onto the couch and coiled himself into a loose ball between Toby’s place and where BEN would have been sitting if he’d been sitting on the couch and not above it.

Boy tried to elbow Hoody in the side, “do not! I fucking hate all of you! So much hatred! Let go!”

The mistake had been letting Hoody get a good grip around his neck, trapping him in a headlock and allowing Hoody to rub his knuckles into Boy’s head. “Say it! Surrender to the dark side and confess your undying affection!”

“Never!” 

All was fair in love of war, so Boy felt no regrets in setting Hoody’s tshirt on fire. Only a little bit, burns fucking hurt more than a stabbing, but it was enough for Boy to wiggle free. He clawed his way over the couch to safety and scurried over to Liu’s reading spot. “Where’s-”

“Do you _actually_ want to know?” Liu interrupted. The hint of a smirk made Boy pause and after some consideration… he changed his mind. He stifled the urge to climb into the chair, he wasn’t exactly five years old anymore, he wouldn’t fit. Instead he perched on the arm, making Liu shift a bit to the side.

The Proxy was flipping through the Monster Book of Monsters, watching idly as the inky creatures inside moving across the pages until he moved on. The pages rattled every so often with a soft growl and Boy slowly realized the book was snoring. “What did you do to it?”

“Fed it a pamphlet on the dangers of smoking weed.”

“...wow.” 

“I have a book on the history of the brewery waiting for when it wakes up.”

Why were all his brothers so _weird_?


	21. Harried

Sooo… A cult.

Boy found himself returning to the topic again and again.

A runaway Cult-kid who’d murdered most of the flock on the orders of their supposed God. Voldie, the same supposed Avatar of that God, was highly interested in the idea that he might get some sort of power or magic from the tale. If Slender allowed it of course. If he could bind a wandering spirit into a physical animal form, there was nothing to stop him from leaving Voldie as helpless as ever.

Voldie didn’t care for that line of thinking- he wanted _thumbs_ again and much as Boy tried to tell him that there was nothing in the story about Voldie getting a human form, the snake was being stubbornly hopeful.

Boy had an idea that the Kelpie was the real reason Voldie wanted power, any sort of power. Everytime the two met on the property they ended up having a hilariously intense staredown because as much as Voldie hated the Fae, Kel hated Voldie just as much. The only reason Voldie hadn’t been eaten yet was because Slender had forbidden it.. and Kel had listened.

Boy had heard that while he’d been away at school there’d been an _incident_. No one knew what Slender had done, but the Kelpie was suddenly a much more polite house guest. ...even if he did still try to raid the fridge far too often, to the ire of Eyeless.

This was getting Boy off track. 

There was nothing wrong with a cult, cults could be a lot of fun. Not that much difference between a cult with demons and wizards with magic. Right? Right. Like using the same recipe but different ingredients. Sorta. 

Why then was Boy still worried? Hoody thought it was a hilarious idea, BEN was keeping Boy updated with the sheer randomness of the forum conversations and new demonic-Elsa memes. ‘cause somehow that was related. Jeff didn’t care what Boy decided to do as long as it meant he stayed close to home, so no story about running off to the tropics to sunbathe or whatever it was snakes did when they got cold. 

It was all so complicated. And messy. How much _would_ this change Boy? Harley. Harry. And that reminded Boy of _another_ decision he had to make. Quickly. Masky had brought up the idea about a permanent shift to ‘Harley’ altogether, not using it only in public or on the random document. After all, he was no longer just a boy hanging around, learning how to fight and kill. He was a teenager now heading towards Proxy-hood and he should have a real name. 

Then _that_ discussion of course brought them back to the problem about Boy’s height. Again. Actually, it was a welcome reprieve, giving Boy a break from the jumbled thoughts tossing and turning in his brain.

“He should be shooting up like a weed,” Eyeless muttered. He added a new line on the doorway above Boy’s head and not very far from the last one. “You all need to stop thinking of him as the baby before his maturing process grinds to a halt completely.”

Jeff scowled in their direction, fingers roaming restlessly over the scar on his cheek. “Don’t fucking start that again.”

“Then knock it off.”

“You two bicker like an old married couple!” Boy complained. “What if I’m just short?” He slid down the wall to pull his boots back on, tucking the extra length of the laces inside the boot cuff. Not as shiny as they had been at school.. but he could still tap his nails against the hard leather for a pleasing clack.

“I want a divorce.”

Jeff tried to slap the back of Eyeless’ head but the masked boy dodged easily. “Fucking comedian aren’t you.. Brat get your coat.”

“I’m wearing it…?” voice lilting on the last word to make it a question. 

“Get a _real_ fucking coat. We’re going outside.”

“Aww… do I have- going. Going!” Boy scampered off, wondering if he should grab a hat this time, before someone suggested it and he’d have to ignore them. He had a parka now, though he’d had to change the stupidly cheerful shade of blue immediately. And if he was grabbing a hat might as well grab some gloves.

The snow crunched loudly under their boots as they walked through the backyard. The bonfire still needed wood, something that hadn’t happened between the Kelpie wanting to play and the New Year’s planning and... wow. It was gorgeous outside.The ice hanging from the branches in spiky spears, the layer of smooth, glittering, pristine, tempting snow..

Jeff started it! Sort of. Alright, so Boy had thrown the first volley.. 

Boy was surprised to find out that without other distractions, he was not doing too badly in their snowball fight either. Jeff didn’t seem to be holding back, but without having to dodge hooves or the sheer randomness that was Toby, Boy thought they might even be evenly matched..?

Must be because of all the play fights at school… yeah that was it. 

Of course, Boy paid for his moment of inattention, getting tackled to the ground. Rolling around in the snow, he not only lost the war but his hat and now his ears were full of snow. 

“That’s cold!” as Boy tried to dig the bits of ice out of his right ear. All he did was melt it which was better than ice but now his ear was all clogged up.

“I’m _so_ fucking sorry, it must have been someone _else_ who set Hoody on fucking fire the other day,” Jeff snarked. “I guess you’ll just fucking freeze to death.”

“Set _you_ on fire,” Boy mumbled. It took him a moment to realize what he’d said. “I mean.. I wouldn’t..” 

Jeff rolled his eyes and tripped Boy back into the slushy mud they’d created during the wrestling match. “Come on, let’s find a tree branch or something. Pretty sure we’ve cleared this damn forest but tell that to the bossy bitch inside..” Jeff tucked his hands into his pockets and wandered off. 

Boy decided he didn’t want to feel bad about the hasty remark, not when he had to brush more mud off his face. Grabbing his hat, soggy and mangled as it was, he tried to clean it with the gentlest touch of magic he could think of. Only to watch as the knitted yarn swiftly unraveled. To be fair, it was a very _clean_ ball of yarn.

Resigned to having frozen ears, Boy trotted off after Jeff. 

They did manage to find several good sized branches for the bonfire, old ones that weren’t able to hold up under the weight of ice and snow and snapped right off their tree. They’d also found a tree that had plain fallen over, but neither Boy nor Jeff had thought to bring an axe. Jeff’s kitchen knife certainly wasn’t going to get the job done, and Boy’s new pocket knife was even smaller.

“Eh, we’ll send Toby later. Let him pretend he’s in the Shining.”

“Pretend?”

Boy knew with enough kindling and lighter fluid, even the most water-logged of wood would burn eventually so he wasn’t too concerned as they dragged the branches back to the main part of the backyard. They passed the coop, the last of Masky’s hens were clucking inside their tiny fenced-in portion, scratching at the ground for bugs. Boy was amused to see the iron nails strung up on bits of yarn and cord and wire, surrounding the coop and mini-yard within a protective circle.

Boy could give a fair guess on what Masky was protecting them from. Stupid horse..

The bonfire was about half wood, a good portion of it a lot drier than their chosen branches, with the other half being mostly cloth. All the stuff too blood-stained to make serviceable cleaning rags, or some weird sort of texture like someone’s brief foray into knitting. Very brief. They couldn’t have been that good anyways when Boy’s hat had barely lasted a day! Let’s see… There was the occasional bone, though those would have to be re-collected later to be smashed to smithereens or burned again until it crumbled. A couple books with the pages falling out..

The usual.

“I’ve got a couple of sketchbooks to add later,” Boy remembered. “But it’s mostly just school stuff.”

He was NOT looking forward to getting up tomorrow before the crack of dawn, in order to be in London on time. Stupid train. Why couldn’t they magic it to move faster so it didn’t take all damn day? Then they could have a later starting time and sleep in a little.. stupid. So very fucking stupid.

“For the best, you never know what you might have been doodling without thinking about it,” Jeff pointed out. He reached over to ruffle Boy’s hair. There was a vaguely disgruntled look that flashed over his face when he didn’t have to reach all that far. Boy was catching up, no matter what Eyeless said about him being too small. “Get out of my fucking hair brat, go bother someone else for a while.”

Boy made a face as bits of mud flaked off his hair. He pushed Jeff’s hand away, “no thanks to you I need another shower. And it’s going to be freezing. And then it’ll be forever till I’m warm again and I’ll catch a cold, and _then_ -”

“Go complain to someone who cares.”

Boy flipped him off with both hands. At least Mimi loved him, the little Fire Snake was more than happy to accompany him to the shower and hang out on his towel to keep it warm. Afterwards he listened to her cheerful squeaks about her adventures in the castle; chasing mice into the walls, teasing spiders by setting their cobwebs on fire, laughing at the ancient one when he fell off a branch…

‘ _Wait, what_?’

‘ _Ancient fell off his branch when the noisy box turned on_!’ the young snake crowed.

Poor Voldie, he’d gone from being the Nightmare of the Wizarding World, to becoming an old and fat snake that even the babies laughed at. 

Boy scritched Mimi under the chin before letting her wrap around his neck, tiny head happily settled at the base of his throat. ‘ _Just let me know if he starts bullying you. Just ‘cause he’s ancient doesn’t mean he can be mean to you_.’

‘ _The ancient doesn’t talk to me anymore since I set his branch on fire_.’

Boy burst out laughing. That was the real reason Voldie had fallen off his branch, wasn’t it? The T.V. had scared Mimi and she had startled Voldie in turn by blasting a fireball at him. Clever little girl, he was so proud!

Mimi was still preening when Boy took down all his clothes to the basement. He couldn’t leave them to rot in the tower, he’d have nothing to wear when school let out but his wizarding robes. Can you imagine the teasing he’d get from his brothers? Boy could. It wouldn’t have been pretty. 

Eyeless was in the basement too, finishing up on the cleanup from New Years. This entailed of two very large tubs, one filled to the brim with water and bleach, the other of blackish dye. “You’re in luck, the washing machine is cleared for use. Don’t add too much soap this time.” Eyeless paused a moment, “use the _right_ soap this time.”

“That wasn’t me, that was Toby!”

Oh, but the mountain of bubbles had been AMAZING. A trifle terrifying when walking into the room, but after that it had been so much fun! Worth every second that Boy and Toby had spent on scrubbing the floor clean.

“Ahuh. Anything else you need bleached?”

“No, just the stuff you already got. Will it be dry in time for the train tomorrow?”

Eyeless turned to look at the full tub. “....no. Good thing you had two coats, now isn’t it?”

“Meh. I liked THAT one.”

Eyeless chuckled and poked at the water, shifting the clothes around to get them evenly soaked. First the bleaching then the dying to cover up any lingering blood stains.. it was a process. Boy hopped up to sit on the washing machine, idly kicking his feet against the front. It wasn’t exactly quiet with the generator in the next room, but it wasn’t that noisy either so for now, he was content to watch Eyeless fuss over the clothes, taking the occasional item out to hang on a line with a small heater nearby. Couldn’t hang the clothes outside, they’d turn into icicle-clothes and shatter. 

“Something you want to talk about?” 

“Ummm…” Boy ran through a couple options. Dinner? Nah, they’d be roasting something over the bonfire. Who was taking him to the train in the morning? Masky had pretty much taken that over. The cult? Boy was sick of discussing the cult. He needed something not connected at all.. Like...

“Umm… What’s Laughing Jack been doing? I’ve barely seen him at all the last two weeks. It’s like he’s avoiding me or something.”

“Oh. That.”

Boy blinked. He hadn’t expected it to be confirmed, not really. He thought Eyeless would laugh it off and say Laff was busy with something for Slender, or that Boy hadn’t been in the right places at the right times. “He IS avoiding me? Why? What did I do?” That kind of hurt. Boy was sure he hadn’t done anything lately.. though no one ever let him forget about the time he’d tried to mail Laff to Krampus.

“Ehhh… he’s having an issue of...let’s say ‘cultural differences’.”

Boy squinted a bit. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“He’s an immortal, possessed puppet that likes dominate dark haired psychopaths. ”

Boy blinked a few times, staring at Eyeless in. He ran the sentence through his mind again to make sure he’d caught the point. Puppet? Of course. Psychopaths? That would be Jeff, obviously. “...I don’t get it. What’s that have to do with me?”

“Everything, hence his avoidance. You’re not a child anymore.”

Boy blinked. And blinked again. “But-”

Oh.

_Oh._

So uhh… Laughing Jack had a type. Good to know. Having no idea what the hell he was supposed to say to that, Boy was suddenly grateful to be going back to school in the morning. Liu had been one thing, Boy absolutely did not want to play with his more clown-like Brother, not like that anyways.

“Uhmm… what do I…”

“Don’t worry about it too much. Things will be straightened out by the time you’re back for summer.”

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> I'm sure you're all ready to get back to Hogwarts, lol. I've been neglecting my comments, very sorry about that! I'll catch up soon!


	22. Popping Bubbles

Harry was blowing bubbles. He had a little bottle of soapy chemicals and a little plastic wand, and was just.. blowing bubbles out the window and into the station over the arriving students heads. 

“They don’t change colors?”

“Nope.”

“They don’t multiply?”

“Nope.”

“...what do they do then?”

“Nothing. They’re just bubbles.”

Wizarding kids were so spoiled. Harry grinned as Hannah continued to look perplexed over the idea of bubbles that did nothing. “Wanna try?”

She took the tiny plastic wand and dipped it into the bottle. Her first try just blew the liquid everywhere, Harry turning his head to the side to keep it from getting in his eyes. It took her another two attempts before she got a little stream of bubbles. Perfectly innocent, iridescent, absolutely useless bubbles.

“How odd!”

Yeah, spoiled. 

Harry took back his toy and with a very slow, long breath he blew the biggest bubble the wand would allow. It drifted around the compartment for a moment… and then popped on the doorway. “It’s only for a couple seconds, but that just makes it even more fun. Bubbles that last forever? Now that’s pointless.”

Catching the look on Hannah’s face, Harry sighed. “Nevermind. Cute earrings.”

Hannah perked right up, flipping blonde braids over her shoulders to show off the sparkling studs. “They’re from my Grandmother! She says every young witch should have a pair of diamonds! My mother wanted to give me pearls, but Grandma wouldn’t have it and gave me her first diamonds from when she’d been a girl.”

“Do they do anything?”

“Of course,” Hannah told him smugly. “But I’m not going to tell you. It’s a _girl_ thing and you wouldn’t understand.”

Harry wrinkled his nose at her, taking a wild guess that it had something to do with her period. The earrings prob’ly prevented cramps or bloating or something. A boy going through puberty was hilarious, a girl was just gross. “Ew.”

“Must be something in the air. Because my grandfather also gave me an old family heirloom this year,” Ernie butted in. Both Hannah and Harry looked up in surprise because they hadn’t even noticed the door open.

Oops. Harry scratched at an ear, wondering if he was going deaf.

“Oh? What did he give you?”

Ernie settled his trunk into the over-head rack and smoothed his hair back into place before holding up his wrists.

“Cufflinks.” His non-school robe was, like Hannah’s, a much finer material and cut. The cufflinks sparkled, the diamonds set in gold. “I don’t know what Hannah’s does, but these are supposed to protect against mind-altering potions. When my Grandfather was young there was always a worry about the family heir getting trapped into a marriage by an inappropriate witch or wizard, so protections were commonplace.”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess love potions would kind of throw a kink into the family planning,” Harry mused. 

“That, and any children produced while using love potions turn out badly. It wasn’t only protection of the family money, but also the bloodline itself!” Hannah added in cheerfully. 

“Alright,I can see Hannah being allowed to wear her earrings in class, but those monsters?” Pointing at Ernie’s cufflinks, “are our robes even capable of holding cufflinks?”

“Well… no… But no one is allowed to get engaged while in school anyways. Even If you believe in all that nonsense, you’d only want to wear them while away from Hogwarts like the holidays. Just in case.”

“Wear what?” Susan now making her appearance, Roger right behind her. Justin came along mere seconds later.

Hannah was more than willing to show off her sparklies to the new arrivals. “Usually my family waits till a girl turns fifteen, but Grandmother thinks I’m more mature for my age.”

“Or in need of protection sooner,” Susan replied dryly. 

Hannah stuck her tongue out at her. “It’s a _general_ protection charm, not just for handsy little boys. My parents wrote to Dumbledore you know, and his response was very lackluster. He wouldn’t even agree to a proper meeting to discuss Professor Lupin! After his second letter Mother had to take to her bed for _three whole days_ she’d worried herself so sick.” Hannah frowned in recollection. “..Christmas had never been so peaceful.”

Harry grinned, blowing some bubbles into Hannah’s face and making her flinch. “So it’s NOT just a girl’s thing? Such a liar.”

Hannah tilted her head back to look down her nose at him, “it works against nasty little creatures of _all_ types, so be nice to me or you’ll get hexed!” Disregarding the whole anti-magic thing. Honestly, it was an act of Merlin that she was able to get the nailpolish to work. Then again… just like his hair, nails weren’t alive were they?

Harry’s retort was interrupted by a flash of light in his eyes. He turned his attention back to Susan who was holding up a dainty gold locket in the sunlight where it gleamed. It might have been lacking in diamonds but did have pictures of her long-dead parents inside as she soon revealed. “From Auntie of course, and it has a tracking charm attached to it.”

Roger rubbed at his chin. “I’m starting to feel left out.. All my parents gave me was a tab at Honeydukes. They didn’t seem so worried about the rumor, because no one would allow someone as dangerous as a werewolf to teach. The very idea to them is too preposterous.”

Perhaps the Puffs could be mature young adults most of the time, but they were still children. All concerns about Lupin were swiftly tabled after Roger’s announcement. A tab at Honeydukes? With a _very_ reasonable limit? The lucky jerk!

“Roger is in charge of all our candy supplies,” Hannah giggled.

“What was your favorite present Harry? Now that you’ve scared everyone off from giving you anything…” 

Harry grinned. He’d told Blaise at the beginning of December that any Slytherin that tried to give him a gift would be put on his permanent shit list. And the gift would either be sold immediately, or destroyed. Cut down on a lot of the nonsense he’d had to deal with last year. Almost all of it even. 

However! “Got a new knife,” pulling it out of his boot to proudly display it. The handle was a solid black, but the blade (once it was unfolded) was dark red with a wickedly sharp edge. “Isn’t it cool?”

Well, that or the blood-pops someone had snuck into his school bag. Boy had discovered them a few days after getting home, and he couldn’t even be mad about it. But the knife was shinier and the blood-pops already eaten so.. 

Luna was next to show up, the tiny blonde hesitating at the doorway. “Might I bring a friend?” 

“Since when-” 

“Of COURSE you can bring a friend! Come in, find a seat. We’re just waiting on Neville, I do hope he won’t be late again, but there should be room enough.”

Harry rubbed his arm, eyeing Susan from the corner of his eyes. Alright, so it wouldn’t have been nice to ask when Luna had finally found a friend of her own, but still. Ow. He’d almost dropped his bubbles. Which he then blew into Susan’s face, making her squawk in surprise as the bubbles popped on her nose.

His Hufflepuffs were so easy to entertain by the simplest of things. Camera Kid, being a Muggleborn too, seemed to share Harry’s amusement and took advantage of Harry currently unable to throttle him by snapping their picture with his massive camera. He got a very good shot of Harry giving him the finger. 

The tiny Gryffindor then spent most of the time either trying to hide behind Luna, or staring starry-eyed at Hannah. 

Neville slunk in just before the train whistle, sporting one of the most spectacular black eyes Harry had ever seen. And he’d seen quite a few of them. “Nice. Who’d you get in a fight with?”

Neville grunted at him, shoving Trevor’s traveling cage onto Harry’s lap. There was some awkward shifting around as trunks were loaded into the racks with minimal stepping on toes, seats were swapped for the most efficient use of space. Somehow this put Colin right next to Hannah and he couldn’t have looked more delighted. And vaguely terrified. 

Meanwhile, Neville slapped Harry’s hand away from his face, “stop that!”

“I’m just looking!”

“Are you four? Look with your _eyes_ , not with your _hands_!”

“What if I was blind?”

Neville shot him a dirty look. A very crooked one because one eye was swollen half-shut with the surrounding skin a purplish-blue-black. “It’s a bruise, you’ve seen plenty of them. Touch me again and I’ll hex.. your coat.”

Harry drew back a little, eyeing Neville speculatively. Neville wasn’t just mad, he was _mad_ mad. 

“I can try a healing spell,” Susan offered. She was sitting on the other side of Neville, but on the wrong side. She kept leaning forward to get a better look at his face. “I can’t believe your grandmother let you leave the house looking like that!”

She flinched back into the cushions when Neville barked at her “My grandmother let it happen and I don’t care who sees it! The whole lot of them can just.. just..”

“Fuck off?” Harry offered. He reached up to touch Neville’s cheek again, fingers touching the edges of the darkly colored bruise. There was a deep scratch down the center, under Neville’s eye. Like the person who’d hit him had been wearing a ring. Harry knew a good backhand when he saw one, and- he yelped when Neville turned his head and snapped his teeth at him, catching Harry’s fingertips.

Harry decided to behave, pouting as he put his hands safely out of reach. Not his chin though, he leaned that on Neville’s shoulder as the Gryffindor grumbled. Neville threw a glare at Colin when the boy made a move as if to take a picture.

It seemed safe to assume that Neville didn’t want to talk about his eye. 

“Did you get anything good for Christmas?” Hannah asked tentatively. She ignored Roger’s muttered ‘Yule’ with charm and grace like the lady she was.

Neville shrugged, tilting his head to rest it on Harry’s. “I’m getting dueling lessons from my Uncle Algie in the summer. _That’s_ gunna be fun,” ending with a mutter.

Susan grabbed the change of topic with both hands and ran with it. “I bet my Auntie Amelia would have some great tips for that! I wonder if she’d let me invite you all over during the summer and show us some stuff. Oh that would be so much fun! AND you’re parents couldn’t say it would be too dangerous, she’s the Head Auror!”

“The last time you volunteered your Aunt, it didn’t exactly fall through,” Ernie pointed out.

Susan looked down her nose at him. “That was different. Sirius Black can’t escape from Azkaban every summer, now can he?”

“No, but…”

Underneath the following chatter, Harry was thinking. He’d never liked Neville’s extended family, nothing he’d ever heard about them had been endearing at all. Without affection or encouragement to back it up, a beating wasn’t a punishment- It was bullying. Neville’s family were hurting him just as they always had, even if lately it was a little less deadly. No more dropping him out of windows or off piers but no less damaging.

Neville _needed_ someone to watch his back. 

But how was Harry to do it if he didn’t even know where they were? He couldn’t exactly ask his brothers to help him hunt them down.. or Slender. Slender was busy with his Slender-things and wouldn’t appreciate Boy butting into his dealings with the Wizards.

No, Harry needed a Wizard. And there was one person who was always offering his help if Harry needed it. Yes, he should have a chat with Blaise later. Blaise would know how to find the Longbottoms, surely.

Satisfied with an almost-answer, Harry settled more solidly into Neville’s side and listened to his friends chatter.

Other than that, and Colin getting a crash course in the art of losing all his money, the train ride was uneventful. Harry was a little quieter than usual and Luna kept giving him odd little glances, but otherwise a fairly typical train ride. Snacks, cards, reading.. nothing noteworthy. Even Mimi napped in her teapot for most of the trip.

The real excitement came later. In the Great Hall to be exact, as students trooped inside for the Welcome-back feast. It was there that Draco, in front of the entire student body and teachers, marched up to Harry to get right up in his face. After making sure he had Harry’s, and everyone else's attention, the Slytherin asked-

“Do you truly wish to spend a day with me in Hogsmeade?”

Harry frowned at him, because that wasn’t the question he’d wanted. “What does that have to do with anything?” Dammit, why couldn’t the blonde just follow a goddamn order for once?

“Do you wish to spend a day with me in Hogsmeade?” Draco persisted. He shot a look at Neville when the Gryffindor made a small sound. 

“Not really. You’d be a fucking nuisance.”

Draco nodded sharply at Harry’s reply. With the tiniest little smirk at the corners of his mouth, “then we’re in agreement. I will ask someone else to Hogsmeade. Goodbye.” Spinning sharply on his heel, Draco held his head up proudly all the way to the Slytherin table. 

Neville could tell the exact moment when Harry realized that he’d just declined Draco’s offer of a date, asked in such a way that Harry’s tendency for brutal honesty bit him solidly in the ass. Jaw slowly dropping, Harry stared after the retreating Snake. Neville choked back another laugh.

“That.. that was…” Harry sputtered. 

Neville shook his head and patted Harry on the shoulder. “That was your own fault. See you tomorrow, Harry.” This had been just the thing to help brace him for the other Gryffindors, and he abandoned Harry with a grin. 

Looking from Neville back to Draco, and finding Draco still smirking at him, Harry slapped his right hand into his left elbow and brought his left fist up sharply in a time honored gesture. 

“ _MR. POTTER_!” The Old Bat screeched from the teacher’s table.

Oh yeah… the teachers were here. Oops. Harry considered his options.. and trotted off to join his Puffs. He didn’t hear anyone demanding his presence so if he got out of sight maybe she’d forget him. 

“Can’t you stay out of trouble for one night?” Ernie complained. “And what was that with Draco? I thought you were begging him to ask you out when we left Hogwarts?”

“I wasn’t begging, I was demanding. There’s a difference!”

“And so you demanded he ask you… in order to say no?”

Harry glared. “I’ll get him for this. That was...” he struggled to find the right word for how he felt. 

“Very Slytherin?” Hannah tried to help. She beamed at Harry’s cranky face. “He asked if you wanted to spend the day with him, with the assumptions of it being a date. He honored his obligations without having to actually follow through! If you think about it, it was brilliant!”

“Whose side are you on?” Harry’s glare melted into a familiar sulk. He tugged on the ends of his pony tail and slouched down low on the bench. “I need to go check on Cujo before lights out. Damn dog better not be dead.”

“Hagrid takes very good care of all the animals,” Hannah soothed. “He wouldn’t let a poor defenceless puppy starve or freeze to death. And if he had, you’d know by now because he’d be crying all over you.”

“...point.” Next to a stressed-looking Lupin, Hagrid up at the teacher’s table looked too happy to have a dead dog on his conscience. Harry could relax. “Still gunna go check on him. He better be happy to see me.”


	23. Advantagees

In the understanding that an unsupervised Harry was worse than a Harry left to his own devices, Sprout and Flitwick had fought hard to get him into the much-discussed Art Club. Every month was a new topic to introduce the students to a ‘way of expressing themselves’, and he’d already missed out on the first few months because for _some_ reason a couple of the other teachers thought this was a reward for bad behavior.. 

Tch. 

That said, Harry thought the least he could do was make the attempt to catch up on his essays. It wasn’t that he couldn’t find the information or write it down, Harry just had a hard time seeing the point of it all. All homework was good for was vomiting up what the teachers had told them in class to make sure the students remembered it, right? He was doing them a favor by not making them read yet another description of a potion ingredient or wand movement. All they had to do was ask and he’d tell them straight off! 

People got stupid as they got old. One thing to look forward to as a forever-teenager.

However... there was one little thing Roger wanted to know.

“Can we discuss the Nundo in the room for a moment, and talk about why Harry is allowed to do whatever he wants?”

“Not whatever I want,” Harry objected. “There’s a million things around here that’s off limits and you know it.”

Roger side-eyed him. “Ahuh…”

“I think it’s because what the teachers are willing to do as a punishment, and what Harry would consider a punishment, are wildly different,” Susan put forth her opinion. “He doesn’t care about his grades and most of the time doesn’t care about the detentions. We _might_ be able to leverage our sadness of not having a chance for the House Cup against him, but I doubt even that would work for long.”

Harry looked up to find the Puffs staring at him. He shrugged a shoulder. “ ‘m sorry?”

“And if you have a student that isn’t fazed by detentions or points, what can a teacher do? If you think about it, they’re almost helpless. They _depend_ on the students wanting to follow the rules.”

“Still, most kids would be expelled by now,” Roger persisted. “Especially with how Harry mouths off to teachers to their face. Though.. only McGonagall and Lupin recently. Well.. and Snape, but you like Snape, Merlin help us.”

“He’s crazy but he’s _Harry Potter_ ,” Susan said with a shake of her head. “The teachers, and Ministry, would want Harry where they can see him and he’s not done anything bad enough to be thrown into Azkaban for.”

“ _Yet_.” 

Roger and Ernie exchanged a glance and grinned at each other, having said it at the exact same time. Neither of them really meant it of course, Harry was rough but not evil.

Harry stuck his tongue out at them. Mimi, once more at his neck, poked her head out and mimicked him. Then again, she was a snake and that’s what snakes did... but the timing was hilarious and set the Puff’s giggling. 

Harry laid his head down on the table and sighed, making his parchment lift up and try to fly away. He slapped his hand down on the half-hearted paragraph and tried to think of a way to reword a single sentence that didn’t sound like the exact same sentence anyways. 

...heh. Harry had an idea. It’d bend Snape’s nose out of shape but it should be interesting. 

“I’m gunna draw it.”

“Draw what?”

“The different uses of moonstone. I’m gunna draw it instead of writing it out. I learned a charm in the Club to make sketches move, so I can say it’s homework too. It’ll be efficient!”

“...well, he can’t exactly give you another detention for it…” Hannah laughed. She tapped her papers into a tidy stack. “Well I’m done! That’s Charms, History, and Muggle Studies! Just in time too! Ready Ernie?”

“Yeah.. just a second…” Ernie finished his final sentence with a flourish, and capped his ink. “Can you guys take my bag back to the commons when you leave? It’ll be easier than taking it to Choir Club.”

“Yeah, we got it,” Justin even set the bag down by his feet with his own, to make sure he didn’t forget. Hannah passed hers off to Susan gratefully, and the pair left the Library. Justin watched Harry scribble across his parchment for a moment…

“...pretty sure moonstones don’t actually influence the moon Harry.”

“Can’t be perfect, now can it? I have to give him something to mark against or he’ll get sad and depressed. A depressed Potions Master is one who poisons his entire class because what’s the point to life anymore if he can’t lord his knowledge over them?”

Justin squinted at Harry for a moment, before deciding it wasn’t worth the argument. Not when Harry was flashing a toothy smile at him. That smile never meant anything good and Justin had his Transfiguration homework to finish.

Harry managed to make his sketches fill up an entire three feet of parchment, which was going above and beyond the call for twelve inches. And the teachers said Harry never applied himself! HAH!

Fuck. He still had more homework.

Harry covered his head with his arms and whined into the tabletop. Was the Art Club really worth it? _Really_? Sure, he now knew the charm to make doodles move, though it seemed to be exactly like creating a computer animation. Harry had to draw the base figure, then draw out what he wanted it to do, and the smoothness of the motion came from how many steps he was willing to sketch out.. Then the charm smooshed all the sketches together into one animated drawing.

He’d been told that in February they’d be introduced to the basics of water colors. And then in March it’d be pottery…

Someone started poking at his head while Harry tried to convince himself that the Club was worth the homework. All the homework. So much homework. Runes and properties of stone and drying times of plants..

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Harry lifted a hand off his head and swatted at them. He hadn’t heard any of the chairs scrape against the floor, so it wasn’t any of his Puffs. No cologne, so it wasn’t Blaise. Or any of the Snakes, they were far too polite to go tapping on someone’s head. Though in Flint’s case, he’d have pulled the chair out from under Harry and dumped him on the floor. Harry adored Flint, even if the Snake did play his own version of politics and Harry didn’t care about shows of favoritism vs neglect..

Neville continued to drum his fingers against Harry’s scalp. Since Harry had been so kind as to move his arm and give Neville the room to do so, Neville should take the opportunity. He waited as the tension slowly drained out of Harry’s shoulders and no longer looked like he was trying to meld through the table. Distractions always worked- Harry had the brain of a mayfly sometimes.

“You’re supposed to be in detention!” Harry shifted his other arm under his chin so he could glare up at Neville. 

“McGonagall got called to the tower to deal with the Weaselys, so it’s been postponed. Hermione’s cat presumably ate Ron’s pet rat, so he’s in hysterics and she’s in the Hospital Wing.”

“Familiars don’t eat other familiars!” Susan objected. “Or else everyone’s pet would have been eaten ages ago! How dare he.. he.. what did he do to her?”

“Uhh… well whatever happened to the rat, Hermione slapped Ron for screaming at her so he hexed her with boils. Then the Twins got into it trying to calm him down and they got hexed too. It’s.. a bit of a mess really.”

“Poor Ron. He’s an ass, but no one deserves to lose their pet so soon after.. the other stuff.”

The ‘other stuff’ being Ginny Weasley’s death of course, and having their name dragged through the mud for being the ones responsible for the Basilisk attacks. Somehow. The Boggart incident at the beginning of the year likely hadn’t helped. 

Neville took the chair Hannah had vacated and sat down next to Harry. He could tell Hannah had been sitting there, because the hair on that side of Harry’s head had been neatly frenchbraided into a shoulder-length pigtail, complete with a pink ribbon. The other side of his head was all loose curls though, and it created a very interesting look. 

“Nice ribbon.”

“Fuck off.”

With Neville there to poke fun everytime Harry started to get twitchy, literally poking in some cases, the time passed without any major meltdowns AND homework was completed! Susan even had a few extra moments to braid the rest of Harry’s hair, though she didn’t have a ribbon to make it fancy. She’d tried to transfigure a broken quill but it had gone oddly. _Technically_ it was a sort of fabric…?

Packing up their books and un-broken quills, the Hufflepuffs got ready to go back to their commons. Everyone but Harry, because- “we’re supposed to take a nap for our Astronomy class in a couple hours, but I slept through History so..” he shrugged. “Wanna play cards in our hallway?” 

“Sure. I don’t want to go back to the Tower till I have to, maybe everyone will have calmed down by then.”

By ‘our’ hallway, Harry had meant the hallway outside the girl’s bathroom. The one that had been blocked up by the Aurors after last years debacle. Between that and the bad feelings about Ginny’s demise, no one but Harry ever went there to hang out. 

It was kind of cool to have a hallway all to himself, no one to get in his way as he threw a little rubber ball off the stone walls while he waited on the millions of things that needed to be waited on. Like Neville stuck in a class when Harry had a free block. It was those times that Neville usually found Harry wondering what would happen if he took a serving platter and used it to slide down the moving stairs in the Great Hall.. Making Neville swiftly use whatever was at hand to make him forget that idea because _no_. Besides-

“You’d get stuck in the fake step and flipped off the platter to break your neck on the landing.”

“Spoilsport.”

But for now, it was late and dark and quiet and Harry was intently focused on building a tower out of their playing cards. Poker was no fun with only two people, and Harry really needed to invite Draco to their next poker game and shit, Harry still hadn’t remembered to corner Blaise to ask him about locating the Longbottom Manor, or-

“You okay? You’re acting super-scattered even for you.” Sitting on the opposite side of the card-tower, Neville was trying to add little sticking charms to the cards without Harry catching on. 

Harry flapped a hand at him, sleeve catching on the construction and sending the whole heap across the floor, even with the charms. “Fuck. No, I’m fine. I’m...” Itchy. His shoulders itched, his knees itched, he was constantly flexing his hands because they itched.. It was like a thousand tiny gremlins were camping out in his blood and dancing the night away to drive him mad.

“Wanna go see Cujo? Or…go to the pitch? Bet I could get my broom out of the shed pretty easily, it’s not a very hard lock.” Harry threw the cards he’d been picking up into the air. “Can we go do _some_ thing? _Any_ thing?”

Too much sitting still and behaving and he had even more sitting and behaving to look forward to though he did like looking at the stars and tracking comets and sometimes there were bats flying around the tower and-

Harry whined, hands coming up to run fingers through his hair. Or tried to run, fingernails snagging on the ribbon and getting snared in the looped hair. “Goddammit. Nev!” 

“It’s two hours before curfew, and two more hours till your Astronomy class,” Neville considered, mind racing. What could they do this late at night that wouldn’t get them killed? Eyes cast around the hallway.. “..I bet that’s more than enough time to break into the bathroom and go look around the Chamber of Secrets.”

Neville knew he’d hit the mark when Harry’s eyes lit up, the Hufflepuff scrambling to his feet almost before Neville finished his sentence. Just in case there were any stray bits of stone during the event, Neville stayed where he was. He had a perfectly good view of the bathroom door and it’s seal, no need to move closer and end up with a face of shrapnel. 

Watching Harry pace in front of the door, running his hands over the stone as if looking for the edges of the seal.. Neville had to wonder what people would say if they knew at least half of Harry’s crazy ideas were Neville’s idea in the first place.

Not that Harry didn’t have crazy ideas of his own.. like going around the seal. The barrier encompassed the door and the frame holding the door, but didn’t extend to the wall or floor. Harry, after much trial and error and attempting to not make it look like someone had been trying to get inside, pulled the frame and door out of the wall. He did it at an angle though, as if the whole thing was another sort of door and only enough so that he could slide inside.

Neville checked the time.

“Harry, it’s almost curfew!”

Harry popped his head out of the bathroom. “But I just got it open!”

“We can come back tomorrow now that you know how to get in,” which Neville thought was reasonable. Sure Harry had two more hours till class, but Neville had to go and deal with Sir Cadogan. Better dig out his list and get ready for a debate..

Harry sighed. “Fiiiine.. But we’re coming back! I want to see the Chamber. Think there’ll be more snakes? Maybe I should leave Mimi in the dorm tomorrow..”

Harry was certainly feeling much better as he chattered all the way to the Gryffindor Tower. Neville only half paid attention as he dug through his school bag. “Dammit.. I kept it in the front pocket for a reason…”

“Whatcha lose?”

“My list. That stupid knight keeps changing the password and no one ever wants to tell me what it is, so I made him give me a whole list of the ones he planned to use this week. And now I can’t find it! And knowing the bastards inside, they’ll just leave me to sit outside all night,” resentment coating the words thickly. Neville scowled as said Portrait came within his sight. 

“Come sleep in Hufflepuff then. No one will care.”

Harry liked this idea. He liked this idea a lot. How hard could it be to sneak Neville into the commons this late at night? Everyone would be going to bed, or in the case of his yearmates, getting up for Astronomy. Why would any of them care?

 

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .
> 
>  
> 
> Almost thought I was gunna miss this weeks chapter, California is doing this weird rolling blackout thing and cutting power.


	24. Uncontrolled

Neville had gotten suspended for two weeks.

Not because he’d broken curfew and spent the night outside of his house. Not because he’d broken curfew and spent the night in a _different_ house, in another student’s bed no less. No, not even because his list of passwords had miraculously vanished from his school bag and into the hands of a known psychotic murderer who’d used said list to get into Gryffindor tower to attack the sleeping students in their beds. 

Though the last one had spawned several conspiracy theories, not even _that_ was the real reason for Neville being dragged home by his Grandmother.

Neville had been suspended for two weeks because _he’d written the passwords down._

That was it. That was the official reason. Not even Sir Cadogan was in trouble over letting a known mass-murderer into the Tower, because the man had had the right password and that’s all the Knight had to guard against. It was only by _sheer chance_ that the Fat Lady’s portrait was ready to be hung over the entrance the next day, and the Knight got the boot back to his lonely hallway.

Ron Weasley, already a nervous wreck over his pet rat being torn to pieces by another familiar, was escorted to St. Mungos for some rest and time with a mind healer. Waking up to find Sirius Black standing over him with a knife had not done the Gryffindor any good.

Harry was…

Well…

Harry could have been a trifle more understanding, but Hannah supposed it could be worse. Getting dragged out of bed in the middle of the night after a late class, scolded by the teachers, then Neville’s Gran showing up at breakfast calling him a disgrace on the Family name and that his parents would have been ashamed of him...

She suspected that was the main part of why Harry was truly infuriated- Neville’s public humiliation. Neville getting dragged out of school right afterwards was just the icing on Harry’s tantrum.

And what a tantrum it was turning out to be.

“I never noticed how nice the acoustics were in our bathroom,” Ernie murmured as the last howl faded off. At least the swearing had died down. Hannah’s fault- she’d rapped her knuckles on the door and told him to swear like a respectible wizard when he’d first started screaming about how this was all _fucking bullshit_.

The dissatisfactory Parseltongue had then led to giving up on words all together for one long scream of rage that bounced around the tiled room in surprisingly nice echoes.

“Perhaps we should start practicing our chorus lines in there when he’s finished?” twirling a ribbon around her fingers. 

“Mmm… I don’t think I want to know what the other students would say if I started locking myself in the bathroom with a girl.”

“The door wouldn’t be _locked_ …” Hannah giggled. 

The rest of the Hufflepuffs weren’t nearly so entertained by Harry’s tantrum. Only reason Ernie was by the door himself was because Hannah had dragged him over to make him listen to the echoes. As for the others, they were on the far side of the room, outside of it actually, playing cards as they waited for either the start of class or Harry to come out. 

Sprout checked up on them every once in a while, with a few sympathetic clucks of her tongue. 

Hannah considered the bathroom door. She couldn’t hear anything, no yelling or throwing things or a faint muttering of curses. She tapped lightly on the door again, “Harry? It’s almost time for class.”

She was not prepared for the door to be yanked open, to have Harry with one hand braced on the doorframe and leaning towards her to growl “I will burn this _fucking school_ to the ground before I go to another transfiguration class!”

The door was slammed shut and Hannah was left to blink a few times, wondering if that had happened or if she’d imagined it. Finally, she announced to the room at large, “...he can be _such_ a drama-witch. Worse than my mother.” 

And she knocked on the door some more.

“Hannah, perhaps we should just leave him be..?”

“Nonsense. This is exactly what McGonagall wants, isn’t it? Harry to prove he’s a terrible person and a menace. Harry! I know you can hear me! Why on earth would you want to prove her right? I know Neville is going to be gone for a little while but if you do this now, it’ll get a lot worse!”

This time when the door opened and before Harry could snap at her, Hannah pointed a nicely polished finger at him. “What happens if Neville comes back and you’ve been suspended yourself? Then you’ll have to wait even longer and it’ll be your fault!”

Harry ducked his head down to glare up at her through his thoroughly rumpled hair.

“They could put Neville under house arrest when he comes back. You know McGonagall would do it if she thought you’d gone completely off your rocker. She can’t touch you, mostly, but she can punish Neville.”

Hannah realized her mistake when Harry’s eyes flared. And not in the metaphorical sense, his red eye literally flared to an even bright color and it lit up the rest of his face with the glow.

“..umm.. Well.. no more than she has already? Neither of you’ve paid much attention to that before now so that’ll just be.. a minor detail. Hardly noticeable.”

Oh Merlin, she’d forgotten how scary Harry could look when he was upset. Not screaming upset, or starting a brawl with the Gryffindors upset, _upset_. 

Voice only slightly strained, Ernie gently bumped her out of the way to cautiously ask Harry- “do you need a hug?”

Hannah side-eyed him because what an odd question to ask in the middle of.. whatever this was. It was all she could do to not take a step back and Ernie wanted to give him a hug? Harry’s was also a bit thrown by the randomness. His knuckles went white where he was gripping the door and doorframe, looking from Hannah to Ernie. “You don’t want me near you!” Harry finally bit out accusingly. 

“I said I didn’t want you sleeping in my bed, not that I didn’t want you near me,” Ernie reproached. “Come on, Harry. It’s just a hug. Where’s the harm?”

When Harry glared at him without accepting _or_ rejecting the offer, Ernie eased himself closer to put his arms around Harry’s shoulder in a very careful hug. He had enough time to wonder if he’d overstepped before Harry let go of the door and buried his face into Ernie’s neck, arms going around the other boy’s waist. Ernie exhaled in a wheeze under the tightness of the hold, but he patted Harry on the back. “See? Not a big deal.”

Harry growled something into Ernie’s neck and for a brief moment he was pretty sure Harry was going to bite him. Ernie let out a relieved breath when Harry pulled away. The red-glow had dimmed drastically so it hadn’t been the stupidest idea he’d ever had.

“Ok fine, you got your hug. We’re going to be fucking late to class now and I am _not_ taking the blame this time.”

Dimmed yes, but not gone. The fiery glint in Harry’s eyes left Ernie filled with dread. Dread that Hannah shared as the pair looked at each other behind Harry’s back as he stalked towards the door.

Ernie mentally crossed his fingers that the old hag wouldn’t try to antagonize Harry. She’d gotten her way and Neville was out of Harry’s reach, surely she’d be content now.

 

\---

 

It wasn’t usual for Professor Sprout to take her tea in Flitwick’s office, but this was a special occasion. It had been a very long, nerve wracking week, and she fully deserved the liberal amounts of whiskey Flitwick added to her cup. When it became more whiskey than tea, Sprout motioned for him to stop pouring. One very healthy gulp later, “ahh… thank you Filius.”

“You’re very welcome. I believe we all deserve an extra pick-me-up today,” as he fixed his own cup now. Without the tea altogether. “Severus?”

“I shall pass.”

The three corner-stones of Harry’s support system weren’t just enjoying a treat away from the gossiping tongues of their colleagues, they were also there to discuss Harry himself (away from the gossiping tongues of their colleagues). 

“How is Mr. Potter doing?”

“He is doing well, according to Pomfrey. Since her usual potions don’t seem to work on Harry, she’s been collecting an assortment of Muggle remedies that she swears they use on children of all ages. He’s currently sleeping off the worst of the pain.”

“Muggle remedies? From this decade I hope.” Snape commented dryly. The way he was eyeing Flitwick’s flask, the man might have started to regret turning down the offer.

“Oh.. I don’t know. Is that important?”

“At one point the Muggles were dosing their children with enough narcotics to kill them off by the dozens. Opium, Heroin.. nothing you’d want anywhere near your students.”

Sprout paused as one of those words sounded awfully familiar. “She called them soothing syrups I believe.. Severus, would you mind..?”

The Potion Master sighed heavily, casting his eyes up to the ceiling. “Yes, I’ll go check on the little twit.”

“Be kind, he’s having a difficult week.”

“He’s being an absolute nuisance. We should all be thankful he only _cracked_ his thick skull trying to ride the Thestrals of all things. The beasts pull carriages, they aren’t intended or inclined to carry riders.” Snape had about had it up to here with the boy. If Potter could survive the long months of summer break without Longbottom, then surely two weeks was nothing to be bothered about.

“His level of determination is almost inspiring,” Flitwick mused. “I wonder how he even got onto the Thestral’s’ back with that broken arm.”

Snape muttered something under his breath that both the other teachers ignored. 

“We won’t have to worry about him pulling any more dangerous stunts on his broom, it flew right into the Whomping Willow after he fell off and it’s been completely demolished. I can’t say I feel very bad about it either. Cedric, the good boy, made a comment about giving Harry his broom, since he’d gotten it from Harry last year, but I put a stop to that right away.”

“You should never have allowed him to have such an idiotic thing in the first place,” Snape snapped. “He manages to get himself into enough trouble _without_ doing it a hundred feet in the air!”

“And just how would I have managed that? There aren’t any rules about modifying your personal broom, and after McGonnagal’s fit there was no way I could even attempt to make him see things our way. If she’d only kept her temper..”

Flitwick reached over the table to pat her on the hand. And refill her teacup, because Sprout wasn’t finished.

“I thought we were really getting somewhere with him! He was getting to all his classes on time, he was making an effort with his homework.. he’d even stopped heckling the Gryffindors this year, have you noticed? And now it’s all gone to waste because Minerva _again_ couldn’t keep her temper and threw him out of class! Do you know how hard my children worked on calming him down to even attend? He was in hysterics all morning! Goodness knows how I’ll get him to go back now.. You know how Harry is! He’d rather fail a class completely than deal with something he considers worthless. And then there’s Remus...!”

She pressed her lips together firmly before she could say something she’d regret later. Maybe much later, but regret nonetheless. 

Flitwick and Snape waited to see if she was truly finished with her rant.. before the Charms teacher waved a hand at a nearby plate of thick, delicious smelling brownies and changed the subject. “I see you’ve had time to bake us a treat, how lovely!”

“I wouldn’t eat them,” Sprout corrected wearily. “I took those off some of my seventh years planning a visit to the Infirmary. The dears meant well, but I had to gently remind them of the rules regarding age and consent and sent them to the library to write me a paper on ethics. 

Flitwick frowned… then raised his eyebrows up almost to his hairline. “Good grief. Not _those_ brownies?”

“I almost pretended to not notice,” Sprout confessed. “I don’t actually believe it would have harmed him, but I don’t want my Puffs getting in the habit of drugging the younger students.”

The three Professors stared at the seemingly innocent, utterly delicious looking brownies.

“On the other hand...” Snape started slowly “...we are fully mature adults with common sense and wisdom behind our desire to drug a student into not killing himself.”

“Severus!”

“Oh please. If we can freely offer our students Calming Draughts and Pepper-Ups, a minor herb like Cannabis is laughable. If it’ll keep the little menace on the ground and out of the Hospital, where’s the harm, truly?”

Sprout pursed her lips together, while Flitwick looked down into his teacup. 

“Remember when he’d merely skip class because he thought Lockhart was incompetent?” Sprout mourned.

The matter of the brownies set aside for the time being, Snape reluctantly walked down to the infirmary to check on the little brat. Absolute menace, that’s what Harry was. Bound and determined to drive himself to an early grave with those utterly ridiculous stunts.

If Madame Pomfrey’s ‘muggle remedies’ didn’t do it first.

“You call yourself a medi-witch!” He pried Harry’s eye open to look at his pupils. They were so tightly contracted thanks to the dose of opium, the boy looked blind. “You cannot drug a child without knowing the specifics of what you’re drugging him with! Especially when you don’t know how to adjust it according to.. to… age, or size, or... _everything_!” 

This was NOT what Snape had meant with his early comments about drugging the boy!

The Potion Master was absolutely seething. Harry was thirteen, but he was tiny. But then again, he was almost entirely wiry muscle and surprisingly heavy. At times very active, others extremely lazy. There were so many things to take into consideration when using hard core narcotics like these so-called Soothing Syrups chalk full of heroin and cocaine and any number of nasty things.

The medi-witch sputtered. “Excuse you, but these were sent to me by the pediatricians of St. Mungos!” Pomfrey informed him stiffly. “The recommended dose is no more than a tiny vial!”

“You _can’t_ give a child _opium_ no matter how little it is!”

Checking the boy’s thready pulse every few minutes, Snape found himself muttering the steps on how to administer CPR without using magic. Just in case. And when Mr. Potter was feeling better, Snape was going to wring his scrawny neck for making him have to worry so much. He should be storming st. Mungos perhaps, but Harry was closer and easier to throttle.

...and yet, Snape had to admit to a teeny tiny piece of admiration for Harry’s stubborn refusal to bend. It would get him killed one day, undoubtedly, but the boy utterly refused to let society choose his path for him, be it good or bad. Harry didn’t take advantage of the Slytherins trying to buy his favor, he didn’t try to cozy up to those in power. Harry did exactly as Harry wanted and damn those who didn’t like it.

Snape could wish he’d been half so confident as a student over a decade ago.

Snape snorted at his thoughts. If he’d been as damnably pigheaded as Mr. Potter, Snape would have been long dead by now. The ability to bend without breaking was a far better skill than being snapped in half like a brittle twig. Harry would learn that one day. Hopefully.


	25. Chapter 25

To the disappointment of a couple teachers who shall remain nameless, Harry didn’t let a little thing like a drug-overdose, spending two days puking his guts out, or an extremely vicious tongue-lashing from an Eldritch Horror God, slow him down for long. He had things to do! People to torment! Wards to smash! 

The splash of water was _extremely_ satisfying. His robe was soaked, but Harry didn’t mind. He kicked at the water a few more times then abandoned it to find a new one, a deeper one. If water was going to collect itself into shallow pools, it was asking to be jumped into! Harry wasn’t at fault here, it was all the responsibility of the water to not look so enticing!

The Chamber of Secrets was in general sufficiently over-done and grand, with huge stone columns and a giant carved head near the far back. it was cold and dark and full of puddles but no visible water source. Harry paused to look down at the rippling around his boots and contemplated the idea he was stomping around in thousand year old water.

What sort of microbes were swimming around, invisible to the eye? Dinosauric Measles? The Plague? Or would they have all died out and left the water as pure and clean as.. Harry had nothing to compare it to. Maybe if he’d brought a microscope.. Harry whirled around and used his foot to kick up a wave of water.

Draco glared at him, one hand coming up to fastidiously wipe the droplets from his cheek. “When you are done acting like a _child_ , Blaise found a door.”

Depending on how Harry tilted his head, half the room was washed in a warm golden glow while Draco stood out like a spotlight against the dimmer ancient magics. On the other side, the room was dark as a cave and Draco’s pale hair again stood out brightly.

“Jeez, you’d think being in the home of Salazar Slytherin himself, you’d fucking smile a little. Isn’t he like your god or something? Come on Draco, chill out! We’re in the Chamber of Secrets and _no one else knows_.” Harry made a simple up-and-down hop to make more waves. The puddle was sadly depleted of most of its liquid but it still sloshed happily. 

Draco took a step back. “Like I said. When you’re done, we found a door. It’s locked.”

It amused Harry to watch Draco take another step away as Harry jumped forward. Out of the puddle so there wasn’t any splashing, but as Harry continued to advance Draco continued to avoid him. Until Draco realized Harry was playing with him and stood his ground, which brought them nearly nose to chin as Harry got into his personal space.

“Now that we're finally alone, I’ve been meaning to ask you…” Harry reached out to take a hold of Draco’s tie. Thanks to Ernie, Harry knew exactly how to make the knot lay neatly and snugly under Draco’s chin. It had fallen loose from the trip down the slide and the bumpy landing. And the firm grip meant the Slytherin couldn’t wiggle away without choking himself. 

“..did you have any interesting visitors over the summer? Someone tall, pale, and spooky perhaps?”

Harry’s grin dropped away as Draco grabbed his wrist, tight enough Harry could feel the bones creak. Standing so close, Draco had to tilt his head down a bit to coldly stare Harry in the eyes. “I did not come down here to be interrogated _Potter_. I came along to put an end to your constant _harassment_ , don’t expect anything more because I owe you _nothing_.”

Ignoring the painful grip, Harry stared back. He could have licked Draco’s nose but he shouldn’t get too distracted, not now. “Last spring you were a whimpering crybaby that I could slap around. Now all of a sudden you’re a badass? Someone taught you to suck it up and act like a big boy. So unless your Daddy finally-”

Harry found himself cut off when Draco grabbed him by the throat with his other hand and turned to slam Harry up against one of the stone columns. “You’ll leave my father out of this, you filthy Mudblood! You have no right!”

Ok...

So...

Harry was very, very turned on right now. Could you blame him? Draco was a very pretty guy. He was being very forceful and was close enough for Harry to feel the warmth of his breath. After a very slow blink, Harry tested the grip on his throat. He was able to breathe though talking was out. Draco was all but crushing his wrist but.. oh yeah Harry had another hand too.

Draco’s head twisted to the side but Harry got a grip on his tie for the second time and yanked the blonde closer. The kiss was more a clash of teeth but the blood was an absolutely perfect touch. 

Until Draco ruined it all by letting go of Harry and shoving him away. “What the hell Potter? Have you gone _completely_ mental? _What is wrong with you_?” 

“Iunno, could be fun,” as Harry licked the blood off his lips. He’d cut his upper lip on someone’s tooth, and the sting was already fading. He grinned as Draco made a disgusted sound and stomped off. Presumably to wherever he’d left Blaise so Harry trotted after him. 

He had a feeling Draco wasn’t going to give him an answer, but that was an awfully intense reaction to asking if he’d had any guests. It was just a question! With the handful of clues Harry had, he was comfortable with assuming he’d found Slender’s cursed kid. 

Harry just needed proof and for that he needed to get Draco naked. There was bound to be a mark of Slender somewhere on his body, Harry was certain, and all of a sudden that didn’t seem like too bad of a chore. If Draco thought he was annoying before with his demands for a date… hah. Susan was going to go _mental_.

Blaise was poking at a stone door carved with snakes. “What took you so long? You can’t have possibly gotten.. lost…” He looked at Draco furiously scrubbing at his mouth and Harry looking far too pleased with himself while eyeing Draco like he was a fascinating new puzzle.

“I think this may either be Slytherin’s office or his private quarters,” the dark-skinned boy continued cautiously. “I am almost certain it’s locked by Parsel like the entrance was.” His face was full of nothing but pity as he looked to Draco. “Unless you want to try first?”

Harry shrugged a shoulder and before Draco could answer, hissed at the door in a low whisper. 

_‘Open’.’_

It was sometime after midnight, maybe even close to 2am, before the boys gave up for the night. With Draco growing increasingly grumpy as Harry.. err… stalked him through the set of barren rooms they’d found, Blaise was more than ready to go back to the dorms and catch some rest. Except Harry had never claimed to be good at making long term plans and as the three of them stared up at the ceiling where they had first slid down...

“Are you _serious _? You don’t know how we’re going to _get out _?”____

____“Not like I’ve ever been down here before,” Harry hmmmed. “Use that impressive brain of yours and figure it out. You’re at the top of all our classes aren’t you? After Hermione that is.”_ _ _ _

____Blaise pinched the bridge of his nose as Draco glared. The blonde looked thiiiiis close to losing his temper completely. His hair was rumpled, his clothes were filthy, Harry had been.. uhh.. Blaise didn’t know what word to use there, but Harry had been doing it obnoxiously._ _ _ _

____“Show us what you can do, Mr. Malfoy,” Harry grinned. He took a grand step back from the bottom of the slide and gestured for Malfoy to take his place. Receiving a dirty look, Harry just winked at him._ _ _ _

____...Harry graciously decided it served him right to be left behind. Levitation charms might work for Draco and Blaise, but for him it was a no-go. Maybe if he charmed his robe and not himself…? Harry tugged on his ponytail and considered the ceiling where the other two had vanished for the long trip back up the slide. Time to break out one of his baby tricks it seemed._ _ _ _

____Harry thought of the girl’s bathroom and the fancy fountain of a sink. It was hard to describe what it was he did, but he sort of just.. The bathroom was there and Harry wanted to be there so he smashed the mental images of him and the bathroom together until he was. Wheezing and gasping because even though the distance had been minor, it had felt like clawing his way through a pool of jello. A whole lotta work for very little movement under the threat of smothering._ _ _ _

____Harry dropped to the floor once he made it through and laid on the cold tiles while he caught his breath. “Ow…”_ _ _ _

____“ _Did you just Apparate in HOGWARTS _?” Blaise’s voice reached a high pitch that was very unlike the stoic black-mailer-in-training. It was even funnier because he was trying to whisper while he yelled.___ _ _ _

______“Jus’ gotta put a little thought behin’it, that’s all, ” Harry sighed as he continued to lay on the floor and rest while his stomach pondered visiting the toilet stall._ _ _ _ _ _

______While Draco would have left him there on the floor, Blaise (once he finished having heart palpitations over the insinuation that people just needed to try harder) eventually pried Harry up to his feet. They all had to get down to the Dungeons quietly and carefully, it would be best if they did it together._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry didn’t have the energy to keep teasing Draco anymore, so the trip was relatively peaceful. As long as Harry could keep from puking his guts out on Blaise’s fancy shoes, they were good. Been too long since he’d last tried to teleport perhaps. He should prob’ly try to do it more often to keep from getting rusty._ _ _ _ _ _

______He was reminded though, he’d been recently concussed and overdosed on Opium. He should lay low for the next few days. Wait for Neville to come back to school before doing any more adventures._ _ _ _ _ _

______Maybe. Depended on he felt tomorrow. After a nap._ _ _ _ _ _

______Draco didn’t wait for anything so nice as a ‘Goodbye’, taking the first chance he got to ditch Harry as the hallways split. Even if it meant leaving Blaise. So much for your House being your family, eh?_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry stuck his tongue out at the Blonde’s retreating back. He shook off Blaise’ helpful hand and gave him a shark-toothed grin. “Well that was fun. We should do it again sometime. Did it satisfy your requirements?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Blaise nodded slowly. “Even if we didn’t find anything, it was still amazing to see the Chamber of Secrets. I’ll.. do my best to but.. It might take a while. I’ll have to ask my mother for help,” he cautioned. If it even could be done._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry shrugged again. “All I can ask for I guess. I just want to know the general direction if you can’t get the specifics. Point me in the right direction and I’ll do the rest.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“If I may…” Blaise shifted uncomfortably. Once he got an impatient head bob from Harry, “why _Draco_? Why not any of the other Slytherins that would be more than happy to.. help?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Eh, helpful people are no fun to play with. And since Ron’s being boring, I need a new toy. Draco is fascinating and I wanna see if I can make him break down like I used to.” When Blaise looked uncomfortable, Harry leaned in towards him. “I could play with _you_ if you’d prefer…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry laughed to himself as Blaise fled, after giving a polite farewell of course. He knocked on the Hufflepuff barrel and crawled through to the commons. No one around… good. He could go right off to bed._ _ _ _ _ _

______Awww… his Puffs had tried to wait up for him. The three boys were camped out on the floor between Justin and Ernie’s bed, a heap of cards in the middle. The little idiots…Even after he’d warned them he’d be gone most of the night for a date with Draco. And yes, Harry did know he was using the term quite loosely, he just liked watching Susan’s face go red everytime he said it._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry smiled fondly at snoring Puffs, and pulled his robe off over his head as quietly as possible. His boots took the most time, they were too tightly laced to just kick off. Pajamas were a tshirt and light pants. Those and the blanket he pulled off the bed would be plenty of warmth._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry then stole the blanket from Justin’s bed, and Ernie’s, because he was feeling like a kind and gracious soul. He draped the blankets over the sleepers before adding himself to the group, curled up between Ernie and Roger._ _ _ _ _ _

______They’d all be sore and cranky in the morning perhaps, but the bonds of brotherhood insisted he be miserable right alongside them. Alright not THAT miserable. Boy had slept in worse places. Maybe not lately, but he had!_ _ _ _ _ _

______. . just because he couldn’t remember didn’t mean it hadn’t happened!_ _ _ _ _ _

______Having been banned from sleeping cuddled up to Ernie, the jerk, Roger was a good second choice. Harry liked Ernie’s shampoo better, but Roger’s wasn’t terrible as Harry leaned into his back. Justin was muggle enough that Harry didn’t even try to cuddle up to him at night._ _ _ _ _ _

______Neville would be back Sunday night, just in time for dinner. Harry figured he’d made enough of a nuisance of himself to prove the suspension had been a terrible idea. He knew Neville wasn’t going to be a happy camper even if all of Harry’s battle wounds had been healed, but Harry had had a point to prove to the teachers. Aching head and all._ _ _ _ _ _

______Do you know how hard it is to get a tamed Thestral to buck? Harry had been forced to use a good zap to make the peaceful creature react._ _ _ _ _ _

______Madam Pomfrey’s opium syrups had been an entirely unexpected event though. Harry would rather bleed out on the cold stone floor before he ever set another foot inside the Hospital wing again. The drug-induced nightmares had been awful until the cold tendrils of Slender Man drove them away. Always nice to know the Big Boss was still keeping an eye on him, even if severely disappointed._ _ _ _ _ _


	26. MINE

Picking at his plate, Neville wondered if Harry knew he was acting like an excited Krupp puppy. All he needed was a pair of floppy ears and some wagging tails to complete the transformation. Couldn’t say Neville didn’t appreciate the attention though, having _some_ one so obviously thrilled to see him again was a soothing balm to Neville’s ill humor.

The relief on the faces of more than a handful of students had been almost as good. The relief on the faces of a couple _teachers_ had almost made Neville smile. 

Almost. If his jaw hadn’t hurt so much from all the teeth grinding he’d been doing.

He could see Harry wriggling in his seat over at the Hufflepuff table and Neville could only assume Ernie and Roger were keeping him on the bench. Unsurprisingly Neville had a good space around himself as none of the other Gryffindors wanted to sit next to the House Traitor. They had most definitely not looked relieved to see him back. Probably hoped he’d been shunted off to Durmstrang or something. 

Then Colin surprised them all by taking the spot to Neville’s left. The Second Year offered up a timid little smile and- “I’m supposed to help make sure you can get into the Tower, since McGonagall decided.. that… uhh..”

Since she had decided that Neville was not allowed to know the password into the Gryffindor Tower. Because somehow that made sense to the old bitch and Dumbledore after his _grievous mistake_. His Housemates had been forbidden to tell him, and Neville knew they were going to do their best to make sure he got stuck outside the Tower as often and as long as possible. 

Colin was a good kid. Neville hadn’t minded when he and Luna would occasionally join them at Hufflepuff for breakfast. But.. Neville eyed him suspiciously.

“ _Supposed_ to? By who?”

Camera Kid, as Harry still called him, nodded. “Hannah asked me! The Hufflepuffs know Ron and them are kind of mean to you, and were worried about what they’d do with the ban thing going on.”

Ah. Hannah. That made sense. All she had to do was bat those pretty blue eyes and Colin would have promised her the world. That girl was going to be dangerous when she was older. 

Colin craned his head around and partly stood up to see the Hufflepuff table. He sat down with a small thump and fidgeted with his camera. “I’m.. uhh… also supposed to tell you that.. uhh… ‘We did our best, but he’s your problem now’.“

Neville smiled dryly down at his plate. He supposed that was one way to tell him Harry had been acting like a complete ass the last two weeks. Neville could relate to that. His grandmother had stopped speaking to him after…

“...she marched me off to St. Mungos almost first thing. She made me tell my parents the whole story about how I’d nearly killed my classmates with my incompetence.She didn’t like the way I told it though and we had a huge fight. The Mediwitch kicked us out.” Neville could still feel the knot of anger settled deep in his chest. A low simmer by now, but still present.

Harry muttered something from where he was laying across Neville’s legs, as the Gryffindor stretched them out across the floor of ‘their’ hallway, back up against the wall. Harry had kidnapped Neville the moment dinner ended, grabbing his arm and hauling Neville off to a place that wouldn’t put them under the eyes of the whole school. 

“What was the fucking point of that?” Harry complained in a louder tone, “your parents aren’t exactly going to say much.” Nevile’s knees couldn’t have made for the best of pillows under Harry’s cheek, but Harry wasn’t moving. Nope.

Callous as the remark was, Neville didn’t take offense. He’d long ago acknowledged that the pair of.. dolls.. sitting in St Mungos weren’t his parents and never would be. Frank and Alice Longbottom had died over a decade ago and he was tired of trying to prove himself to them. 

Reaching down to play with a random strand of hair laying over Harry’s face, Neville said “She used to do it when I was a kid all the time, when I’d done something she thought especially bad. I’d always cry and feel guilty for weeks. That I had failed people who’d been so _wonderful_..”

Harry snorted and Neville flicked his ear. “YOU don’t like disappointing your brothers either, so just shut your mouth.” He grinned as Harry pouted and turned his face away. “You’ll be happy to know that I didn’t cry this time. My.. those people… they don’t have the mental capacity to know who I am or what I’m telling them. I could have been telling them a bedtime story or their death warrant. It didn’t matter. It’s _never_ mattered.”

Harry hummed. Neville could feel it against his leg and it tickled, making him shift. Eyeing him, Harry looked like he was falling asleep there on the floor. There were dark circles under his eyes like he’d not been sleeping well, which couldn’t be right because Harry slept all the time.

The Puffs hadn’t shown up yet, respectfully giving Harry time to talk to Neville. Or, Neville assumed, grateful for for someone else to now be in charge of Harry. Poor things, if they’d been older Neville was sure they’d be off having a drink or three.

“Hannah said you were a jerk.”

Cracking an eye open to give Neville a ruby-colored squint- “she did not.”

“Not in so many words perhaps..”

Harry opened both eyes to roll them. “I did a few things that got me into a little bit of trouble. No big deal. Took Blaise and Draco to see the Chamber of Secrets. Got drugged into fucking oblivion by Madame de Sade.”

“Who?”

“The nurse. The medi-witch. She drugged me. Snape had an absolutely fit and it was fucking hilarious, if I hadn’t been throwing up all over him I would have laughed. It gave me the most fucked up dreams too, and Snape’s now the guy I’m supposed to go see if I get hurt. I don’t think he trusts Madam Pomfrey anymore since she’s so clueless about non-magic medicine.”

Neville’s lips thinned as he pressed them together briefly. “What else?” Because of course there was more, it had been two weeks after all.

“Mmm.. broke my broom. It flew into the Whomping Willow so I need a new one. Will the shop take a request by mail or do I have to go in personally?”

“You’ll have to write and ask. What else?”

“Things,” Harry said airily. “Nothing important.” He rolled over onto his back, head still firmly planted on Neville’s knee but now Harry could lift his hands up in the air and wiggle his fingers. “See? Nothing broken! I’m not even bruised.” Anymore. Harry tried to smile up at Neville winningly. 

“You _know_ the more you try to be charming, the more I know you did something awful,” Neville informed him bluntly. “What else?”

Harry considered this, running his tongue over his teeth thoughtfully. “Mmm.. I scared Hannah, so she isn’t actually talking to me right now. Burbage is mad ‘cause I skipped her class to see if Hermione had cloned herself. I think I wanna fuck Draco.”

Neville’s head jerked forward. “You’re _not_ fff… you’re not sleeping with Draco.”

“Aww.. but he’s so pretty!” Harry whined. He was grinning though, so Neville wasn’t going to take it too seriously. And yet.. Neville found himself glaring down at the unrepentant Hufflepuff.

“You are _not_ sleeping with Draco. He hates you.”

“Wait, are you saying I can’t because you say I can’t, or that I can’t because Draco wouldn’t allow it?”

“It’s… “ Neville paused. “Does it matter?”

“Mm… a little. If it’d bother you I won’t. If it’s Draco you think would be bothered, eh. It’ll be fun to try. Teasing him is much more fun now that he bites back.”

Neville tilted his head back against the wall and sighed, considering his responses. Whether joking or actually serious, Harry _probably_ wouldn’t act on the impulse if Neville told him not to. Neville usually tried not to limit Harry like that, just point out the potential problems and let Harry decide for himself, but.. Neville was tired, frustrated, and didn’t feel like debating it with Harry. He just wanted to sit and relax for a few more minutes with the one person who insisted he was worth a damn.

“It’d bother me.”

“Okay.”

And that seemed to be that, as Harry closed his eyes and settled back into his not-nap. Neville however, after a moment or two of thinking over the random statement, tugged on Harry’s hair until the brunette looked up. 

“Why do you suddenly want to sleep with Draco?”

“Cause he’s pretty and I’ve heard that hate-sex can be a lot of fun.”

“Harry. That’s not why you sleep with people. That’s not even in the top ten of reasons to sleep with people.”

“Oh? And you know this personally?”

Neville stared at the snickering Badger for a long moment, fighting the urge to smother Harry with his own bookbag. “Don’t try to have hate-sex with Draco frigging Malfoy.”

“Yeah, I _got_ that. You asked why and I told you. Don’t get huffy when you’ve only been back one night. Save it for tomorrow when we go stalk Hermione.”

Hermione? What.. Neville sighed again. And gave Harry’s hair a good yank, smiling a little as the the Hufflepuff yelped in protest. Ignoring the wounded expression, Neville finally shoved Harry off his legs. “It’s almost curfew and it wouldn’t be fair to Colin to make him wait on me too long.”

“Come sleep in Hufflepuff.”

“I don’t need to be sent back home on, as you’ve mentioned, _my first night back_.”

Harry rolled over onto his hands and knees and stared into Neville’s face intently. Close enough Neville could feel Harry’s breath on his cheeks. “They suspended you for the password list, they were excruciatingly clear on that. They weren’t mad about you sleeping in Hufflepuff, just about the fucking _list_. Come sleep in Hufflepuff.”

This close, Neville found himself wondering what Harry would do if Neville kissed him. For all his teasing of poor Roger, and Draco, Harry had never actually tried to do anything. Not with a girl, not even with Ernie, and he’d slept in Ernie’s bed until their ‘date’ and Ernie had thrown him out. If Harry could barely grasp the concept of a date, except as a way to torment people, would Harry understand the meaning behind kissing? Or would it become another tool to act like a jerk about?

Of course, there was also the tiny detail that Harry considered Neville a brother...

Neville felt his lips twist up into a wry little smile. “...later. Promise. Colin promised Hannah to wait for me, so you know he’d sit outside the portrait all night if he had to.”

Harry scowled as he heaved himself up to his feet. “ _Fine_.”

Neville followed suit, brushing off first his robe and then Harry’s. Thankfully, he knew exactly how to deal with a sulky Harry. “I’ll tell you a secret if you promise not to sulk,” he coaxed. 

With a miffed little hmmf, Harry allowed Neville to tidy him up with nothing more than a dark little glare. Or in his special case, a bright little glare. Neville was amused that something so small as a sulk could make the glow come out, the red light surprisingly comforting. Neville ran his fingers through Harry’s hair, half attempting to make the tangles lay flat, and half because.. 

Well.. because he could. Neville tilted forward until he could rest his forehead against Harry’s. He never could put his finger on why, but Harry always seemed to smell like burnt leaves and ink bottles. One made perfect sense, but the other? 

When he was sure he had Harry’s complete and full attention, Neville whispered a short, simple sentence.

Neville treasured the moments when he could leave Harry speechless. It didn’t happen often. He took that feeling and held it close as he followed Colin into the Gryffindor Tower. If there had been one thing he hadn’t missed.. it was the Tower. Maybe if he’d had friends or reasons to spend any time at all inside the red and gold jewel-box monstrocity…? No. After seeing the homey, wood-themed Hufflepuff commons, Gryffindor Tower was eye-wateringly tacky.

Colin didn’t count. He spent a lot of time with Luna, who was her own brand of insanity, and only occasionally crossed paths with Neville. Usually if Hannah was around.

Thanks to Harry’s little games of Hide’n’Seek and Tag, Neville found he could move through the crowd with only a little trouble. The people clumped together to chatter or do homework were distracted enough that he even made it all the way to the Third Year dorm without attracting attention, which was especially nice. 

His bed _looked_ okay.. 

Neville cast a general revealing spell just in case. His trunk, and Trevor’s empty travel cage, were already in place and all Neville had to do was change into his pajamas and get ready for the morning classes. And listen to the Third Year Gryffindors talk to each other outside Neville’s tightly closed curtains.

“Now that HE’S back, I don’t know how I’ll be able to sleep.”

“He should have just stayed in Hufflepuff.”

“As if they would want him either, I bet they threw him out once they realized he was there.”

“I’m surprised his family didn’t just withdraw him from Hogwarts after what he did. They’ll never live down the shame.”

“How did he even get sorted into our House?”

“Not enough brains for the Claws or treachery for the Snakes. Not quite meek enough for the Puffs, process of elimination I guess.”

“Lucky for us, we get the _cast off_.”

Neville could have cast a silencing charm on his curtains, but it always seemed safer to wait until the other boys had fallen asleep first, so he could know where they were. Even if it meant he had to sit and listen to their stupidity.

“Can’t wait for Longbottom to find out his boyfriend has been chasing other boys since the moment he left.”

“Panting over Malfoy like a dog. It’s so gross.”

Neville shook his head. Harry was still pestering Draco for a date then. Or had that been why he’d taken Draco to the Chamber of Secrets? If Draco hadn’t made such a big deal over the silly Hogsmeade trip, Harry would have forgotten all about the nonsense weeks ago. Draco had earned his punishment, so Neville wouldn’t spoil the fun for Harry. Just as long as Draco understood his place in the game.


	27. Bitter Ginger

Now that Neville was back, there were so many things to do that Harry had sidelined. Look up the Bubble-head charm, and practice it. Too cold to do it outside yet, but the time would come and Harry looked forward to dunking Neville in the lake. He really should try to lure Mimi out of the walls, he missed her and her warmth around his neck.. And of course, figure out how Hermione was in every class possible when they ran two or three at a time.

Except catching Hermione in her double-trouble act was so absurdly easy that Harry decided it wasn’t worth their time. Obviously the teachers knew, and if the teachers were going to allow a young girl to drive herself bonkers trying to master every class the school offered… well she could join Ron in his weekly visits to the Hospital psychiatrist. With that out of the way and Neville’s revoked access to Hogsmeade..

“I’m bored.”

“Maybe if you didn’t skip class all the time, you wouldn’t be,” not looking up from his textbook. Neville was following a very complicated chart that would surely start to make sense if he just.. just.. Maybe if he turned the book upside down? Closed one eye?

Nope.

Neville looked up to find Harry staring at him. Again. Arms folded over the tabletop and chin propped on his crossed wrists, the Hufflepuff was watching him with a lot more intensity than homework should have demanded.

“...what?”

“How would you do it?”

It? Oh.. that… The thing he’d told Harry his first night back. Neville dropped his eyes back to his text, idly tapping his quill against his sheet of notes. 

“I’ve not thought about it that hard.”

“Liar.” Harry grabbed for the textbook only to have Neville pull it away at the last second. “It’s a venn diagram, it’s not that hard! Hurry up!”

“Do your own homework! I know you must have heaps!”

Hary considered the bizarre request carefully. “...but then I wouldn’t be able to torment you. You’d be left all alone and lonely and that would be so sad. You should be impressed that I’m neglecting my own future in the wizarding society and won’t be able to get any sort of job, just to make sure you’re happy. Don’t you want to be happy?”

Neville only looked amused by the blabbering. “ _One_ of us is going to need a job or we’ll starve.”

Harry’s eyebrows went up. Before he could find a response he was interrupted by the arrival of Draco Malfoy himself. The blonde looked pissed. “POTTER!”

“Draco! Back from Hogsmeade already?” Or, he was pretty sure Draco had gone down to the village. But then Harry had dragged Neville off to the forest for most of the morning so what did he know.

“You.. you... “ Draco whirled to face Neville instead, the dark haired Gryffindor propping his chin in his hand to watch the drama unfold. “Do something about this, right now! He is ruining _everything_ and you should be ashamed of his actions!”

“Hard to be ashamed when I don’t know what he’s done,” Neville murmured as he eyed Harry for a moment. Something he’d neglected to mention when Neville had interrogated him?

“He’s spreading _rumors_ that we’re _involved_. You, _of all people_ , should be concerned,” Draco snarled, leaning over the table to hiss in Neville’s face. He caught movement beside him but before Draco could look to see what Harry was doing, something cold and sharp touched the side of his neck, making him go still.

“Back. Off.”

The Slytherin eased away from Neville, the light pressure against his neck following him. Harry forced Draco to keep moving until they reached the bookcase. Draco swallowed and could feel the prick of something sharp jab him just a little harder.

The moment was tense and dramatic.. until Harry giggled. 

He could see the exact moment Draco realized he’d been played, face flushing an unpleasant shade of red as Harry waved the quill with it’s metal nib in the blonde’s face. “Aw, come on Draco, you thought I’d actually hurt you? I’m shocked! I thought we were dating!”

A few minutes later, Harry pinched his nose shut, head tilted back as he slouched down in his chair. Neville’s eyes kept flicking up to Harry’s face as he lickd his lips freeof the trailing blood, but all Neville said was-

“Have you thought of investing in a ward for your face? You’re going have a nose like a tomato if people keep punching you.”

“Hmmf. Some friend you are, you let him hit me!” Slightly garbled thanks to his plugged nose, but clear enough.

“Eh, I knew you could handle it. I have Hieroglyphs to sort.”

Harry made a face at the newest reminder of their Ancient Runes homework. The stuff Neville was working on so studiously. As if Harry wasn’t right there and ready to go have another adventure. Or atleast go grab a snack. He was _starving_.

Almost as if reading his mind, Neville muttered “there’s some cookies in the front pocket,” with a vague motion towards his school bag. Harry decided all was forgiven if he was gunna be given cookies. 

“Ron’s still watching us,” dropping crumbs into the bag as he searched through it. Harry knew without a single doubt, Neville had taken his last sketchbook. Harry kinda sorta needed that back. Like, _a lot_. Jeff had warned him about not paying attention and doodling things he shouldn't..

“Mmm…”

“What do you think it looked like to Ron? When I threatened Draco? What are common wizarding compliments for people you like?”

“Tell him his hair is shiny.”

Alright, so Neville was going to be completely useless until he was done figuring out the charts of obsolete symbolic languages and their common ancestry. Harry had two options now, he could bother Neville.. maybe tie his bootlaces together?.. or he could bother Ron lurking in the aisle. The aisle behind the same bookcase Harry had pinned Draco against. With a _feather_. That had been so _funny_.

Poking at Draco was different from poking at Ron, though they both hated him, because Ron was always accusing him of doing things he hadn’t while Draco at least stuck to facts. And Blaise always looked so horrified when Draco brought them up. It was a two-for-one deal!

No sketchbook. Harry huffed and dropped the satchel back to the floor, stuffing the last cookie in his mouth. “Where’sh my fucking book?”

Neville ignored him.

If Harry hadn’t promised to give Neville time to do his homework, in exchange for a few hours in the Forbidden Forest, Harry still might have been tempted to nab the sheaf of papers and run. Oh so tempted. It was right there within reach and Neville was tracing something in the book and not paying attention…

“Did you know Ron thinks he can out-sneak you?” the Gryffindor asked suddenly.

Somewhere in the world was the sound of a spinning record being brought to an abrupt stop.   
Ron Weasley? A better hunter than Harry? “Like fuck he is,” Harry growled. Who the hell did Ron think he was? Two bit hack of a bumbling wannabe.. Harry missed the grin that flashed across Neville’s face as he turned to study the bookcase behind them. 

He noted that none of the bookcases reached the vaulted ceiling. They were pretty tall, tall enough to need ladders to get to the upper shelves, and they were very, very sturdy. With such evenly spaced shelves, this was going to be a million times easier than climbing the walls of the main stairway. 

“I need a book.”

“Mmhm…”

Harry didn’t go straight for Ron, that would have been silly. He aimed for a spot several yards away and ran his fingers over the books as he considered the other tables. Most of the older years were still down in Hogsmeade and wouldn’t be back till dinner, therefore the library was pretty quiet. There were clusters of younger kids in the main part of the library, but on this side.. the other three small tables had been left empty AND they were out of sight of the Book Dragon. 

Should Harry be flattered that both Ron AND Draco had passed on a day at the village, or half of it at least, just to come see him? They were so sweet! And so angry!

All that practice with the picture frames finally paid off, there was a bare inch of space between the book spines and the edges of the shelves but Harry managed it. He very quietly, very carefully, crept up the side of the bookcase using his fingertips and boot tips. He kept his humming of the SpiderMan theme song strictly inside his head.

Things got tricky once he was a few feet off the ground of course, but nothing he couldn’t handle. Neville’s bout of sneezing when one of his feet slipped off the shelf edge helped. It had definitely been on purpose too. Maybe Ron had been trying to peek around the corner again? Harry knew he could count on Nev!

It was surprisingly undusty on top of the bookcase. The Book Dragon must have given the elves very strict instructions in regards to her hoard. It was amazing any books actually left the library at all really, and if there was a list of suspicious characters Hermione _had_ to be at the very top.

The girl must have muscles of iron with how many books she tended to cart around… Though it wasn’t going to do her any good if she kept skipping leg day. Neville at least sparred with Harry and went climbing with him in the forest. A much better and well-rounded series of exercises.

Harry didn’t try to stand, that would have drawn attention. He stayed on his hands and knees and just as slowly, just as carefully, eased forward with minimal scuffing and thumping. And peered over the edge of the bookcase to see what Ron was doing.

Fucking cheater. 

Ron had a map of the school in his hands. No one else got a map! The teachers forced the students to learn by trial and error and detentions where their classes were and which stairways actually went somewhere and which hallways didn’t loop you back to the beginning.

...well shit. Now that Harry was here, he had no idea what to do now. Tackle Ron from above? There was the potential that at this height he could actually kill the kid on accident or they’d get thrown out of the Library. He prob’ly shouldn’t. Hex him? Magic was such a lazy tactic but… Hmm.

Harry squinted down at the red head, bringing his hand up and making a snip-snip motion with his fingers. Unbeknown to Ron, short strands of hair started to cover his shoulders. He had been looking a little scruffy lately, Harry was only being helpful. 

Maybe a mohawk? Boy had seen a guy with his head shaved on one side and the other side grown out longer so that it draped over one eye. Sadly Ron’s current hair wouldn’t have let it droop right. 

Snip snip. Snip Snip. 

Harry paused as Ron absently reached up and scratched his ear, brushing away the bits that had tickled him. The redhead muttered down at his map. 

Ron really should get a wardrobe upgrade to go with his spiffy new haircut, his robe was much too nice for the Punk Rock theme.

Snip snip. Snip snip. Snip… Yeah that should do it. The back of Ron’s robe was barely holding together by a few threads. One wrong move and he’d be mooning the student body and whatever teacher was nearby. 

Harry could have used a cleaning charm for roughly the same look and potential embarrassment, but Flitwick would have known immediately. Harry had used the spell too liberally last year for the teacher to NOT catch on. 

Ron was still missing something.. Harry considered him for a moment. Yes, green hair. The boy needed Slytherin Green hair and he’d be completely perfect. Not that Ron would know this until he finally stopped his babyish stalking.

For fucks sake, how can someone breath _that loudly_ and think he had a hope in not being found out?

Harry watched Ron for a little longer. The boy was frowning down at his map and.. were things on the map _moving_? Wasn’t the point of maps to show- well no this was Hogwarts. If things didn’t move then that would be weird. This probably showed the moving staircases and.. hallways.. and…. ok there were people on the map.

Harry squinted, covering his red-eye with a hand to block out the golden light of magics. His perch on the top of the bookcase was high up, yes. The details of the map were on the small side, yes. But Ron had conjured up a very bright light with his wand and was staring hard at what was very clearly the library and surrounding hallways. Little trails like ants wandered here and there around the library room, and there was the front desk with the Book Dragon, there was Neville’s table..

Ron had a map that showed the library and who was inside it. 

Even Harry. 

_How?_

Uneasy, Harry waited for the Gryffindor to finally slink off towards the front, and exit most likely, before he started to edge his way off the bookcase. After taking a good look around of course, so he didn’t drop onto someone’s head. 

Neville would have warned him but best to keep an eye out himself too.. 

“I didn’t know you could make maps that show where people are,” Harry said once back on the main floor. He didn’t like it. Not one bit. That wasn’t only cheating, it was hard core cheating. It was like.. like.. those people who buy tamed lions to shoot and then take pictures with the corpse while bragging about how brave they were. 

“Huh?”

“Ron has a map that tells him where people are in the library. I can’t see how something that specific is gunna be helpful but if you can make a map for all the places you use a lot..” What was this feeling? Was this anxiety? Worry? Why? It was just _Ron_. With an all-seeing map. That tracked people. All people.

Neville paused mid-word, quill hanging in the air as he puzzled through Harry’s statement. “Maps don’t work like that. Especially in Hogwarts, or else they’d pass one out to every First Year.” Dammit, now he had a giant ink splot in the middle of his homework. 

Harry rolled his shoulders, trying to make the prickling feeling go away before he crowded up against Neville’s left shoulder fretfully. “Well, he does. And I don’t like it. He’s spying on people with a magic map that tells him exactly where people are and _I don’t like it_.”

Ah. That particular tone made Neville cap his ink and set his quill aside. “It’s likely a joke product from his brothers. Some sort of scavenger hunt maybe? I doubt it lists real people, or is in any way accurate,” Neville soothed. “You can’t map Hogwarts ‘cause the entire place is unplottable. Maybe a rough idea of the hallways.. and a schedule on when things tend to change, but that would take an entire book, not a single piece of paper.”

Harry whined. He leaned into Neville’s back now and propped his chin on the Gryffindor’s head. “I know what I saw. You room with him, you’ll be able to find it. Set it on fire or something.”

“Knowing the twins, it’ll probably start spewing smoke or start screaming. But sure, if it’ll make you happy I’ll take a look. Ron leaves his stuff everywhere, it won’t be hard.” Honestly, Harry got upset over the oddest things, but Neville wouldn’t tease. Not until he had proof it was just one of the twin’s silly jokes that is. 

“Come sleep in Hufflepuff.”

Neville sighed.


	28. Puffed

Harry was right. Ron had _something_ that was helping him locate the Hufflepuff with eye-watering precision 

“You need to _stop_! Right now!”

Ron Weasley grinned at him. Nothing near Harry’s shark-toothed smiles but nasty nonetheless and his new extremely short haircut didn’t help. “What’s the matter Longbottom? Your boyfriend not able to handle a little fun? I thought he liked these sort of games!” 

Neville clenched his jaw shut tightly, refusing to give Ron the satisfaction of being hexed and able to cry foul to McGonagall. 

Harry had been remarkably restrained in his choice to turn Ron green and gently shred his robe, but McGonagall was on the warpath and promising dire consequences to the student found responsible.

_Neville_ had been hexed, cursed, jinxed, and charmed inside his House by his Housemates dozens of times and she hadn’t batted an eye. She’d told him to try harder to get along with the other Gryffindors, that the Weasley’s were known for their harmless pranks. 

Pranking _back_ , however, was not only found to be intolerable but worthy of suspension.

Neville had yet to figure out how that worked, but he supposed he could be grateful for the training. He ate nothing that no one else had eaten from, he triple checked his belongings, he’d gotten very good at casting shield charms. Harry’s help in teaching him to spar had won Neville a lot of fights inside the tower, not that Neville would tell him that. Harry was very mercurial about the things that upset him. He’d either be proud of Neville for winning a fight, or furious the Gryffindors started one.

This, however, was a completely different situation and Neville felt helpless to fix it. The knot of anger that had homed itself deep in his chest _throbbed_ with this new frustration.

No matter where Harry went, and in most cases Neville, Ron soon showed up with backup. The astronomy tower, the hallway outside the ‘sealed’ bathroom, the abandoned classroom where they held the Poker Games.. Even the Thestral Pen one day, though thankfully Hagrid had been present and Cujo had not. 

Neville couldn’t imagine what would have happened if Ron had managed to get the dog banished from the school grounds. 

Ron, Dean, Seamus… Harry couldn’t hex them, McGonagall was waiting to pounce if he so much as blew a candle out in their direction. He couldn’t punch Ron because Ron would be able to claim that Harry had attacked him without reason. Unable to retaliate, unable to relax in his favorite places without Ron knowing about them and soon showing up, it was starting to take its toll on Harry.

Neville tried to stop it whenever he noticed Harry scratching at his arms, but he was still covered in long pink welts from wrist to elbow. Hannah mourned over the ragged nails that he’d bitten down to the flesh, and getting him to sit still long enough for Hannah or Susan to fix his hair was starting to get impossible. With hair trailing over his shoulders in long tangles, Harry looked like Bellatrix Lestrange more than ever now, and if he did snap one day and murder Ron Neville wouldn’t blame him.

“Only you would be stupid enough to mock someone you’re so sure is a Dark Lord,” Neville finally bit out, glaring at the Gryffindor.

“So you’re admitting it then?” Ron announced gleefully. 

Neville pressed his lips together tightly. One day Ron would show up all alone and Neville looked forward to seeing what Harry would do to him. If Neville didn’t do it first. Turning his back on the redhead, Neville stalked out of their dorm, and from there out of the Commons.

“It’s almost curfew,” one of the prefects told him snidely.

Neville gave him the finger over his shoulder and slammed the portrait shut. Harry was still pestering him to spend the night in Hufflepuff, and while Neville had been resisting the plea out of fear of what McGonagall would do.. why the hell not? If the Gryffindors wanted him out of the Tower so badly, they would keep the old bitch from finding out. 

The seventh Year Hufflepuff Prefects raised their eyebrows at finding him in the basement, themselves heading out to patrol the hallways for students just like him, but after glancing at each other for a moment they kept their comments to themselves. 

Kenrick held the barrel lid open for him and motioned for Neville to climb inside. “Curfew isn’t for another five minutees, _technically_ you aren’t out of bounds.”

Neville gave him a grateful smile and climbed through the admittedly odd entrance to the Badger Set. The commons was a round, comfortable room with plenty of squashy chairs and couches to lounge in. While there were banners of the traditional yellow and black placed on the walls here and there, the walls were mostly a more natural honey-colored wood with the occasional iron fitting. The many squashy chairs and couches that were perfect for lounging came in all sorts of soothing shades, and Neville found it much more tolerable to the eye than the Gryffindor insistence of ONLY red and gold for EVERYTHING.

Getting one or two startled looks from the lingering Badgers, Neville avoided getting too close and potentially dealing with their questions, and headed straight for the Third Year wing. 

It was entirely unfair. Being underground and able to sprawl out to a certain degree meant each year not only had their own dorm, like the Gryffindors, but each Year had its own study parlor and bathroom. The Gryffindor’s one and all had to share the Commons for everything, and woe betide the person who truly tried to study among the noise. There was also two, _two_ , bathrooms for the whole tower- one for girls and one for boys. They were much, much larger bathrooms to handle the crowds, but still! 

Neville had zero pity for Ernie and Roger when they complained about Harry’s long showers.

And their own room for homework and studying? Neville had seethed with jealousy the first time Harry had hauled him into the Set. Small but with enough desks and chairs for everyone in the year. Bookshelves for their textbooks, cushions for sitting on the floor, potted plants to keep it cheery, House Elves to bring snacks.. Neville was sure he wouldn’t have begged nearly so hard to be sent to Gryffindor if he’d known the truth. 

Hufflepuff had been an _amazing_ witch who’d cared about her students wellbeing.

Nothing but schoolbooks and forgotten parchments in the study room, Neville passed through and knocked on the boys dorm door. He smiled ruefully at Roger’s surprised face when the boy pulled it open.

“Sanctuary?”

“It’s curfew! What in Merlin’s name are you doing here?” Roger stepped back to let Neville inside. The Puff was in his pajamas with a towel draped over his shoulder, clearly getting ready for bed. 

“If I stayed in the Tower any longer, I’d have hexed Ron. Or smothered him in his sleep,” Neville rubbed at the back of his head nervously. “And the prefects let me in. So.. I thought…”

Roger had started to nod the moment Neville brought up Ron’s name. “Yeah, that’d do it. And don’t worry about people pitching a fit, pretty much everyone has decided that you’ve should be moved here anyways, so consider yourself adopted.”

Stretched out on his own bed with a book, Ernie asked curiously- “have you ever thought to ask for a proper re-sorting? He’s in the shower,” nodding his head to the door on the other end of the room, “so you’ve got time to settle in,” he added dryly.

Neville didn’t answer the question until he sat down on the edge of Harry’s bed. “I’ve thought about it.. yeah… but my grandmother.. my whole family… would throw a fit. They’re not happy with me right now as it is, and to be re-sorted on top of that…? I think they’d disown me. Or pull me out of Hogwarts.”

“Quiet adoption it is,” Roger added after a while. He rubbed the towel roughly over his damp hair before neatly depositing it into the hamper to be picked up by the elves. 

That was another thing. The Hufflepuff boys weren’t the neatest of people, as evidenced by Harry’s boots left scattered in the middle of the room and Ernie's cloak carelessly hung from a bedpost, Justin even had a pile of candy wrappers on his bed as he munched his way through his DADA textbook… but no dirty clothes piled on the floor, trunks and wardrobes were closed without their contents scattered across the room.

No badly hidden erotic magazines carelessly tossed under a bed.

“Did you bring pajamas or…?” Ernie asked suddenly. When Neville winced, he’d not even grabbed his satchel on the way out of the Tower, the Badger nodded. “You can borrow some of mine for the night. Maybe we can get the House Elves to sneakily grab your trunk tomorrow?” He aimed the last part at Roger who frowned.

“Why not just do it now?”

“ _Sneakily_. All the Lions will be in the dorm by now. Maybe.”

“Oh.. right. Tomorrow it is.”

“Should I change in the bathroom?” Neville asked as Ernie passed along a sleep shirt and pants. It seemed the polite thing to do, they were much better mannered than the Gryffindors in all ways so Neville wanted to be sure.

Or, he’d thought it a polite question until Roger went beet red and Ernie coughed. “Ahh.. better not. You can change behind the bed curtains if you’d prefer but uhh.. best to let Harry have his shower in peace.”

Neville stared at him blankly before he remembered Harry’s teasing and felt his cheeks go pink. “Right. Of course. I’ll just.. change then.” Hesitating slightly, he waited for Ernie to go back to his book and for Roger to turn his back, before starting to undress. 

By the time Harry left the bathroom, steam billowing out the door as he did, Neville was much more comfortable and even half asleep. Not for long though as the red-eyed Hufflepuff tackled him right off the bed. 

Neville could hear the other boys snicker as he flailed and wriggled but Harry was having none of it. “You’re here! You asshole, why didn’t you say? I wouldn’t have taken so long! Did Ron do something? I’ll kill him.”

Now instead of wriggling to get free, Neville had to wrestle Harry down to keep him from storming off. “No! Well yes. But no! You wanted me in Hufflepuff right? So I’m here! Unless you want me to go back?” Watching Harry sputter at the very idea of Neville going back, Neville had to grin. 

“No, you’re ours now. They can’t have you,” Harry announced firmly. He sat up now, and crossed his arms over his chest as he glared down at Neville. His sleepshirt was black with white letters spelling ‘NAPTIME’ and Neville filed that detail away to ask about later. “And Ron did do something cause I’ve been asking you to sleep in Hufflepuff for ages.”

Suddenly very, very aware that Harry was practically straddling his lap, Neville felt his face start to flush again and he shoved the Badger off, making Harry yelp as he suddenly fell sideways to the floor. “He was Ron, that’s all. I don’t know how he’s managing to follow you everywhere, but he’s actually managed to keep it close to his chest. I’m just counting on him not wanting me anywhere near the Tower anymore to make him not tell McGonagall.”

“Oh.. that’s clever..” from Justin in the next bed. “If he wanted to be spiteful he’d tell her immediately, but then he’d have to deal with you coming back. This way you aren’t, but he has to deal with the idea that you’re HAPPIER here.”

Ignoring Harry’s pout, Neville stood up and dusted his clothes off. Not that there was any dust in the dorm, but he needed something to do with his hands as he realized he’d be sleeping in the same bed as Harry, just like last time. “Exactly. And Ron’s selfish enough that I’m counting on the latter.”

Harry, clingy monster that he was, shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t _care_ why he doesn’t tell. I’m just glad you finally realized where you belong.” He flopped down onto his bed and stretched. ‘How long till light’s out?”

Ernie checked his watch. “Five minutes. If you hadn’t taken so long, we could have played a card game and welcomed Neville properly. But noo…”

“It takes time to properly-”

“IF YOU DON’T,” Roger half-yelled over Harry, “want to sleep with Harry, Merlin knows he turns into an octopus in his sleep, you can share my bunk Neville. I promise to keep my distance.” 

Without waiting to see how Neville felt, considering the offer had been made to him, Harry scowled darkly at Roger with- “he’ll be fine. You’re practically married to Hannah and how would she feel if you were to sleep with another student?”

Neville shook his head as now it was Roger’s turn to sputter in protest. “I’m not.. we’re not…”

Harry stuck his tongue out at Roger and pulled on Neville’s arm. “The Prefects will check on our lights soon and make sure we’re in bed-”

“Not that you stay in bed,” Ernie snarked.

“-and you dun wanna give them a reason to say you have to go right? So lay down already!”

“”Harry Potter, following the rules? We’re doomed…” Neville snickered. But he obeyed and laid down next to Harry, on the side away from the door just in case. Still got smacked with a pillow but after some wriggling and elbowing, they were both covered by the blanket and relatively settled when one of the Prefects checked on them. 

“Can’t wait for next year,” Justin murmured in the dark. “No enforced bedtime.”

Amid the various mutters of agreement, Neville closed his eyes and sighed. He didn’t have to worry about staying awake till the other boys were asleep, he didn’t have to worry about waking up before the other boys.. It was comfortable, warm, and relaxing. 

A little too comfortable perhaps.

Maybe not that relaxing.

Neville blinked up at the ceiling as Harry’s breathe drifted across his neck in a warm sigh.

Fuck.


	29. Housetrained

Harry bounced on his toes as he waited for Neville to finish lacing his shoes.

“Come ooooon!”

“Hold your Hippogriffs,” Neville muttered mulishly. His hair was going in all directions and Ernie’s borrowed pants didn’t exactly fit right in the legs and Harry’s borrowed sweatshirt was a little small in the arms, but until the Elves cleaned out his trunk of itching powder and broken gobstones, there was nothing Neville could do about it. 

At least his school robe had been cleaned and pressed for class later but finding clothes to wear for their morning run had been interesting. 

Harry looked Neville over and nodded happily. Neville should definitely wear normal clothes more often. You could see how well the baby-fat had melted off without all the robe layers, and he was looking as fit as the Quidditch players.

Harry was all revved up and ready to go make a couple laps around the lake. Neville was looking a little cranky which was odd, but Harry had slept amazingly well curled up against him all night, and now he was ready to take on the world! And he could forget about Ron for a while because there was no Gryffindor in the castle that would be up at the crack of dawn for something as annoying as good healthy exercise. 

Unless you were their Quidditch Captain, but Oliver Wood was insane. 

Maybe it was the name.. Oh, maybe he was a cousin. Harry should look into that!

“Oh fucking finally..” Harry grabbed Neville’s arm and hustled him out of the dorm. The rest of the Hufflepuff Running Club were waiting, mostly older students and the Quidditch team, but there was a sprinkling of Second Years too. No longer were Harry and Neville the youngest.

..maybe the _shortest_ …

Harry elbowed Neville sharply in the ribs for daring to mutter such a thing. Cedric, as Quidditch Captain and all around great guy, nodded at them. “Allright, everyone ready? Let’s head up then.”

The group was loosely organized in that everyone was allowed to go at their own pace as long as they made it to breakfast on time, but it was firmly established that everyone started at the same time. It was the only way to keep track of who had left the castle in case anyone went missing, and Cedric followed it zealously. 

Nor did he bat an eye at seeing Neville leaving the third year dorm at such an hour. Gossip traveled fast it seemed. However he did motion for the pair of them to come closer, because-

“You guys are gunna stick with the Quidditch team today, alright? I know you like to rabbit off Harry, but Sprout gave word last night that the Dementors have been acting shifty and getting close to the border at the far end.” He ruffled Harry’s hair as the boy pouted, and shooed him towards the barrels that lined the wall. 

Cedric winked down at Neville as the Badger-Lion joined the line of students shuffling out. “So how you adjusting to the Set, Nev? Sleep well?” For some reason the older boy only chuckled when Neville glared up at him. “I’ve got a book for you, so come see me at breakfast, ok?”

Neville muttered something that could have been an affirmative but Harry was pulling on his sleeve and dragging him through the barrel before Cedric could ask for clarification. A handful of Slytherins joined them at the stairs, and at the door were the usual Ravenclaws.. yawning and stretching as they prepared themselves.

Harry always found it funny how annoyed Neville looked when Blaise popped up, impeccably dressed in robes cut for a more active lifestyle than sitting at a desk waving a stick. Harry waggled a couple fingers at the boy, but carried on. 

Oh was it cold outside.. and bright. Why was it so bright? It was supposed to be dark for a few more months! It was BARELY spring dammit! Harry took a step, one measly little step, towards the stairs and the lake and _freedom_ when a hand clamped down on his shoulder. 

“Don’t you fucking dare, Potter. Wait for your Housemates.”

“Oh come on…!” Harry whined and wriggled, but Captain Flint just bunched up the material of Harry’s hoodie in his fist and waited till Cedric finally showed up with the last trickle of Hufflepuffs. He shoved Harry towards them, making the much, much smaller boy stumble.

“Buncha worrywarts..” Harry muttered. _Fine_. He’d glue himself to Cedric’s side among the Quidditch Team. Jerks. Neville patted at his arm. He made an odd little step to the side, but before Harry could question it, Neville pointed to the lake. 

“Think the Giant Squid will be out sunning today?”

“Stop trying to make it summer already!”

Neville yawned, and side-stepped again, forcing Harry to turn with him. And Cedric was in on it too because he chose that moment to start jogging and Harry’s legs started moving instinctively. Rude bastards, first he couldn’t get them to move and now he couldn’t get them to stand still while he made his point. 

Harry pouted. 

Not for long of course, it felt too good to stretch out his legs and move. The slow but steady pace meant he could poke at Neville behind Cedric’s back until Neville tried to swat at him. And miss since his eyes were only half open. Harry poked at him again, and was awarded with Neville scowling at him and trying to grab his arm. 

Harry darted to the other side of Cedric and was delighted when Neville chased after him, revenge clearly on his mind. The pair of them ended up going in literal circles around the older Hufflepuff, until Cedric finally grabbed one in each hand and moved them apart. 

“Enough guys. If you’re this energized, then it means we’re going too slow. Come on.” Cedric didn’t have to necessarily move faster, just lengthen his stride to make the mere third years scramble to adjust. Harry more so than Neville and he’d never forgive him for it. 

Harry did debate, briefly, tripping Cedric, but older boy was so... _nice_. It’d only make Harry feel bad. He glanced at Neville, who looked over at the same time. When Neville grinned, Harry knew they were in agreement and took off down the path at a dead sprint. He heard Cedric shout something as they ran off, but he caught the exasperation more than the words themselves, and took it to mean the Sixth Year would let them run it out before scolding them. 

Eh, Harry didn’t have to listen.

Ducking and weaving between the students who started off before Cedric finally got his ass in gear, Harry cackled and decided to veer off the path and towards the lake. The ground was wet and slippery but he enjoyed the squelching under his boots. Going by the sounds behind him, Neville was having trouble keeping his feet under him.. and that gave Harry an idea.

It would have worked out too, but suddenly instead of Harry tripping Neville into the lake, Harry found _himself_ sitting waist deep in the freezing water. He might have misjudged the where the edge of the lake was. 

“Holy shit. Fuck. That’s cold!” he wheezed. He turned a wounded expression towards the Lion-Badger standing at the edge of the water, perfectly dry and nearly purple with laughter.

“Shut the fuck up! My boots are too polished! They’re slippery!” As if to prove his point, when Harry tried to get to his feet to climb out of the lake, his boots slid right out from underneath him a second time and Harry faceplanted into the water. 

“Fuck _everything_ ,” Harry swore as he pushed his hair out of his eyes. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared out over the lake as Neville laughed till he was breathless. Stupid fucking lake with it’s stupid early-morning fog banks. And stupid maybe-Giant-Squid tendrils. And those stupid fucking noisy frogs. 

Wiping at his eyes, Neville calmed down enough to ask- “You gunna get up anytime soon? You’re going to freeze to death.”

“Good. I’ll sit here until I’m a popsicle and all of you can feel bad about it.”

“I wouldn’t say we’d feel _bad_ …” Neville teased. While staying firmly out of reach. As if he thought Harry would yank him down into the water if he got even a smidgeon closer. Which admittedly, is exactly what Harry would have done so.. yeah.

“Breakfast will get cold.”

Harry stuck his nose in the air, though the effect was slightly ruined by the shivering he couldn’t stop.

“Cedric’ll be here soon. He didn’t want you running off remember? ‘Cause of the Dementors?”

Good, Harry would pull him into the fucking water as well. Misery loves company. 

“I think I see Cujo.”

Harry perked up, turning his head to look back over his shoulder. The big black dog was scuttling out of the forest while looking back over his own shoulder in a very un-doglike way. Not that Harry would realize it, He’d grown up with SmileDog and THAT dog was certainly not normal. Harry stuck a couple fingers in his mouth, after wiping them off on his jacket, and whistled sharply to get Cujo’s attention.

The dog flinched at the sound, but swung their way, tail tucked deep between his legs. He ran right past Neville and into the water to whine at Harry, teeth tugging on the hood of his jacket. 

“Hey! Get off, you dumb fucking mutt!” Harry flailed but only sent water everywhere as the beast did his best to drag the boy out of the lake. “Goddammit! Neville, help!” 

“No, I’m good.”

“Mother fucker!” Harry couldn’t stand because Cujo was hauling him backwards, and he couldn’t turn around to shake the dog loose because he couldn’t brace himself on anything TO turn over. By the time Cedric popped up, Harry and Cujo were smeared head to toe in the slick, goopy mud, while Neville idly watched them wrestle. One intent on getting out of the water, one intent on staying ‘cause he was a stubborn fucker.

“....good Merlin…” Cedric sighed, hand coming up to cover his eyes.

Neville held up his hands. “I had nothing to do with this.”

As they watched, Harry fInally got some firm ground under his feet. Using it to brace himself, Harry ducked his shoulder and got it under Cujo’s belly. He chucked the dog into the lake with a good, forceful heave. 

And then landed on his ass when he slipped. Again. To Neville’s snort of amusement. 

“This.. is beyond my ability to clean. You’re going to have to wait till we get back to the Set and you can take a shower..” Cedric admitted dubiously, looking from mud-caked dog to mud-caked boy. 

“But.. but… Cedric, I’ll catch a cold and _die_!” Harry whined, Cujo echoing him right on cue. “You’d let a little dirt get in the way of my _health_?” He shot a dirty look (ha!) at Neville when the boy stuck his hands in his borrowed pockets and looked up to the sky rather than using the damn cleaning charm Harry knew he knew. And Neville knew Harry knew, he was just being a bastard because somehow it was Harry’s fault that he hadn’t slept well. See if Harry cuddled up to him again!

Well, that Cedric felt guilty enough to help smuggle Cujo down to the basement was almost as good as not being freezing and filthy. With Neville bringing up the rear, NOW bothering to cast cleaning charms on the muddy footprints boy and dog left behind the fucking bastard, the four of them got to the Hufflepuff commons without.. too much disruption. It was still too early for most people to be out and about.. thank god.

Still had to field some questions from the handful of students awake and relaxing in the Commons though, as Harry and Neville swiftly dragged Cujo through and straight to the bathroom of the Third Year dorm. They were only helping some stray animal they’d found freezing in the muck.. nothing to worry about. Really!

Ernie was awake. Sorta. And Justin. Roger was contemplating being awake, but he was swiftly convinced to get up and help. It was all hands on deck to get Cujo clean, the dog yelping and whimpering and trying to hide behind the toilets. 

Except Harry. Neville had shoved him into one of the shower stalls fully dressed since he was just as filthy but could be reasonably trusted to get himself clean. 

“Wait, why are we washing his dog while _he_ relaxes?” Roger demanded on the other side of the curtain, making Harry grin as he pulled his filthy coat and t-shirt off over his head. The Elves were going to be so mad.. or would they be so happy? Either way, his boots were going to need a LOT of polishing. Oh shit he was going to be going to class barefoot. Dammit. He tossed the soggy items out of the shower stall to pick up when he was finished.

“We’d never make it to breakfast or class if we waited for him to clean up himself and then clean up Cujo,” Neville pointed out in a perfectly reasonable way. 

“Could too, if you helped!” 

Harry was tempted to peek around the curtain at the dead silence. It hadn't been that bad of a joke had it? Wizards were such prudes he really despaired of them. Poor Hannah was going to die a virgin at this rate, if Roger was so unwilling to even joke about it.

Harry giggled quietly to himself before he focused on getting the muck out of his hair and ears and from between his toes. Fucking christ it was everywhere… he was sorely tempted to ask Neville for help for real. But then, Neville would see the long red welts trailing down Harry’s arm from scratching in his sleep and get mad all over again.

Harry didn’t see why. Sure it was a stress-tic, but there were worse ones to have. Toby tended to bite his nails to the quick and then off completely and it was soooo gross to watch. What was a little scratching compared to THAT?

Ron just needed to die in some justifiably horrible way and Harry wouldn’t be stressed anymore. Surely that wasn’t too much to ask when one was under the care of an Eldritch Horror God.

...Neville still wouldn’t give him an answer to the question that Harry, that Boy desperately wanted to know. Neville was the worst sort of person to tell him only part of the secret, because it was one thing to say he wanted to kill his grandmother, but Boy wanted to know how. It would say a lot about Neville, the method he dreamed of using.. And the bastard refused to tell! How fucking rude.

Listening to his friends fight with getting Cujo clean, it was hard to stay grumpy no matter his thoughts. So Harry brushed them aside and finished up. He’d not thought to bring any clothes with him but there was always heaps of clean towels so he secured one around his waist before sticking his head into the other stall. 

Cujo had closed his eyes tightly and almost seemed to be visualizing himself in any other place but here in the bathroom and covered in suds. Between the four of them, the dog was just about cleaned and smelling of Ernie’s expensive sandalwood shampoo. 

“Nice. Good job guys.”

Without evening looking at him Roger barked out - “PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!”

See? Prudes. 

Harry sniffed at the demand, but obeyed. He was just getting his school tie properly knotted when Cujo came barreling out like a fluffy-furred comet and dived under Harry’s bed. His back feet scrambled against the floor a few times before the dog vanished completely. Surprising, Harry would have thought him too big to fit. But when one was desperate enough… Harry sprawled out on top of the bed and leaned his head over the far edge to get a look at the poor beast. 

“You gunna live?”

Cujo gave him the dirtiest look he’d ever gotten from someone covered in fur.

 

.


	30. Getting Physical

.

“I wouldn’t have thought you’d agree to hiding a dog in the dorm. Aren’t they messy?” As Hannah plucked a coarse black hair from Ernie’s shoulder and looked it over.

“Normally I would insist otherwise, but at the time Harry insisted it would be only for one night.” Ernie glared at the offending material. “And..”

“And?”

“It’s really, really funny to watch. You should see it- Cujo refuses to sleep anywhere but between Harry and Neville, no matter how much Harry complains or shoves him off the bed. It’s like watching a furry bludger with how determined he is to sleep on the bed. I would almost swear he _argues_ with Harry too, growling and barking when Harry shouts at him.”

Hannah started giggling, hand covering her mouth. “He has something against snuggling?”

Ernie snorted. A sound oddly echoed by the black dog draped over Harry’s legs, who was draped in turn over Neville’s, using his knees as a pillow. 

Now that they could freely smuggle Neville in and out of the House, the Third years were using their private study room more and more often. The Puff’s could sit at the desks or on the floor with the cushions, however they were most comfortable. Or however Harry was most comfortable with reading a book on the history of hexes. He’d gotten it from Flint, not as a gift so Harry had to give it back, but Flint had thought Harry might be interested in it. The pictures were what fascinated Harry more than the boring details. Wizarding pictures moved and left _nothing_ to imagination

Neville winced every so often, but read the book over Harry’s shoulder while idly playing with Harry’s loose hair. Every so often he came across a dollop of dried paint and Neville paused to pick it free. Had he been painting the canvas or himself? “It’s almost time for your detention with Snape.”

Cujo growled and Harry reached down to scratch him behind the ears. “Yeah yeah.. Don’t let Cujo have anymore snacks while I'm out. He’s gunna get fat if we don’t find a way to exercise him and then we’ll have to eat him.” 

Neville rolled his eyes as Harry climbed to his feet, shoving the dog off his legs as he did so. “We’re not going to eat Cujo.”

“Course not. We need to fatten him up first.”

Before Harry moved out of range, Neville reached up and stole the book from his hand. Holding it by the very edge of the cover, he said- “I’ll put this in your trunk for you.” He could only imagine the teacher’s reaction to Harry having a book that bordered on illegal. Flint was an asshole to be passing it around so casually. 

Harry patted him on the head in amusement. “I’m off then! No need to make the man any crankier than he’ll already be. Can’t possibly have any dirty cauldrons so soon.. bet I’ll be spending the evening re-organizing the stillroom. Again. Anyone seen my gloves?” 

Harry had to turn out his backpack on his bed to find the leather gloves underneath all the junk, but that didn’t take long so he was soon off, leaving Cujo to stare after him with large mournful eyes. He knew the way to the Potions Classroom better than his own dorm room after all the time he spent going to and from detention. Harry didn’t even bother knocking anymore, just opened the door and walked right in to his second Home Away From Home.

“ ‘sup Professor.”

“Mr. Potter.” Snape acknowledged with a sharp nod. “Wait for me in my office.” 

His distraction was obvious, there was at least half a class of Fourth Year Ravenclaws present and scrubbing away at the stone floor and walls and… ceiling? What had they been trying to brew? Harry skirted through them and tried not to knock anyone’s bucket over as he headed for the office in the back. 

Well if Snape already had a fleet of slaves cleaning the room top to bottom, what was left for Harry to do? Harry wouldn’t exactly mind having a free evening..

Harry kicked back in the chair at the desk, NOT Snape’s chair because Harry didn’t have a death wish, geez. He was sitting in the chair meant for the student he was and looked around the room while he waited. And waited. And got bored. But it was completely nonsense that he got caught standing on the Professor’s desk to get a closer look at some pickled animal parts on a high shelf, and shame on everyone for believing such ridiculous gossip.

“...’sup Professor? Oh Hey Flitwick! What brought you down here?” Harry very slowly bent his knees until he could sit on the edge of the desk, very slowly swinging his feet down towards the ground. Maybe if he kept moving very slowly no one would notice what he’d been doing…

Snape looked down his long nose at him, eyes flaring in a beautifully dramatic way. “ _Potter_ ,” with a voice that was just seething with frustration. 

Professor Flitwick looked amused, but then he usually was by Harry’s less death-defying antics. “Good evening Mr. Potter. Severus here has some questions for you, and I’m here as a chaperone in case you felt.. mmm… intimidated.” The small teacher managed to look even more amused, because intimidated by Snape, Harry was not. 

“Oh. Cool. What are we talking about?”

Oh boy he really should have expected this, and a lot sooner now that he thought about it. When Professor Severus Snape took responsibility for something, by god he was going to do it with an eye-watering attention to detail. Which meant, after throwing Flitwick a look of complete betrayal, Harry had to suffer through a very thorough check up. 

Height, weight, temperature, blood type.. All using very Muggle, very modern gadgets. Well, as modern as a measuring tape could get. But the scales were entirely modern and Harry was astounded to see that gadgets could in fact work on the school grounds. 

“That’s so not fucking fair,” Harrry complained as he let the Potion Master use a syringe to pull a tiny vial of blood out of his arrm. “ _Everyone_ says electronics don’t work here!”

“Radios, Mr. Potter, were the main concern at the time of the ban. Things that could attract the attention of Muggles. Small things like this, or the occasional wristwatch, may work just fine but I don’t see the ban lifting any time soon.” Flitwick looked fascinated by the whole process. Being a Charms Master, Harry knew he’d know all the ways to magically acquire all the bits and bobs Snape was collecting, but the simple and practical Muggle ways were beyond his expertise. 

Harry rolled his eyes. 

“Take your robe off.”

“...is this the turn your head and cough time?” 

Snape glared at him, and if Harry wasn’t mistaken, he looked vaguely disgusted. “We all know you wear your Muggle clothes under your robe, Potter. Take it, and your shirt off, so that I may check your heart and lungs.”

“Oh. Okay.” Well that was a lot less fun but no, actually, Harry didn’t want this man’s hands anywhere near those parts of him. Harry assumed this was the part that had Flitwick present, and why him instead of Sprout since SHE was his head of house. Manly men for manly things! Harry’s giggle turned into a yelp when Snape slapped the cold metal of a stethoscope against his bare chest.

“Fuck!” as he squirmed away. 

“Detention!” Snape barked on reflex. Which they all ignored because honestly, Harry was booked solid. 

Harry sulked through the rest of the minor tests. Lungs, reflexes, eyes… Harry absolutely did not appreciate having a little flashlight aimed straight into his eyes. Especially his right eye, the red one. Harry jerked his chin out of Snape’s hand with a snarl, shoulders hunching as pain flashed through his head. “ _I’ll bite your fucking hand off if you do that again_!” Harry hissssed.

“I really think that should be all you need..” Flitwick hinted, not so subtly. Severus, pale but determined not to look spooked, hmmfed. 

“That is all Potter. Get dressed.”

Harry growled under his breathe a few choice words, pulling on his shirt and robe NOT because Snape said so but because it was fucking freezing in the dungeon and Harry hadn’t liked the lingering looks Snape had given the scant few scars crisscrossing Harry’s body.

And that seemed to be the next topic, damn him. 

“Those are claw marks on your stomach,” Severus said in a flat sort of tone, sitting behind his desk in the fancy-backed chair that screamed delusions of grandeur. Flitwick, relegated to a chair of the third class just like Harry, turned to look at Harry with raised eyebrows. 

Harry was in no mood, however, to be a fountain of information. He slouched down deep into the chair, arms crossed over his chest and glaring at the Potions Master darkly. His head was throbbing, centered over the right side of his face and fuck the both of them.

Snape’s eyes went narrow as he continued, “and a bite mark on your shoulder, of a large beast. Not to mention what looks like a stab-mark on your ribs. Shall I continue?”

“Can I stop you?” Harry snarked. 

Snape may be the Bat of the Dungeons, but Harry was the Mad Badger of Hufflepuff and he had no qualms with meeting Snape’s stare dead on and holding it. It was Flitwick who coughed and dragged their attention towards himself to break the intense glaring match. 

“It is our duty as Head of Houses to investigate instances of abuse Mr. Potter. These marks are… a bit out of the ordinary if I do say so myself.”

“They’re hardly even visible,” Harry whined. “He was looking for them, that’s the only reason he saw them. They healed just fine! And it’s not abuse, it was just fooling around- I have eight older brothers!”

“With _claws_?” Snape snapped at him, hands gripping the edge of his desk tightly. 

Flitwick hmmmed, gripping his chin in one hand as he stared up at the ceiling. “I have quite a few brothers myself.. “ His gaze went unfocused for a moment, and then puzzled as if he’d forgotten what he’d intended to say next. “Well. Boys will always be boys I suppose.”

If anything, Snape’s scowl turned even darker at the casual remark. “Yes, they will won’t they.” The utter coldness of the words had Harry losing his own glare and sinking back down into his chair with a more wary expression. Flitwick looked startled, then chagrined.

“My apologies Severus, that’s not what I meant. I only meant that a pack of rambunctious.. boys…” Flitwick trailed off uncomfortably, dragging a hand over his face. “Forgive me. Carry on.”

Snape glowered at the professor another few moments before transferring it over to Harry. “As I was saying. You have many marks that are a concern to me, but obviously discussing them will get us nowhere,” with another speculative glance at Flitwick. “As your primary medical _specialist_ , you will come to me if you have any problems. If I see you wandering around looking as if you have once more tussled with the Whomping Willow, I will...”

There was a long, expectant pause as Harry and Flitwick waited to see what Snape would come up with.

“...make you stand with your nose in a corner like the two year old you are.”

“I’m not a baby!” Harry protested instantly jumping up to his feet. 

Flitwick’s startled laugh was turned into a cough, the tiny Professor carefully schooling his face into one full of doubts. “A corner, Severus? Really?”

Really. The Potions Master was going to make him stand in a corner and face the ugly stone walls if he dared not bring himself to be checked on for getting so much as a scratch. Harry was infuriated. And vaguely terrified. Standing _still_? Alone? With nothing but the buzz in his ears and wandering thoughts to keep him company? Harry’s fingers crept up to the elbow of his opposite arm, fretfully scratching at the skin under his sleeve. Staring at blank walls made his head go funny..

Harry had honestly liked the Potions Master with his sarcastic comments and blunt resentment. To find out the man could also be needlessly cruel when Harry had done nothing wrong… Harry refused to say a single word to Snape for the rest of the evening, glaring at him over lips firmly clamped shut. Snape eyeing his hands had made Harry force them to be still, crossing them over his chest mulishly.

If Snape wanted Harry to answer his questions, he could beg for them.

Harry wasn’t usually sulking when he got back from his detention with Snape, so his glowering expression got a few raised eyebrows from his Roomates back in Hufflepuff. “Taking a shower!” he barked at Ernie when the boy opened his mouth to ask about it. The bathroom door slammed behind him in a very pleasing way, even if it did make his head ring like a gong.

After the charbroiling of his bad humor, Harry tripped over Cujo where the dog had situated himself right by the door. Combined with how he was glowering at Neville, Harry had to laugh. He ruffled the dog’s fur, smooshing his face between Harry’s hands. “Dumb mutt, you worry too much.” 

Now that Harry thought about it, Cujo had been slightly less friendly towards Neville ever since Harry had decided to teach him how to use a knife.. Neville that is. Not Cujo. The fool dog had nearly given himself a seizure with all the barking when Neville had accidentally sliced open Harry’s cheek with the knife. It’d been healed by the time dinner had rolled around, so not like it’d been that deep anyways. 

Neville had been horrified of course, but Harry thought it was progress. Now if Cujo would just get off his back about it.. SmileDog had never gotten this upset when Jeff got injured! Well.. he might have given Laff the cold shoulder once or twice.

Must be a dog thing then.

.


	31. Double Standards

“I’m going to bite him.” 

“He’d give you a disease.”

Harry’s nose wrinkled as he considered that, wrestling Cujo to the ground and trying to pin him there. The old dog was wiley though and nipped at Harry’s nose to make the boy flinch so that Cujo could wriggle away. He turned the tables by grabbing Harry’s jacket by the hood and pulling it over the boys head and knocking Harry to the ground.

“I’m surrounded by goddamn cheats…!” Harry whined. He leaned back against the tugging and let the hoodie go right over his head. 

Cujo ended up wearing it tied around his neck like a cape.

Harry flipped him off and rejoined Neville on the bed. “I wanna set him on fire.”

“Too noisy, he’d scream the castle down.”

“Feed him to the Fanged Geraniums?”

“They’d wilt from indigestion.”

More than a bit sulky, Harry kicked at Cujo when the dog tried to jump onto the bed, ears flat and glaring at Neville. “I could sneak into Gryffindor again and cut his throat in the middle of the night.”

There was a long pause and he turned to Neville expectantly. The consideration on the LionPuff’s face was new, but he only said- 

“How would you get the password?”

“Colin. By way of Hannah of course,” Harry grinned. He crawled further up the bed to lay across Neville’s knees. Neville was being a complete bastard today and was flipping through one of Harry’s sketchbooks like he thought he was allowed to go through Harry’s trunk. And don’t think Harry hadn’t noticed he was missing a few sketches!

“That’s _mine_.”

“Mmm… so after you got the password, you’d.. what? Just waltz in and stab him?”

“No, I’d cut his throat. Completely different. He wouldn’t be able to scream and would die choking on his own blood. Stabbing is stabbing, and doesn’t always end in death. Just screaming and pain. And if I can sneak in without you noticing, what’s gunna stop me from sneaking in to kill Ron?”

Neville didn’t have an answer for that. He knew Harry could do it, he knew Harry probably would do it with enough encouragement, and… Neville was finding it hard to not be the spark to set off that particular bonfire.

“No ..I don’t think it’d be a good idea,” Neville finally sighed. “The Aurors would come and of course you’d be the number one suspect. You could get dragged to the ministry and dosed with Veritasium.” Not that they had with Ginny’s investigation but the possibility was there.

“No no no. Keep up.” Harry held up a finger as he announced matter of factly-“Sirius Black would be the main suspect. He’s been inside the Gryffindor tower twice, was seen standing over Ron with a knife by multiple people. Obviously Ron is a target for some unknown reason. Two, everyone knows I’ve been avoiding Ron and that he’s been following me with his goddamn map. The one that no one takes seriously even though he flaunts the fucking thing.”

“I do. The Hufflepuffs know it’s bad news too, and Professor Sprout is just waiting for a reason to take it away from him.”

“Yeah but _until then_ she can’t do anything about it, which comes to the same end. He’s turned into a goddamn Slyth- NO, Cujo! Fuck!”

The big black dog, red jacket still tied around his neck, landed on the middle of the bed and rooted his head between the two boys and pushed them apart. He laid down the space he’d forcibly cleared and glared. 

“What kind of mother-fucking-hen are you? We weren’t even doing anything! Jesus Christ what are you going to do if we actually want to have sex?”

Neville had to laugh at the outrage, even as his cheeks went pink. He was both relieved, and disappointed, as Harry forgot about murdering Ron in cold blood and went back to wrestling with his dog. Eventually, both of them fell off the bed and hit the floor with a whining thump. And a yelp as Mimi took umbrage at having her teakettle kicked and spat sparks at them both.

“When the fuck did you all learn to be this sassy? I’m sending you to the goddamn pound! Or China! To be eaten!” 

“Have to fatten him up first,” Neville murmured with affection. He closed the sketchbook after delicately marking a couple pages to go back to later and shoved the whole thing back under Harry’s pillow. Rolling over onto his belly, Neville peered over the side of the bed to see what Harry was doing now that it had gone too quiet. 

Harry was looking pretty content surprisingly, using Cujo as a pillow and Mimi curled up on his chest. His hair was going absolutely _everywhere_. Blinking up at Neville lazily, “is it almost time for dinner yet?”

“Almost,” Neville agreed. When Mimi squeaked up at him, he very cautiously reached out to touch Mimi’s nose with a finger, making the little snake squeak again. Harry giggled as she then curled up in a tight ball on Harry’s chest, head just barely peeking out between her coils and flicking her tongue at Neville.

She was just so _cute_.

“Hey Harry?”

“Mmm?”

“Why does Ron make you so upset? Last year when most of the school was calling you evil and gossiping about you, you brushed it off. You barely even noticed it. Even when you were in the Daily Prophet nearly every week with a new conspiracy theory, you still weren’t as upset then as you are now. What makes Ron so special?”

“Mmmm…” Harry hummed again, eyebrows dipping down with a light frown. With Cujo wearing his bright red jacket and Harry’s robe discarded for the evening, Neville could see the long pink marks running from elbow to wrist on Harry’s bared arms. Harry trailed his fingertips over the marks and made a face.

“ ‘cause he’s cheating.”

“But.. YOU cheat all the time!”

“No, I’m _skilled_. If he was tracking me down because he’d learned where I like to go, if he was using his withered peanut shell of a brain, it’d not be such a problem. Could have even been fun! But noooo, he’s just a _scavenger_ , using his betters to hunt for him rather than doing it himself.”

Cujo whined at the utter contempt in Harry’s voice, head turning to nudge at Harry. Harry swatted him away because hush, the adults were talking.

“Ah.” Well that did clear up a few things, leaving Neville amused and with a new idea on how to fix the now-silly mess. “Then shouldn’t you be proud of the fact he’s had to resort to using magic to keep up with you, since you’re so good at evading people otherwise?”

Harry scowled up at him, red eye gleaming. “That’s not..” he trailed off and glared harder. 

“And if Ron is already cheating so badly,” Neville reasoned out, propping his chin on a fist, “then doesn’t that mean you can do the same and mock him entirely? And that would give you back some time for your other stuff. Wasn’t Flint going to let you play with the team while they practiced? I remember him saying you were great for making them learn to react faster..”

Harry blinked a few times. “...oh. Shit. You’re right. I completely forgot about that. And it took him so long to stop yelling at me for what I did to the Firebolt.. twice. Damn, I forgot to even order another one!” Harry stared up at the ceiling, expression smoothing out to thoughtful. 

He stayed that way until the small clock by the door started to chime softly. Neville had spent the time playing with Mimi, booping the little snake on the nose with his finger whenever she squeaked at him. She’d hide back inside her coils for a few moments, and then stick her head back out to flick her tongue at him. It was like playing Peekaboo with a baby, which of course she still was.

“Time for dinner. We should have been doing our homework, since Magic knows you won’t have time after we eat..” Neville sighed. Being responsible sucked.

Harry flapped a hand at him and shooed Mimi away. She squeaked at Neville one last time before slithering off under the bed with the air of someone who had places to go and things to see. She’d be back by bedtime, after spending the evening setting cobwebs on fire and scorching some mice tails. Though how she got out and around the castle.. it was the secret of the Familiars. No one actually saw them come or go in the castle, they just _did_.

Once Mimi was out of the way, Harry rolled to his feet and yanked his coat free of Cujo. “I gotta brush my hair first I guess, I look like the bastard child of Medusa.”

“Only a little,” Neville agreed. And grinned at Harry’s affronted glare. He rolled over onto his back and stretched his arms over his head, listening to Harry mutter darkly under his breath all the way to the bathroom. Turning his head, Neville found Cujo sitting right. There. Staring at him intently. 

“Bite me and I’ll skin you alive,” he told the beast. He couldn’t really blame Cujo for being antsy though, he’d been stuck inside the Badger Set for ages, the Hufflepuffs too worried about Ron bearing down on them and banning the dog from the grounds. 

The stare somehow intensified. Neville had the feeling that Cujo was trying to tell him something and once more he was reminded that there was something very odd about this dog. Very, very odd. 

Harry broke up the staring match when he came marching back with his hair tidied up into a ponytail. Using one of Hannah’s hair ribbons too, the trailing ends curling against his bare neck. It was pretty cute, though the last time a student had tried to point that out Harry had slammed their face into a bannister. Maybe it had been less about the snotty tone the boy had used and more that he’d reached out to pull on the ribbon.. Either way, he’d ended up with a broken nose and Harry hadn’t even missed a step, trotting downwards without a backwards glance. 

The sheer casualness of the move had been breathtaking. Leaving people wondering if it had actually happened or…?

Neville was sure if the boy had been anyone _but_ a Slytherin there would have been more of a fuss, especially with him being a sixth year, but the Slytherins were an odd group who still seemed to hold Harry in some sort of awe. 

Unless you were Flint of course, who cuffed Harry upside the head as he strode by. “Wreck them on the field, Potter, not the halls!”

The Captain then rolled his eyes at Neville, who was the one that paused to cast a healing charm then a cleaning charm over the bloodied Slytherin before continuing after Harry. Neville could hear Flint mock his Housemate for being so loose-lipped but.. that was it. No hexes to the back or thinly veiled threats. They treated Harry like a prince. 

Or a Dark Lord.

Or if you were Draco, a badly trained Krup puppy who needed his nose smacked with a newspaper.

“Draco!” Harry’s delight at seeing the boy almost seemed sincere.

The blonde scowled down his pert pureblood nose at the exuberant call, and for a moment Neville thought he was going to turn around and leave the hall. But that would have admitted defeat so the Slytherin did his best to ignore Harry and seated himself at the long table with his back to the Hufflepuffs. 

“Aww… think he’s mad at me for neglecting him?”

“Unless you two have broken up,” Neville supplied with a hint of a smirk.

Harry turned to him with wide eyes, ribbons waving in the air at the sudden move. “We broke up? When the fuck did that happen? Where’s Hannah… HANNAH!”

The other blonde, the prettier one if you believed the school body, waved from the doorway as the Third Years started to trail in. “Yes? I can’t BELIEVE Professor McGonagall kicked you out again! You’d think someone who lectures so often on responsibility would be a little more understanding..” Hannah seated herself to Harry’s left, since Neville was on his right. 

“Eh. Cujo needed some attention, he’s getting mopey. And I caught him eating Justin’s gingersnaps so I’ll have to replace those again. But more importantly- have I broken up with Draco?”

“Hmm..” she tapped a finger against her lips. “I haven't heard anyone gossiping about it, which means you’ve not had a big blow out. So unless you’ve broken up quietly and respectfully without any witnesses.. I don’t believe you have. Why?”

“I think he’s mad at me. Should I give him flowers?”

Neville shook his head as Hannah listed all the ways to apologize to a loved one, in the traditional sense of course. Harry looked as if he liked the idea of a big public apology.. but then the bigger the spectacle the more Harry would enjoy mortifying the poor guy. Draco, Neville knew, had likely been enjoying the reprieve Ron had accidentally given him, not that Draco would ever say so out loud.

“No no, roses are too cliche. It doesn’t really matter what the flowers are if you want to deliver them in person to apologize. Just.. make sure they’re not black. Or dead. No Harry, I mean it! No dead roses!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .
> 
>  
> 
> Well, holidays are over and back to the grind, eh? Fingers crossed I can get back to Friday updates with as little delay as possible. Harry has things to do and Neville has to keep him alive after those things are done! But.. uhh. please don't shout at me if things do get delayed a little, I don't have a chapter buffer anymore and my keyboard is being a bit.. wonky :(


	32. Spring Madnss

.

“OW!”

“Not even close. Try again.” A little more gently this time, Harry traced the rune over the back of Neville’s hand with an empty quill. He really was trying not to dig into the skin with the metal tip, really!, but it was just so hard. And now he wanted to lick the droplet of blood that beaded up from the sorry-not-sorry scratch.

To be completely honest, Harry loved his Runes class. Possibly even adored it. He whined and complained about the homework, and tried repeatedly to steal Neville's if he thought the LionPuff wasn’t giving him enough attention, but he loved the class nonetheless. It not only gave him ideas, but also a better understanding on how the Slender Man’s sigils worked. 

As a bonus, it pissed off Hermione Granger because Harry actually tried in this class and his soaring grades proved it. She seemed to be taking it as a personal insult that Harry was now competing for Top of the Class.

Or that Harry was determined to pull Neville’s grades up with him one painful doodle at a time. 

“....fehu?”

“Yup. Now gue-” Harry pouted as Neville yanked his hand away, shaking it out as he scowled back over his shoulder. 

“Not until you use something less sharp!”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Fine, you big baby. I’ll use a pencil.” When Neville’s eyes narrowed in suspicion, Harry held up the implement and waggled it. “I’ll use the blunt end.”

Neville stuck his tongue out at him, but turned back to face away from Harry and the hand on the desk between them. Neville drummed his fingers against the wood a few times just to be irritating. Harry stabbed the pencil into the desk between Nevillee’s fingers in retaliation but Neville had been expecting it and grabbed the pencil to take it away from Harry.

The very quiet fight that followed was hilarious to watch for the bystanders, because neither boy wanted to cause a ruckus loud enough to be thrown out of the library by Madam Librarian. Harry tried to pinch Neville to make him let go of the pencil, a small battered thing with tooth marks and a broken tip. But Neville twisted around to grab the pinching hand too and hold it captive. This ended up with their combined four arms awkwardly entwined and unable to do anything more. 

Well, do anything that wouldn’t get them thrown out. 

Harry whined but Neville only grinned at him. “ _Fine_. I yield, you fucking prick.”

The snicker only made Harry’s pout deepen. Slouching down low in his chair Harry sulked as Neville turned his own chair to face Harry better and motioned for him to put his hand on the table. “Your turn. Close your eyes and tell me what the rune is.”

“Bossy,” Harry muttered. 

Hannah propped her chin in a hand and watched as Neville used the pencil to trace one rune and then another across the back of Harry’s hand and up his wrist. Harry frowned, eyes still closed, and his lips moving silently as he puzzled through the series because Neville was a _cheat_. 

Her pale blue eyes flicked from one boy to the other, both concentrating in different ways but completely focussed on each other. Susan was of course still seething over how they refused to go on a date to Hogsmeade, or rather that _Neville_ still refused. And seeing as how Harry toyed with Draco every chance he got, Hannah could see why Neville was being stubborn. 

Red flashed over by the bookshelves and Hannah shifted her attention from the lovely little drama to the lurking Ron Weasley. Always lurking. Always spying. His two friends were likely nearby too, all of them doing their best to catch Harry doing something nefarious . At least Harry had stopped fretting over it like a cat in a room filled with rocking chairs.

Complaints made to Professor Sprout, especially when Ron started stumbling down the stairs half dressed to join the running group just to follow Harry around, had forced the woman to admit-

“I’m sorry my dears, but there’s nothing I can do. He’s not gone anywhere he shouldn’t, nor has he done anything he shouldn’t. Not this time. And if he is someplace he shouldn’t be.. well, why are _you_ there?”

Not having an answer for that, the students had retreated back to their study room. They couldn’t hide out in the Badger Set all the time though, some essays required more books and information then they as mere Third Years had at hand. Thus the current situation. 

And while Hannah admired the delicate touch Neville used to keep Harry amused and distracted, it would only work for so long. Unless.. ah, yes, such a clever boy. Harry’s frown was starting to smooth out and he was leaning into his hand, elbow braced on the tabletop. It didn’t happen every time, but _sometimes_ if you could get Harry to relax and sit still long enough he’d start to fall asleep.

It was absolutely precious when Harry dozed off while Hannah painted his nails, and it gave her a lot of leeway when it came to colors.. and she could pretend that Ron lurking around all the time didn’t give her the heebie jeebies. As long as he stayed away from the polyjuice potion things should be fine. Yes. 

Hannah was interrupted from her thoughts by the touch of something hot wrapping around her ankle. Pushing away from the table with a partially-muffled squeal, she found a beautifully glowing snake using her leg as a ladder. Before the snake could get inappropriately high, Hannah coaxed Mimi onto her arm instead and set the Firesnake onto the tabletop. 

“And where have you been, young lady?” she cooed. Most girls might have been afraid of snakes, but Hannah was used to Mimi and cheerfully kidnapped the gorgeous thing on cold days. 

Mimi flicked her tongue, giving Hannah’s nose the tiniest of kisses before slithering off (Ernie frantically picking up his half-finished essays before she could leave scorch marks) and she coiled up in front of Harry’s face. Hannah pressed a hand over her mouth as the dainty, ruby-red snake sucked in a deep breath, inflating like a very narrow balloon, before opening her mouth wide and wailing like a freshly boiled tea kettle. 

Harry’s head jerked up and his hand slammed down onto the table with a BANG that made most of the Hufflepuffs jump. His sudden lurch to the side also had the consequence of tilting his chair and spilling the poor boy to the floor. 

“Fucking christ!”

“Shhhhhhhhh!” a hiss from the front of the room. The librarian presumably, and was likely on her way to throw them out with Mimi still shrieking her displeasure. Robes tangled around his legs, best Harry could do was get up on his knees to at least see over the top of the table, where he _hisssed_ back at the snake viciously. 

Mimi’s mouth snapped closed and her head reared back. Even if her snakey face couldn’t really hold an expression, Hannah knew the little snake was deeply offended. And Hannah also noticed- 

“Harry! She’s bleeding!”

“Maybe if she’d leave the stupid rats alone she wouldn’t be!”

Without explaining such an odd statement, Harry grabbed the bright red snake and stuffed her inside his robe, ducking back down below the table just as Madame Librarian turned the corner. “If you can not be quiet you must leave!” The woman peered at the Hufflepuffs sitting around the table who merely blinked back at her innocently. 

“It was the Gyrffindors,” Hannah pointed out helpfully. And then literally pointed them out.

“Out! Out! I won’t tolerate this nonsense in my library!” Madam Pince wasn’t having it, there would be no rowdiness in HER library and Gryffindors were the worst of the lot! Even as Ron protested, throwing Hannah a dirty look, the three Lions were briskly shunted right out.

“Good work,” Susan murmured. Hannah beamed at her but before she could say anything, like demand Harry take poor Mimi to the nurse or something, there was a hiss from under the table and a sudden THUD as if something had connected quite hard with the underside. Then Neville flinched and there was a second thud as his knee also hit the table, though not as hard a Harry’s head had.

Justin glared at the giant ink blob in the middle of his essay. 

“Did you just BITE me?” Neville hissed, pushing his chair from the table so he could see under it. Whether he meant Harry or Mimi didn’t really matter, both were very likely options. Well.. no, Mimi would spit sparks at him if she’d been upset. So…

Harry hissed again and Neville, from what Hannah could tell, kicked him. There was a third and final thud from under the table, making Justin throw his hands up in the air and scrap the entire page with it’s good half dozen ink smudges now, and Harry crawled out from under the table on the side furthest from Neville. Which was convenient because his hair was a mess and Hannah needed to fix it.

While Hannah tied his wild curls back with a ribbon, Harry laid his cheek against her knee and pouted. “Neville’s being a bitch.”

“I’m sorry you think so. By the way, Mimi was bleeding,” just in case he’d forgotten, “you should take her to...uhh… Professor Snape.” NOT Hagrid. She still remembered the flobberworms and Hagrid ignoring all his classes in favor of his student-attacking Hippogriff.

“Hmmf. Bloody vampire would love to get his claws into her. Suck her dry and make fireball potions. No, she’ll be fine. But do you know how many goddamn corridors I’m going to have to search through to find the damn rat? It’ll take days! Years! I’ll turn into a withered old man like Dumbledore!” Harry’s pout deepened. “Maybe Cujo can help..”

Hannah giggled. Giving his head one last pat, “I’m sure you’ll manage. Now please get off the floor before someone starts even more rumors about us.”

“You _like_ rumors,” Harry protested. He put a hand on her calf and started to run it upwards towards her knee with a grin. Only to snatch his hand away with a yelp as he got a really good ZAP of electrical shock. Magical shock. “Nevermind. I’ll be good.” Shaking his hand out under Hannah’s smug little smirk, Harry blew on his fingers to make the sizzling feeling stop.. No inappropriate touching, right. He’d forgotten about the earrings in his moment of teasing and now his fingernails tingled. Not his hand, his fingernails. The dead parts anyways.

Harry climbed to his feet mainly using the edge of the table to pull himself up and thank god for sturdy furniture practically nailed to the floor. Children were heathens when it came to furniture and this stuff needed to last through hundreds of them sitting and flopping and pushing and banging.. On. Banging on. No one was banging the tables though you never know with some people..

Hannah tilted her head and her pretty diamond earrings sparkled in the light. “Thank you.”

Harry wrinkled his nose at her and turned to Neville expectantly. “I need to go rat hunting.”

He waited for Neville to respond.

And waited.

And _waited_.

Harry was rewarded for his patience when Neville finally closed hiss Ancient Runes textbook, carefully marking the page with a bookmark... Then opened up another book.

“ _Nev_!”

“Did you need something?” Drawling without looking up from his textbook.

Harry looked at Hannah, who was twirling a pigtail between her fingers as she wrote, and back to Neville who was staunchly refusing to look up. Justin was muttering something under his breath as he started his essay over, copying the ink splattered sentences onto fresh parchment. Ernie and Roger and Susan weren’t paying attention at all to Harry’s woes and had stuck their heads close together to discuss a set of runes heatedly.

“Fine. I’ll go by myself. All alone. Without any back-up or support for when Ron finds me. Maybe I’ll challenge him to a chess match.”

“Good luck with that.”

Harry stared but Neville didn’t seem to be joking. He really was going to let Harry leave and go wander around by himself while Neville did his homework. 

But.. but….

Feeling oddly abandoned, much like his own homework left on the table as Harry skulked away with his hands in his robe pockets and snake around his neck, Harry pouted all the way to the library doors. No red-head waiting for him outside oddly enough, but without Neville at his back Harry was kind of okay with that. Neville grounded him and kept him from stabbing Ron in the eye with the potions knife Harry definitely was _not_ carrying on his person.

But.. but..

Neville was such a fucking prick. Harry had just about reached the end of the hallway where the stairs began before he finally deemed to show up. Looking back at the sound of footsteps, Harry scowled at the unrepentant Lionpuff.

“What, you thought I’d actually let you go by yourself? Don’t be so stupid.”

Harry stuck his tongue out at him. And got himself clipped under the chin for it, biting his own tongue. He couldn’t even bitch about it because Neville had learned that move from him and why was everyone picking on him today?

“I hate all of you.”

“Nonsense. Now where are we going again?”

Deciding to be gracious and allow the change of topic, Harry said- “dungeons. Mimi’s been hunting mice down there, and rats, and I guess there’s a tunnel system going on that leads from floor to floor because I know she didn’t take the stairs. So let’s go hunt some rats. The teachers might even thank us!”

“...no, probably not. But wishful thinking never has never hurt someone I suppose.”

Harry might have tried to trip Neville on the stairs, but in his defense Neville was being a snarky ass and they were close to the ground floor. It wouldn’t have hurt him! Much. The hike itself to the dungeons wasn’t all that eventful, pass a few students here, watch Peeves harass Mrs Norris there.. Nothing special. Even stumbling upon Draco and his entourage was for per usual. Right down to Harry’s delighted-

“Draco!”

Neville sighed quietly as Harry bounced on the ball of his feet and beamed at the blonde. Neville checked his satchel for a handkerchief or two for the inevitable round of sneering and tussling and Harry would end up bleeding again from getting slapped because Harry _always_ ending up bleeding when he wanted to be an ass, and..

Neville’s head snapped up when instead of an acidic “ _go away Potter_!” there was this overly happy “Darling, there you are!” 

Draco, with Pansy at his side and the burly boys at his back, grabbed Harry and pulled him into a hug, lightly pecking a kiss to his cheek. Using Harry’s stunned silence to his advantage, Draco released him from the light hold but tucked one of Harry’s hands into his elbow. “Thank you so much for the flowers, I love them. I thought maybe we could take a nice romantic walk around the lake tonight. Admire the stars and talk about our future.”

Harry gaped up at him, eyes so wide they were nearly perfect circles of surprise. “You.. what?”

“I’ve been thinking, I’ve been terribly cruel to you all these months, but I’ve really seen the light, I promise. I will shower you with as much love and adoration as you’ve shown me, it would only be fair. I very much look forward to taking you on the dates you deserve!”

With every word that spilled forth from the snooty blonde, Harry’s horror grew. Trying to get his hand back from Draco’s suddenly iron grip, Harry sputtered a few times before finally getting out-

“You can’t be fucking serious. Let me go dammit! Nev!”

Draco yanked Harry forward so he could hiss directly into the Hufflepuff’s face. “As long as you persist in throwing yourself at me, then I will most assuredly make sure you get _exactly_ what you deserve.” 

Harry stumbled back when Draco released him, eyes still wide enough for a train to tunnel through. He continued to back up until he thumped into Neville and he leaned back into the Lionpuff. He was most thoroughly unsettled by this threat and craved the warm comfort of another body. The very idea of Draco treating him as.. as… a _boyfriend_ , made Harry’s stomach want to curl up and die. Romantic walks? Dates? Fuck that.

 _Now_ Draco sneered at them, hand going up to smooth his hair back. Not that it would dare allow a single hair out of place with as much gel as he wore. He took up Pansy’s hand now and led her out of the Dungeon with his nose stuck firmly in the air.

Neville hesitated a moment, but wrapped his arms around Harry and rested his chin on Harry’s shoulder. He could tell Harry was still trying to figure out what the hell just happened between him and Draco and needed a moment to collect himself.

“..he wouldn’t. Would he? What about his reputation? He hates me!”

“I mean, it’s already in tatters isn’t it? A lot of people DO believe you two are dating. Sort of. And the Slytherins might be pressuring him to play along…” Neville had no idea which side he was supposed to be taking but it would be over his dead body if Draco ever tried that again. 

Not that he had to worry about that of course. 

“I’ll fucking stab him if he tries that again. What the fuck? Has everyone gone mad around here? Fucking Christ can’t a person play a few games without everyone fucking cheating?”

Neville grinned as Harry started to get louder, discomfort banished under a wave of ranting and huffing. Unlike Harry’s squirming to get away from Draco, he allowed Neville’s hug to last a few more moments before he had to start flailing his arms to aid his vocal discontent.

“What the hell are the rats gunna do now? I just wanna set a few vermin on fire for Mimi because she’s injured and deserves some fun, and I just bet they’ll find a way to screw with me too! Like.. learn to fly or something! I hate this school!”

“Ahem.”

Harry half turned and threw his hands up with a wordless screech of being SO DONE WITH ALL OF THIS. Because even on his best of days, Harry was still a two year old.

The tall dark and brooding Potion Master didn’t look impressed. “Longbottom, the Headmaster asks that you meet him in his office. Your Grandmother is here to speak with you. Potter, I _know_ you weren’t planning on skipping my detention because that would be the utmost foolishness at this time.”

“MotherfffsssSSSSS…”

Mimi spat sparksfrom her place at Harry’s throat, tiny red head peeking out of his singed collar.

So much for their hunting trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Hi peeps! Depending on how the week goes, next Friday's chapter might b pushed back. I want to get the following chapters really solid because the end of the year is coming up and Endings are always tricky as hell. I know inconsistently is really annoying but I'd rather late than stupid, you know?
> 
> You're all amazing and thank you for sticking with me :D
> 
> *A quick note, tomorrow's update HAS been moved to next week. Sorry for the disappointment.


	33. Chase Me

Unlike Harry who showed his anger by being unapologetically loud with a lot of flailing, Neville held his in close and _seethed_. He didn’t yell, but if asked a question he’d snap out the answer with clipped words. He’d only been back from his meeting with the Headmaster and his Grandmother a few minutes, but the girls were already looking uneasy, sneaking little glances at him from the corners of their eyes.

Even Harry was looking unnerved by fury that wafted off of Neville like a fine perfume, so something had obviously not gone right tonight.

Of course with Harry being Harry, while the other Puffs began to tiptoe around so as to not be the one who caused a volcanic blast, Harry was trying to fuel the fire because he was an idiot who longed for the cold embrace of death. What was Harry doing? Literally poking at Neville with the sharp end of a quill, likely even the one he’d been using earlier with their game in the library.

Cujo kept reaching up to paw at Harry’s arm whenever the boy would reach out to jab Neville in the side. The dog hadn’t taken his eyes off the LionPuff since the boy had sat down in the study room, jaw clenched so tightly that Roger had tentatively offered to go fetch a migraine potion before deciding he needed to go take a shower before bed. The girls made their excuses and left soon after. Ernie and Justin traded glances but decided to quietly finish their chess game.

Cujo had tried to sit himself between the two boys but Harry kept pushing him out of the way, roughly wrestling him to the ground when the dog got too persistent. Now he just sat nearby and sort of… hovered.

What a _strange_ dog.

Harry still needed to figure out how he was going to get the mutt home too. “Nev. Neville. ‘ville. Nevvers. Nevil-titi. Umm…” Harry paused a moment to think. “Neville-Ever-After. Nev! Stop ignoring me!” This time when Harry reached out to poke Neville, the boy lashed out, snatching the quill from Harry’s hand and slamming it into the tabletop.

“I can _not_. Deal with you. Right now.”

Harry blinked very slowly at what used to be his pen. The metal nib of the quill was deeply imbedded into the wood, but the feather itself had been destroyed by the rough handling and drooped over sadly with ink dribbling out of the broken shaft. Harry tilted his head back a bit to get a better view of Neville’s face, taking in the whiteness around the lips and shift of muscles in the cheek as Neville ground his teeth against each other. Almost as if someone flicked a switch deep in his chest, Harry felt the cogs of his mind start to spin in a new direction. 

“We should go for a walk.”

“Later.”

“No. Now.”

Neville raised his eyes to meet Harry’s and glared. 

Going by Cujo’s unhappy whine, Harry’s responding smile wasn’t a very nice once. Too many teeth. It stretched the corners of his mouth with a painful twinge. “You, and I, are gunna go for a walk,” drawing out the words carefully. Intently. 

“ _Fine_.” Neville slammed his textbook shut, the parchment he’d been writing on getting caught in the pages and were now heavily creased and likely smearing ink everywhere. “Not like I’m busy or anything. _Of course not_.”

Harry hmmmed lowly, getting up to his feet. “Be right back.” Inside the dorm room itself, Harry pawed through his trunk quickly. He’d managed not to get his Christmas present confiscated, by the grace of god, but he needed a second knife. His potions kit, all of it by now, was in Snape’s possession but.. yes. Harry pocketed the switchblade that had been hidden in the very bottom of his trunk. Perfect. 

Neville still had the look of someone wishing to murder the world when Harry got back to him, catching the boy’s arm as he passed and dragged him towards the door. “Cujo, come! We’ll be back,” with a backwards wave to Ernie and Justin.

Harry’s detention with Snape had been shortened to make room for Ron’s, so it was going to be a piece of cake getting outside. It wasn’t curfew yet so there was no reason they couldn’t be outside. It was a little chilly, but that just meant fewer witnesses. Looking over his shoulder briefly, Harry switched his grip to Neville’s wrist and continued to pull the boy along towards the thick trees and shadows and what was going to be _so much fun_. His blood was already pumping in anticipation.

Under the cover of the trees, out of sight of the castle and where it was almost too dark to see anything, Harry pulled with Switchblade out of his hoodie pocket, and his favorite folded blade out of his boot. “Take this!”

Neville looked down at the knife Harry forced into his hand, face still settled into an expression of Go To Hell. It was not a good look for him, but an understandable one. The random meeting with the Headmaster had been a nightmare, because the elderly man had sent for Neville’s _Grandmother_ to have a chat about the problems with the Gryffindors. 

Because _Neville_ was the trouble maker. 

_Neville_ was the one who needed to see a Mind Therapist.

_Neville_ was the one that refused to get along with his housemates.

Grinding his teeth together, Neville looked up to glare at Harry. “This is ridiculous. You’re going to get me _expelled_.”

“Only if they catch us,” flashing that shark-toothed grin back at Neville. It made him both want to kiss Harry, and stab him with his stupid knife. An option that was looking better and better as Harry practically skipped up to him, getting right up in Neville’s face. 

“ _Tag_!”

 

\----

 

Neville’s anger kept the chill of the night at bay, and it wasn’t even that dark with the moonlight and the red glow that beckoned him onwards with mocking laughs and taunting words. It was easy to forget Ron’s sneering face and his Grandmother’s exasperated ‘what have you done now?’, but it was less easy to let go of how it felt to be belittled and brushed aside by those who should know better.

He was _not_ worthless. Or incompetent. He was not _insane_. Was he?

Neville hadn’t yet managed to tag Harry back, but he’d gotten close at one point and Harry had fought back viciously, as the sting of what Neville hoped was a shallow cut on his arm attested to. He was used to Harry pulling him into a random game here and there, but tonight… with the knives… the rules had changed. Something had shifted and Neville couldn’t put his finger on it.

It was still play, and it was still fun, but there was this edge of danger to it that was just..

The adrenaline rush was _wild_. Neville saw Harry duck behind a tree and took the chance to run to the other side in hopes of catching Harry off guard. Not likely, Harry had been running rings around him all evening, but there was still a chance! Harry had to get tired at some point! Eventually. Harry was usually more a slow stalker when they were out playing in the forest, Neville had sat back and watched him carefully creep up on a deer until he was close enough to cut its throat, but he’d also seen Harry run around like a Krup chasing its tail until he just fell over from exhaustion, too.

Either way, there was no way in hell that Neville would be able to catch him without Harry letting himself be caught. Case in point- he rounded the tree and Harry was just standing there with his hands up in the ‘I surrender’ pose. 

Not that Neville believed it. He tackled the Badger to the ground and sat on his stomach to keep him pinned down.

“Tag,” Neville said simply, once he was sure Harry was down and not easily able to spring away. 

“Nuh uh. You didn’t do it right, so you’re still ‘It’.” Harry smirked up at him, the smug little smile making Neville’s eyes go narrow. Instead of responding with words, the LionPuff shoved the hilt of his blade into the soft flesh under Harry’s chin. When Harry only rolled his eyes at the move, even as his head tilted away to ease the pressure, Neville smiled down at him coldly. And pressed the little silver button.

_Ssssnnnk!_

Harry’s whole body flinched at the sound, the red glow from his right eye brightening just slightly as his pupil opened wide with surprise. Now Neville smirked, withdrawing his hand and the knife from Harry’s throat and sitting up. The blade was perilously close to Neville’s wrist, having shot out of the shaft away from Harry, but the hard edges of the hilt were still going to leave little marks on the underside of his jaw.

“Jesus fucking christ,” Harry wheezed.

“What, you thought I’d actually stab you? Who do you take me fo-”

Neville was cut off by Harry abruptly heaving himself forward and yanking on Neville’s arm. This tuned them both sideways and now Neville was on the bottom with Harry sitting on _him_ and knocking Neville breathless. And then-

Oh. ok. 

Neville dropped the switchblade in exchange for burying both hands in Harry’s hair, fingers snagging on the tangled curls and gripping tightly. Harry’s lips were cold and slightly chapped, but Neville didn’t care. He might have yelped a bit when teeth suddenly bit down sharply on his lower lip, but he didn’t try to push Harry away. Pull him closer perhaps, but not away. Never away.

When Harry finally decided to let him breathe, sitting up a bit as they both panted little grey clouds into the cold night air, the Badger announced- “We have GOT to do this again.” He grinned toothily down at Neville, looking perfectly delighted with the events of the night.

While a sane person would have meant they needed to kiss more, Neville knew better than to label Harry as sane. “You _want_ me to stab you?” Mmm.. he still had his hands in Harry’s hair. Prob’ly holding on too tightly too but Harry wasn’t complaining yet and Neville’s liked the warmth of his scalp under his palms.

“Mmm… no, no stabbing,” after thinking about it for a few seconds which was far too long when a stabbing was in the potential future. “No, we should come out here and fight more often because that was _hot_ as _fuck_ Nev! I told you you could do it!”

Neville had to protest as he felt his cheeks turn red. “I didn’t do anything, you let me catch you!” 

Harry raised an eyebrow down at him. “I’m sorry, who the fuck just pretended to stab me in the face with a six inch switchblade? That took some balls and you even had me fooled for a few seconds. It was awesome!”

Now that he thought about it… Neville winced. He’d gotten caught up in the moment, that’s all. “Only you would think getting fake-stabbed was worth a kiss. That’s a little messed up Harry, even for you.”

Neville had the smallest of moments to regret that sentence when Harry glared at him. He was firmly rebuked as Harry ducked down to kiss him again, teeth nipping at his lips, while at the same time doing a little wriggling grind over Neville’s lap to prove he wasn’t the only one aroused here. _So there._

“..I stand corrected,” Neville muttered afterwards, face flushed red.

“No,” Harry snickered as if he hadn’t just kissed Neville senseless. “You lay-” he tilted his head to the side without finishing his sentence. Neville caught it too, voices off to the side where the forest touched the school grounds. Out of sight but nearby. 

“Shit.”

Neville reluctantly uncurled his fingers as Harry sat up fully, half turned towards the speakers. The weight across his hips made him hope they weren’t looking for him or Harry, but those vague wishes were dashed quickly as some of the words became clearer. Whinier. Shrill accusations of evil and dark magics.

“Ron.” Neville sighed. “We stayed too long and his detention finished.”

Harry hummed as he rolled up to his feet and offered a hand to Neville, hauling the LionPuff up. Since he hadn’t bothered to take a step back, this brought them nearly nose to nose once Neville was upright. “Bet we can get back to the castle before they actually see us.”

Neville rolled his eyes with a snort. His lower lip suddenly started to sting, making him reach up to touch it. Neville was surprised to find that Harry had bitten him much harder than it had felt like at the time when his fingers came away bloody. Not for long though as Harry leaned in and lapped away the red droplets, making Neville’s breath catch in his throat. 

He really, really wished there weren’t a flock of asshole Gryffindors so close by, because..

Neville groaned as Harry grabbed his hand and pulled him further into the forest. “Come on! We’ll go around them. I haven’t seen Cujo since we got out here, have you? Ran off like a bat out of hell... you’d think he prefers to be cold and starving.”

On cue, somewhere to the right came a series of deep barks.

“Huh. Speak of the Devil and he shall appear.. Let’s go!”

The next time he came face to face with Ron, Neville decided as the cool night air eased away the flush from his cheeks, the redhead was getting punched in the face _really really hard_. What was that term Harry had used a while back? Yeah, Ron was a total ‘cock block’. Not that.. uh… Neville would have taken it that far, they were only thirteen!, but the _option_ to do so would have been nice!

Fucker.

Harry was right, cursing _did_ help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Or the chapter where the italics ran away from me. Whoops.
> 
> Pretty sure everyone knew this was coming, so... yeah. Heh. Neville finally got his kiss. Time to update my tags I suppose.

**Author's Note:**

> .
> 
>  
> 
>  Updates are every two weeks at the moment, sorry for the wait between chapters but things are being difficult. Thanks for sticking with me so far :D


End file.
